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Antidepressants, GP's, Counsellling, and suicidal thoughts

Posted , 5 users are following.

orano
orano

Hi,

So, i dont want to appear as one of those suicidal people that cry for help on here as ultimately in my stable mind I am logical and do not see suicide as a genuine solution.

My story however goes back 6 years ago from a 2 year drug addcition that tore my life apart.

I have suffered from depression for about 4 years now, but never wanted to make it an issue because of personal circumstances, and just tried to "live with it"

The prompt that made me seek help was back in January when i tried to take my life by means of an overdose.

From that, I decided to approach my GP, and was referred to counselling (i did not disclose the attempt on my life)

The counsellor immediately advised i ask for antidepressants after hearing the start of my story, and as such i went on a course of citalopram, which i stuck with for 8 weeks going up to the max dose with no effect.

Throughout this period i felt extremely down and different, and wasnt responding to counselling.

They switched me onto zoloft 50mg, and am currently in week 2... with ups and downs

What i have withheld from GPs and counsellors throughout this process is the suicidial thoughts, and stuff relating to that. On the weekly surveys, I always tick the "never" box, as i just dont want to be classified as that sort of person, and i also dont want that on my medical record! I also have the impression that if you hint at that.... I could well be sectioned, and nasty intervention stuff like that may ensue.

I have repeatedly had thought every other day recently of how useless my current situation is, and after 4 years of suffering am getting fed up of this, having had no positive response from citalopram, and limited response thus far from zoloft.

I am currently feeling very down, and again having thoughts that i would be better off dead. In my rational mind, i know i probably wont act on this (although my actions in january still worry me), and have an awareness of the transcient nature of thoughts.

I'm not looking for attention or comments of "hang in there"... as i have told myself this for years and am still "hanging in there" evidently, so these comments would be taken with a pinch of salt.

However, i am currently faced with more and more dark thoughts, and if this zoloft doesnt solve them, I am going to be left in a very hopeless position.

My question to you is this : What happens if you disclose to your GP that you have had suicidal thoughts? I hate being assosciated with this as i pride myself in being logical and know that at my core this is not what is for me, but it concerns me that recently the lows i've been feeling have become extremely prominent, and i worry that after my hopes of citamopram sorting out my issues have been dropped, that zoloft will lead me down the same route, and I will be left hopeless in a sense (as i am in no way willing to take some of the more surpressive drugs prescribed for depression that I have read about... essentially zombifying you!)

Should I tell my GP about these thoughts? Will I be rushed away in a white van if i do? If that is just a myth.... then what could they do differently in terms of treatment that i am receiving having not disclosed these feelings.

Sorry for the long post. But i am not really an emotionally open person, and feel extremely reserved and distrustful about disclosing this sort of information to a forum, let alone a GP which will permanently stamp these isssues on my medical record!!

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 orano

    Posted

    Hello Orano, I am sorry your feeling this way. Depression is awful and feeling suicidal is adding to your already difficult emotions. If you disclose your suicidal thoughts to your GP it will be on your records but these records are confidential, and unless you express that your going to act on these thoughts you will not be sectioned. You are only sectioned if you are in danger to yourself or to others. Again if you express these feelings to a Counseller the same applys. You could talk with the Samaratians about your feelings and you can stay annomonous and unless you are in danger to yourself or others no action will be taken. Please talk with someone, maybe the Samaratians would be best as this is not recorded on your medical records as whatever you say to them is Confidential. All proffessionals will only share information if your expressing a danger to yourself or others. Talking about how you feel is safe. I would like to add that i hope you don't act on these thoughts as i have personally been affected by my husband and nephew whom both commited suicide, and the pain and hurt left behind is a lwill last a lifetime for myself and my girls. Please talk with someone it will help you to deal with your thoughts and emotions, don't bottle it up. Wishing you the best. If you want to pm me your welcome to and i will get back to you. I also have depression and have sometimes felt suicidal but wouldn't act on these thoughts because i couldn't hurt those who would be left behind.

    Elizabeth. 

  • craig80602
    craig80602 orano

    Posted

    Orano, good luck. Not sure if i can add anything helpful. I have a foot in both camps. I suffer from recurrent depression and have been taking citalopram and lithium for 17 years, generally to v good effect (and i havent suffered from any significant s-e's). I am also a psychologist with the NHS in the UK. As Elizabeth says, you wont be sectioned for having suicidal thoughts. I'm having a rubbish spell at the moment myself. Off work. I can only empathise with you and hope you find some answers - I think they are different for all of us.

  • Bird82
    Bird82 orano

    Posted

    Hi, I am in the exact same position as you and I totally understand where you're at. I have the same suicidal thoughts which are currently bombarding my mind every damn day. Of course, nobody actually knows about this and like you, I have only ever said it on here. I have never told a gp about it and in my previous (3) sessions of counselling / CBT I too ticked the "never" box for that question. I'm at a point now where the thoughts are too much and I'm starting to get really worried that one day something will switch in my mind and I'll do it. It only takes a second right?

    I'm not on any medications as previous experience has taught me that the side effects far outweigh any good they may do. I do not need to be an overweight zombie thank you very much! So I'm trying my best to get my mind right without meds.

    I'm due to start a fourth bout of CBT / counselling but this time I will tick all the boxes and tell the truth. I have small children but am in no way a danger to them so I'm hoping to God they don't try to section me or anything. It's just that lying and putting up a front is only making things worse.

    I'll let you know how I get on and then hopefully it'll reassure you that everything will be alright.

  • hypercat
    hypercat orano

    Posted

    Hi in my experience if you tell a doctor that they will ask you if you have a plan.   If you say no they will just keep an eye on you and perhaps change your meds or send you for counselling.  If you say yes they will contact the Mental Health Team for more urgent treatment.  

    It takes more than than to be sectioned as this is something they only do as a last resort.  If they think you need hospitalisation they will ask you first.  

    There isn't a 'sort of person'  who gets suicidal.  Anyone can and you need to tell your medical team how you feel so they can properly help you.  There is no point if you don't is there?   x

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