Angry at My Doctor

Posted , 19 users are following.

I just saw my doctor today to see if anything can be done about my symptoms (bloating, cramping, heavy bleeding, depression, anger, frustration, crying, hopelessness...the list goes on). Rather than taking pills, which I've tried and they haven't worked, I told her that I am just going to "ride out the rest of the symptoms". She basically told me that I need to change my attitude and embrace what is happening, and that my thinking will only worsen my symptoms.

I left her office feeling completely misunderstood, hurt, and angered by her inability to grasp the scope of what I have been dealing with for two years!!

I am a very strong and positive person, who is able to handle stress (believe me), but perimenopause has just about broken me.

Can anyone relate?

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  • Posted

    Not sure why she thinks your not embracing this time because you dont want to take pills for symptoms??? doesnt make sense to me ehat does she think about yiur attitude is wrong ?? they all just want to give a pill i know!!! im fustrated with system to seems very messed up to me! its fustrating ehen you just want them to relate to you and they dont! right now im 10 days away from period maybe lol cause i never know when it comes! and i have headaches nausea feel agitated and emotional and its a crazy maker cause u go online and its like am i supposed ti feel this way? i know im peri im 49 progesterone is low and estrogen is now dropping too so much fun!!!

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  • Posted

    I can relate and sending you a big CUDDLE. It is almost impossible to find a Dr who can really listen, understand and show empathy. I think Dr's study very little human psychology. They don't even look at one's face... And unfortunately very little understand women's issues even the gynecologists. All the best.

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  • Posted

    yes i can relate to everything even down to the dr mi e is the same as yours i stopped complaining to her. but i do hope that when this crap hit her i hope she has it as bad as me im sorry to say that i usually dont wish things upon people but its natural part of life wont kill us they say. so yea i hope she has it bad cause i want to say your fine walk it off. your not alone i cry everyday 8 years is enough if all this no end in sight.

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  • Posted

    I can totally relate!! I have bad anxiety, first peri symptom and my doctor was like oh it's all in your head. Like low progesterone doesn't cause anxiety? WTF? It's a major peri symptom. And again she was a woman. It's APALLING that female OBGYNs don't even have empathy for or UNDERSTAND women's hormones and how devastating peri and menopause can be on a woman's physical and mental health. That same OBGYN told me when she hit 50 she was going to just have a hysterectomy just to make sure she never gets cancer. Like even if she's healthy. WHATTT?????? I wish there was something we could do. Like stage a protest or something. March on Washington for Women's Health!!

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  • Posted

    Beverly, I can totally relate. Normally feel like my doctors are annoyed that I bother them. I complain about my symptoms only to be told there is not much that be done. With my headaches, I was told to take muscle relaxers more often and increase the tylenol pills. always more pills. that cannot be the answer. Every day is a struggle. I can only hope the symptoms get better one day, year.

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  • Posted

    Yes... was at the Dr last week and she basically shrugged her shoulders and chuckled. So that's what I gathered; is just ride it out. When I'm feeling bad-- I'll stay home and then enjoy the good days that come around. She did say that many women have achy joints and aniexty and to exercise often to prevent gaining weight. It's odd that she didn't mentioned anything about nutrition but I already met with a nutritionist a few months back.

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  • Posted

    i totally understand ur feelings. by reading posts here and my own experience n others too, it seems like doctors are lately pushing anti-depressents like free candies. Obviously, once on it, the "patient" becomes a customer for life, since coming off it is not easy either!! we just need to identify the "real" need, and be stronger and sensible in our health choices. this is a very upsetting trend among doctors of all specialties...whether it is obg/gyn, gastro, gp, etc. even by student counsellors!! its like the grown ups version of hanzel n gretel story. we, the general public clearly don't want to go this route. doctors r clearly working fr pharmaceutical companies!! so commercial! as a side note, some menopause symptoms seem to alleviate just by making healthy choices in food and exercise.

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  • Posted

    I am very lucky as my gp practice has 3 doctors all sympathetic about my symptoms. They are trying really hard to get me through it but admit they are struggling. They see me every two weeks even if it's just for support emotionally. I'm sorry you are all having problems, it's hard enough without lack of medical help.

