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I made a post about a day or two ago about how my grandfather passed and my long term partner walker out on me. Since that post I have plummeted severely. I had a breakdown yesterday and was considering to take my life but I called the Samaritans and it helped me a lot and I was greatful for the service. But today I feel even more of a burden on people. My mother lost it at me and started talking about how she had had enough of everything and everyone and how she just wants to leave for like 2 weeks and get away from me and everyone around her and that just broke me. I’m already feeling so useless and worthless after the break up and I’m just so lost in myself. I look In the mirror and i don’t know who I am anymore. The thought of being a single mother is too much. The thought of doing all this without my partner is terrifying. I know he is suffering and isn’t in the right head space but I’m just so worried about him all the time I can’t actually handle the situation. I want to explain more of what he’s been threw before people start to think he just up and left. He is currently in the middle of a masters degree in college. He drive to and from classes everyday at around 6 am and makes the 2 hour journey to the campus. He is holding down a job and our child at the same time. He took it all on himself and he broke and he is in a dark place and I can’t save him at all. I feel so hopeless. I wanted to save him and I couldn’t and I eneded up getting lost myself. I held down our son by my self for the last 3 years, never asked for a penny, fed him, washed him and his clothes, potty trained, made him sleep in his own bed, told him how much his daddy loves him and after all I did he still left me. He left our family. I wasn’t enough. I’m not good enough. It’s breaking me. He said he doesn’t love me anymore but i can’t accept that it’s tio much to even think about. I hope it’s all coz of his depression and he will come home to us again. We were together for 7 years, I’m 22 and he is 21. I love him so much even after all this hurt..
1 like, 27 replies
carmela45627 tara96740
Posted
You need support. He suffers from depression?
You may need to seek professional help along with finding assistance for you and your child.
If you are a single mom there should be programs for you and your child. You will need to only concentrate on the two of you.
Your mom needs space right now. Allow her some time.
Please try to get profressional help for yourself. So that you will be able to care for both of you.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. That is sad.
Your partner, well, they need help too.
But please, try to take care of yourself and your child first.
Please seek help and assistance.
You can always come back here to talk and vent.
tara96740 carmela45627
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katehippy tara96740
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Honey, you obviously care deeply for everyone around you and it's driving you to distraction that you can't help. The situation might be out of your control, and your mental health is suffering, but that's what you need to focus on most at the moment, yes? It might feel impossible right now, but honestly your son needs you. Have you been to the doctor's yet?
The only other thing I can think that might help is joining a group locally where you can watch your son and talk to other mothers? Don't panic about talking to other people - you'd be surprised how much others are dealing with, and how it helps to know we're not alone!
Lots of love to you xx
P.s. You're right to give your partner time, he will be back when ready xx
tara96740 katehippy
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katehippy tara96740
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It's so good to hear you have supportive friends, angel. It sounds like you're already doing all the right things to try and keep sane through all the madness. This site is SO good to have a rant if you need to vent all those impossible feelings. We all care and are hear to listen, and hopefully help. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the amazing souls that follow these posts.
Lots of love and keep us updated xx
tara96740 katehippy
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katehippy tara96740
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I'm not surprised you're worried about him, having left so suddenly... With no conversation!? There's no explanation apart from his state of mind, but that's no consolation right now, hey? I know what your darkest fears are but he is on a mission to complete his masters no matter what. Have faith. Your lives will always be intertwined. It's unusual for both people to have such trauma at the same time, though? Generally one person in the relationship has a hard time, the other props them up, then the same caring and understanding is returned in the opposite situation. No wonder you're in limbo, and that's only One thing going on in your life. You also have a loss in the family. One loss at a time is enough to deal with, but you have two with your partner leaving. So far you are doing really well at keeping things on a level, seriously! You already know that he can't handle life with any more complications, so now it's up to you to carry on till he's ready. When does his degree finish angel? The next few months could be spent rebuilding relations with your Ma - that's whenever you're ready of course xx
tara96740 katehippy
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carmela45627 tara96740
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I’m sure he loved both of you, but he is young and may not know how to deal with all of the responsibility.
Right now please only worry about your son and yourself.
It’s very hard, but you can do it. You are doing many things to improve the lives of both of you and that is fantastic.
Be proud of yourself. Your doing it without your partner!
tara96740 carmela45627
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carmela45627 tara96740
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He can only
Help himself. He will. It just takes time.
When you least expect it, he will call you.
I know it hurts deeply, but you may need to move on for the sake of your sanity and for your son.
tara96740 carmela45627
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tara96740 carmela45627
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Maryannn tara96740
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Hey tara, i can imagine exactly how you feel love, you spend such a long time with someone you don't expect to ever leave just like that. I suspect your significant other is suffering from "Burnout" . Look it up he seems exhausted having a family and doing his masters it can all become over whelming at times. Read up about it and let me know if you think he falls into that category very few people know about Burnout and he probably doesn't even know it's what he's experiencing. I always had a good relationship with my partner aswell and then he just started drifting when he got his job and was constantly working and tired and we broke up. I miss him truely but i've accepted defeat because truely you can save a soul that doesn't want to be save. Meanwhile look after yourself, i hopw you pull through this with an even softer heart who still has a lot of love left.
Maryannn
Maryannn
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You can't save a soul that doesn't want to be saved.*
Maryannn
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You can't save a soul that doesn't want to be saved.*
tara96740 Maryannn
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tara96740 Maryannn
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Maryannn tara96740
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Hey Tara, you have been in a relationship for many yrs, i can understand why its hard because you always had him there as a support and a lover.
Men tend to hide alot of their emotions from women because they don't want to appear weak. I've been exactly where you are i know how much it can hurt. Helping them a lot of the time tends to drive them further away because men isolate themselves to solve their problems or time is exactly what he needs right now to heal himself, to him his problems may feel bigger than him because only he really understands his struggles and you guys are both really young, when i was younger i thought i knew alot about life and love it was only after i went through my first heart break it really opened up my mind, saw life very differently, people always say time heals all wounds and whilst it's veryy true i know when i was in your position i didn't want to hear it, you may very well never forget, you might no one ever really knows, but in order to save someone sometimes you have to set them free if you truely love him and want to help him if he needs you be there to listen. Don't forget yourself in the process cuz your health is also very important and your kids'?.
Maryannn
tara96740 Maryannn
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Maryannn tara96740
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Honestly i'm with you on the so over it just need room to breathe, but if you need someone to talk to you can always inbox me on here .
tara96740 Maryannn
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