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Please forgive the dramatic title; but this is simply how it feels currently.
Hello all and I hope each of you are doing well and working through things better.
Today I feel a change. I feel as if my mind were a house, if I were to look through the peep hole in the door anxiety would be stood on my mat. A great big hair dark monster that is threatening to come back in and sit itself down at my table...
I won't go into detail, but as I say I had a break through and felt better. My weekend has been extremely busy and a long car journey left me coming home late at night feeling the sensation of still moving for a long while until I went to sleep. Since than the vertigo seems to have come back. I have continued to be fairly busy with work and personal chores which have left me feeling absolutely exhausted today. I also have a headache and feel a little queasy, either from exhaustion or stress (or both.)
Weirdly as I sat earlier trying to watch tv and unwind, I chanced upon a hospital programme. For a split second as I saw them on the hospital bed I experienced a brief episode of 'spinning' vertigo but it did not even last a second...and it felt almost imagined.
I'm sorry if this makes me sound completely mad
My anxiety over my woozyness has come back as this week I know my GP should be phoning at some point to see how I am doing. I've begun to focus on it again and today I felt myself once again fearing a deadly illness or brain tumour.
I pulled my mind away from it and mentally told myself no, that I need to just get over feeling so tired.... Does this make sense to anyone?
Last night my left ear (this very inner part,) felt like it had fluid in it again which has left my ears aching a little occasionally.
It's as if the doctor checking up has made my mind focus on it again when before it made me feel comforted that they would ring.
I'm currently trying to relax. If I were more relaxed I would probably sleep - but I feel myself poised as if in ready for battle again.
.....I just wanted to share, really. I hope no one minds my waffling.
Wishing you all well
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