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I need help.this is the first time I've posted on here.for the past 6/7 months I've been under alot of stress and change with giving up my job and flat for uni,moving in with my mother and then getting a new job and flat in the last five months.especially in the last two months I've become very anxious and after a few weeks depressed as my doctor feels.I was given sertraline two weeks ago but I didn't like how they made me feel,I've been back since and am having an over the phone analysis in two weeks for a psychiatrist. I've felt very detatched from life,alone,isolated,thinking life isn't real and generally feeling scared,though going to uni was something I've missed out on before,I'm 25 in march.I'm in the city I've wanted to move back to for two years before I did so,and I'm closer to the family I love,adore and they're so amazing
amazing.I feel like I'm going mad as it seems too good to be true and thats what scares me the most.I've got to the point where I think life isn't worth feeling like this,and that I'm doing things out of habit and because I should,when all I want to do is stay in bed.I overthinking everything,and very hyperaware of everything around me.I've also got to the point where I want to run away,but I know my problems will follow me,of taking an overdose or something,but I know how much I'd hurt my family.last Wednesday it got too much and I went to the samaritans and spoke to them,which helped so much,but later in work as I was dealing with delivery I put a scissor blade to my arm without a thought because of how emotional I was and that Id had decreasing amounts sleep for the week before.in ny head I screamed what are you doing and put it back down.I'm just so scared,I want to live and be my normal self before all this,bit at times I just want to die but im scared of death.
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