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I've been receiving treatment for depression and anxiety for about 3 months now, the problem has been pretty bad for about 10 months or so. However, all through my life I've had depressive episodes and anxiety issues and it seems that all that happens is that they just get worse and worse.
The first time it was really bad I was in sixthform and they basically forced me to go to the doctors and get help. I was given a little counselling (made me feel worse) and was put on fluoxetine, I took this for two weeks and what I can only assume happened is that it brought on a manic episode and I stopped taking it after those two weeks, however, my elated mood continued, I was out every night, spending a lot of money, talking and meeting all sorts of new people, I took up an obsession with drawing, I moved out of my dads and in with a girl I barely knew (i slept on a mattress on the floor in the corner of her living room and was perfectly happy doing this), i bought a kitten with said girl, i was sexually risky and had the belief that the pain i had suffered some how made me incredibly desirable and superior to everyone. This was all very out of character for me, I'm usually very shy and quiet and pretty sensible, this carried out for about 2/3 months. I think I had minor periods of this over the following couple of years, then I got really ill and spent 4 months in agony until I had surgery, but this brought on a very deep depression and have since stayed this way. This time round, I again didn't seek treatment, but my doctor basically asked the right questions and got it out of me, I've since been on beta-blockers and diazepam for anxiety neither helped, and I've been on sertraline and mirtazapine for depression, neither have helped either.
My mum had a history of serious mental illness but she died when I was 10, and I was sexually abused when I just turned 13 and was bullied for years by my step-mum. I suffer from panic attacks, generalized anxiety disorder and am really struggling, I don't have friends and have very little family, all of which are in a different city any way.
I guess what I'm asking, if the antidepressants aren't working could it be something else? Is there something else I could try? I haven't told anyone a lot of this information, this is sorta a last ditch attempt to get some answers as I struggle even telling my doctor straight, I spent years hiding how I felt. Help please????
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