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I know using a forum indicates that you mental health isnt in the strongest place but I am hoping there is someone out there you has been strong and anxiety free for many years and can offer some hope.
I have had GAD at the severe (want to end it all) end of the spectrum for 8 years. The longest I have been able to lead a normal 'happy' life is 22 months. Other than than my life has been a car crash. When GAD strikes I end up like a toddler - I leave my family home and move back to my mothers, my partner is brilliant but admits he cannot go on like this.
This is the longest I have been off work (6 weeks) although I am still writing some reports from home. I am going to end up on sick pay with not enough money to live because it is a small company. I started a sideline business involving stock animals which might come to an end if I cannot afford their livery. Which I cannot if I am on sick pay. I will do well to keep my rental property (through savings).
I am in-built to pile huge pressure on myself and I think I am the cause of my own downfall.
I have tried 9 different drugs in endless combinations and have not found anything that can make me feel comfortable in myself to lead a full and complete life. I have always got home and back to work but I never been 'me' again. Other than the 22 months I mention above which was after my first attack when I thought it was a blip and had full faith in the meds, I was off 5 days and then back into full action, each episode has knocked my confidence more and more and any sort of recovery has been longer and longer.
Please can someone tell me a great success story where GAD is under control and life feels good. I would also really like to hear from people with children. I have always wanted to be a mum and have decided that it is too risky to bring a child into this. No one wants a crazy mum! If you decided to have a child, how did you reach that decision and has it help reduce the strength of your anxiety? I wonder if having something so precious to fight for increases your ability to cope?
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