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  • Posted

    hi

    let me just say this i was a nurse and when i was in school we were taught very little about menopause and perimenopause wasnt even mentioned so my first primary was a dr i worked with in hospice he sat and listened to me for a hour lol! he said in medical school he didnt learn much about peri either he did do my blood work for my hormones but he said your in peri no matter what the bloodwork says which of course came back normal! im not a canidate for hrt which idk if i would take it well he left his practice so i went to another dr i worked with i was a hospice nurse well luckly this drs wife is going thru peri as well so he totallygets it! but i continually hear on these boards about the drs that dont have a clue! unless your going thru it no one will truly understand i used to say to myself some of these drs shouldnt be drs lol!!!! i totally understand im in the middle of this nightmare and i have to believe there is a light at the end of this! hugs to you!

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  • Posted

    I totally understand what your feeling. I ended up at walk in clinic after having a panic attack. explained my symptoms and he handed me a tube of estrogel and said I'll be happy in a couple weeks. I did try the gel because I was desperate and noticed all my joint pain disappeared I felt really good until around the 6th day I noticed I was becoming very teary all the time and felt very bloated. So I stopped it. I just don't see how Drs don't get It. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that hormones play a big role in womens lives. there's PMS, Pregnancy causing morning sickness, dizziness fatigue ect, Postnatal depression. which is all hormone related and has to do with estrogen and progesterone. Drs are aware of these but somehow menopause caused by these same factors is brushed off. your body functions work in sync and if one thing stops it throws the rest of the functions off. l just don't see how Drs can't figure this out. It's common sense! At least now I know from using the estrogel the joint pain is not just getting older like I was told. I find I'm having to do my own research and try different things. Nothing's worked yet. people on here understand what your going through. Sending you hugs

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    • Posted

      Thanks so much for your understanding. I have a female physician who tells me that she "has gone through it", but she clearly had a different experience than myself, and so she thinks that somehow by "thinking positive", the symptoms will just melt away all on their own! If that's all it took, I would have solved my problems long ago!

      All I wanted was validation; something along the lines of "You are in a difficult time in your life Bev, so you just have to hang in there. You are moving through the process, and you will come out the other side and feel good again".

      Putting the onus on the woman for her physical and psychological symptoms, due to hormones, is wrong, unprofessional, and just plain cruel.

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  • Posted

    Hi bev

    I can totally relate. I dread having to go to the drs and avoid it until i need a script. when i didn't want to be on pills the dr said ' you dont want to get better do you' Now on my last visit he raised his voice at me angry that i'd told him i think all my pain is to do with peri... he yelled "you dont feel any pain with peri or meno, none at all. peri and meno do not cause pain"

    I have no dr to go to in my town that i feel will listen and care, I'd settle for doing their job.

    I am now on HRT and pills and still suffering but until speaking here, in silence.

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    • Posted

      Your doctor sounds horrid. I love when they tell you X doesn't cause Y. Like they can be 100% sure of anything. I had a ruptured cyst and had esp severe pain whenever I ate. I didn't eat for 2 months straight. Yet my doc was like "oh I've never heard of anyone having pain when eating after a cyst". Also 20 years ago when I told my doctor wheat and sugar made me break out, he said "oh food can't impact your skin, and you can't be allergic to wheat". Cut to today and it's a medically proven FACT that wheat and sugar can cause breakouts rashes etc. A good doctor knows their limits and believes their patients know their bodies.

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    • Posted

      OMG, that sounds absolutely awful! You poor thing! It's mind boggling how the medical community can be so ill-educated on the subject of perimenopause and menopause. If my doctor had to live in my skin for even a week, I am certain that she wouldn't be able to do it! The callous disregard for human suffering is a crime!

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    • Posted

      I couldn't agree more! I don't know why some doctors think that they know everything, and that if they haven't had clinical experience with what a patient is bringing up to them, then it can't exist?! That viewpoint is pure arrogance and ignorance, plain and simple.

      I am now on the hunt for a new doctor: one who listens to patients and empowers them in their quest for health and happiness!

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