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Anxiety At My Door

Posted , 6 users are following.

Sillymop
Sillymop

Please forgive the dramatic title; but this is simply how it feels currently.

Hello all and I hope each of you are doing well and working through things better.

A week ago I had a bit of a break through regarding my health anxiety, vertigo and anxiety... I noticed a huge change in both myself and the symptoms.

Today I feel a change. I feel as if my mind were a house, if I were to look through the peep hole in the door anxiety would be stood on my mat. A great big hair dark monster that is threatening to come back in and sit itself down at my table...

I won't go into detail, but as I say I had a break through and felt better. My weekend has been extremely busy and a long car journey left me coming home late at night feeling the sensation of still moving for a long while until I went to sleep. Since than the vertigo seems to have come back. I have continued to be fairly busy with work and personal chores which have left me feeling absolutely exhausted today. I also have a headache and feel a little queasy, either from exhaustion or stress (or both.)

Weirdly as I sat earlier trying to watch tv and unwind, I chanced upon a hospital programme. For a split second as I saw them on the hospital bed I experienced a brief episode of 'spinning' vertigo but it did not even last a second...and it felt almost imagined.

I'm sorry if this makes me sound completely mad sad

My anxiety over my woozyness has come back as this week I know my GP should be phoning at some point to see how I am doing. I've begun to focus on it again and today I felt myself once again fearing a deadly illness or brain tumour.

I pulled my mind away from it and mentally told myself no, that I need to just get over feeling so tired.... Does this make sense to anyone?

Last night my left ear (this very inner part,) felt like it had fluid in it again which has left my ears aching a little occasionally.

It's as if the doctor checking up has made my mind focus on it again when before it made me feel comforted that they would ring.

I'm currently trying to relax. If I were more relaxed I would probably sleep - but I feel myself poised as if in ready for battle again.

.....I just wanted to share, really. I hope no one minds my waffling.

Wishing you all well

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever Sillymop

    Posted

    Yes it all seems like your Anxiety and I would expect your GP will think the same.

    When it comes to driving I am like you I feel dizzy and my eyes get really sore and I can be really tired for a few days afterwards. I have been across to North Ireland, IOW and NW Scotland also Inverness and Glasgow to name just a few, I have driven 15000 miles in the last twelve months and I am very loath to have a long journey again this year it just makes me so tired as well. And I may need to go down to Southampton before Christmas, I feel like when I get where I am going I still feel my head is still travelling at 70 when I go to bed. You are not alone

    B.

  • 33cody
    33cody Sillymop

    Posted

    I also had a great week and then I woke two days ago and feel like I'm slipping back a bit and the woozy cloudy foggy headed feeling has come back tho not as bad but it's there, I keep trying to tell myself that I'm over it it's no big deal there's no problem with me just anxiety but this time it's fighting back an not disappearing, I'm hoping it's just a blip and I'll wake up tmw and get back in track lol your not alone and fight it as hard as you can you know you can get better as you have had a good run before now good luck

  • ann67823
    ann67823 Sillymop

    Posted

    It seems when I am doing better and keeping busy, overly busy, once I get home I start feeling very anxious again I lay down in the bed talk to myself convinced myself that I am OK and it usually does pass... Seems as though I used to being just when I was outside of my house now I am more anxious when I'm in the house which has me a bit baffled, so I think we all fear the next creeping up at any given time, and it's ok to feel surreal, scared at times, we have been thru an awful lot..... Wishing you a great holiday, and take time for yourself!!

    • 33cody
      33cody ann67823

      Posted

      Yea my problem is once the thought creeps in, it stays in and takes me a bit to get over it. It makes me nervous that I'm gonna be stuck with this feeling forever and that scares me the most, you also have a good holiday. I felt so good I took like 6 days off this forum, I don't hardly recognize any names lol

    • ann67823
      ann67823 33cody

      Posted

      I too was off a while, guess the meds are kicking in lol.. I promise you will not feel like this forever!!!
  • Anxious_Nick
    Anxious_Nick Sillymop

    Posted

    Aww, SillyMop. Ups and downs - as you and I know - are very normal. But triggers can send you into the Worry Zone now and then. I'm very easily triggered when I see police and emergency services. Every time I even hear a siren it makes me think of getting sick, being ill, that something might happen to me. I can't watch medical shows or certain movies. So that might have contributed to your feeling of "impending" anxiety. Try to get back into a flow of distraction. Work, chores, exercise, music, reading, etc. Keep doing things to bring your focus elsewhere. You've been doing better and I'm proud that you're trying so hard. smile! 

    Much love xxx 

    • helen20833
      helen20833 Anxious_Nick

      Posted

      Absolutely correct Nick!

      I cannot praise you enough for such an insightful post

      Yes, sirens, medical shows. The mind association can be negative and frightening. You are sensible enough to avoid negative input at this time in your life

      You have come such a long way!

      And your understanding of AD/PD is breathtaking and such a wonderful moral booster for others

      You too should be proud of yourself

      Hugs Helen

  • helen20833
    helen20833 Sillymop

    Posted

    Hi Mopsy

    Catch 22.

    On the one hand you take comfort knowing there is soon to be a connection with the GP..on the other hand you're thinking, What is he finds something wrong with me?

    What if I have a....gulp...brain tumour!

    You might as well say, Come on in Anxiety. Welcome Panic. Do your worst.

    And you're back to square one with a bump

    The mind is suspectible and once again you are honing in on your symptoms

    Busy time, long car journey....physically and mentally tiring

    Your defences are down so you feel a little unsteady, sickly

    Fluid in your ear? Slight earache?

    Hardly life threatening dear

    Do you see what you're doing?

    Fearing the symptoms until they magnify in your mind and body

    I cannot impress upon you enough it isn't the symptoms you have to fear. They will not kill you. You can deal with them with self-help

    Mopsy, you HAVE to lose your fear of the symptoms

    If you get aches and pains and the rest it doesn't mean you are going to drop down dead

    It means you've got aches and pains and the rest...likely ignited by tension and anxiety, possibly by minor physical illness.

    Seeing a hosptal bed, momentarily imagining yourself in it....anxiety induced.

    Result? Vertigo

    And what's all this poised and ready for battle? Huh?

    Fighting it? Bad girl, lol

    Start again, Mopsy, start again

    Right thinking

    Get your sensible head on

    Brain tumour? Away with you. No time for such nonsense. I've got my AD/PD to

    deal with and I will

    I can

    Hugs Helen xx

     

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