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I made a post about a day or two ago about how my grandfather passed and my long term partner walker out on me. Since that post I have plummeted severely. I had a breakdown yesterday and was considering to take my life but I called the Samaritans and it helped me a lot and I was greatful for the service. But today I feel even more of a burden on people. My mother lost it at me and started talking about how she had had enough of everything and everyone and how she just wants to leave for like 2 weeks and get away from me and everyone around her and that just broke me. I’m already feeling so useless and worthless after the break up and I’m just so lost in myself. I look In the mirror and i don’t know who I am anymore. The thought of being a single mother is too much. The thought of doing all this without my partner is terrifying. I know he is suffering and isn’t in the right head space but I’m just so worried about him all the time I can’t actually handle the situation. I want to explain more of what he’s been threw before people start to think he just up and left. He is currently in the middle of a masters degree in college. He drive to and from classes everyday at around 6 am and makes the 2 hour journey to the campus. He is holding down a job and our child at the same time. He took it all on himself and he broke and he is in a dark place and I can’t save him at all. I feel so hopeless. I wanted to save him and I couldn’t and I eneded up getting lost myself. I held down our son by my self for the last 3 years, never asked for a penny, fed him, washed him and his clothes, potty trained, made him sleep in his own bed, told him how much his daddy loves him and after all I did he still left me. He left our family. I wasn’t enough. I’m not good enough. It’s breaking me. He said he doesn’t love me anymore but i can’t accept that it’s tio much to even think about. I hope it’s all coz of his depression and he will come home to us again. We were together for 7 years, I’m 22 and he is 21. I love him so much even after all this hurt..
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