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Hello everyone and blessings to all for a healing and peace. I could not be more thankful to have come upon this chance to share with people who understand. I was physically and mentally abused as a child, I grew up with horrific fear that I was going to be killed by my mother. I became an addict of alcohol most of my adult yrs, I am 58. My daughter who I have been very close to moved off to college two and ahalf yrs ago. This triggered the most horrific anxiety. The separation surfaced PTSD from my childhood..FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN........ MY MIND BEGAN going in circles everyday every minute....the thoughts of death nearly impossible to stop, no matter how I have tried. As a child I felt I was in a war zone, never knowing when the enemy( my mother) was going to strike in her rage and try and kill me. I know that this stems from the trauma from my childhood...It is the thoughts that can really reak havoc on your ability to function on any level. I have not talked with anyone about this...it has been a LIVING HELL..A PRISON OF MISERY. The separation from my daughter has seemed like a death to me...I have not been able to stop the terrible thoughts about this. She simpily grew up and moved away. I have been drinking everyday to stuff this anxiety and pain and suffering. For 6 days now I have not had a drink and I have been blessed to find this means of communication. Anxiety is HORRIBLE, I realized how bad I suffer from this just recently, for I have had no life for myself, no joy, no peace just boatloads of fear, and sweating, and pounding/racing heart and endless looping of scarythoughts that finally made me see I have a problem bigtime, I need help and this is my first step in reaching out to others. I hold EVERYONE IN MY HEART that has to deal with this FEAR...with loving gratitude..Tina
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