Anxiety, depression, depersonalisation?? What is happening to me?

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Hi there, I am 20 years old and currently at university. I apologise in advance if there are any grammatical errors, I'm just so worried and want to get to the bottom of this ASAP..My whole life I've always been happy and never had any real issues until about 2 months ago, I randomly had some sort of panic attack for no reason.. And at first it was horrible but a day or two later I felt absolutely fine. But since then my mental health had just gone down hill.. It started off as just anxiety every so often.. It wasn't nice, but I dealt with it.. It then came back but with depression. It was horrible, I felt so empty and I couldn't look forward to anything. I was just getting through the day. But that only lasted about 4 days and I felt fine again for another 5 days until I went to revise for my summer exams. One tiny question stressed me out and I had a huge panic attack.. I've only got high once in my life before (weed) but it felt like all of a sudden I became high, my mind was racing, I didn't feel real, I felt so depersonalised, which is the worst feeling ever! I woke up the next day not feeling right and haven't done for the past 3 days.. The weirdest thing is that I'll be concentrating on my work and my eye site will go really strange and I'll feel like I'm not real and everything will feel really bright.. I've only had this for a few days so I cannot think to imagine what it would be like for someone to have that for weeks months or years! I've been to th doctors and nurses and none of them seem to care or have the answers! Any reply will be appreciated so much! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

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  • Posted

    Hello,

    I suffered from Depersonalisation and anxiety after taking drugs a few years ago.

    It is incredibly scary but will pass, it sounds like your is not chronic which is a good sign. What Depersonalisation is is a symptom of anxiety. You get worried that it is going to happen and then that will start to bring it on, you get more worried and then that makes it even worse. What you should do is just accept that it is happening, that it is just a symptom of anxiety and that it will pass. The thing you say about suddenly feeling high......... you are not getting high at all, the mind is very powerful and so if you start worrying about being high, your mind will trick you into thinking you are- it really is just the mind playing tricks on you........ I know when I had a similar thing to this I was terrified that I would loose my mind, and that it would never go away. You will not loose your mind! It will absolutely pass with time! One thing I would avoid is reading forums etc online...... I made a promise when i was going through DP that I would come back after I had fully recovered to help people out who have it. However, the majority of the people talking to you will still be suffereing from it- therefore you will only get negative impressions, if you keep reading stuff online you will come to believe that this is a really dangerous thing, but that is just because the people who have recovered from it usually forget about it and wont be online giving advice. 

    What you have to remember when you feel that empty feeling, is that it is not real- DP is the minds way of protecting you from negative emotions, but in doing that it also stops positive emotions coming in as well! the best thing you can say to yourself is 'This is only temporary', 'This will pass'. - just repeat that to yourself when you are feeling vulnerable.

    I've had many friends suffer with what you have, a sort of passing on and off DP and every single one of them is fine now. Its very common for people who are at university, because when you move away from home you sort of loose a slight sense of who you are. 

    Dont worry about Doctors, they are not very knowledgeable about this scary condition, and that is because it is not actually dangerous, it feels really really sh*t, I know- the worst feeling, impossible to describe unless you have been through it yourself. But it is not dangerous and it will pass.

    My advise to you, as somebody who has recovered from very severe DP and anxiety is to find yourself a clinical psychologist. If you can afford it, find a private one! if not try to get one through the NHS. Also, depending on your relationship with your parent,  obviously I cannot safely advise- but if they love you, and care for you, tell them exactly what you are going through. They wont understand of course, but its such a relief to share your pain, a problem shared is a problem halved.

    In the mean time, exercise is key- your body will be pumping a lot of adrenaline around, this is why your vision is fussy, you need to burn it off, so get running, and join a gym........

    Also, its very important to cut out caffine and it makes a big difference cutting down on the amount of sweets and chocalate you eat. You might crave them more than ever as an escape- but they just add to the problem. 

    Also, get some Omega 3 fish tablets, they are great for the mind.

    I have researched anxiety and DP extensively and if you have any more questions or would like any more advise please let me know. 

    P.s. DP was the best thing that ever happened to me, my recovery from it has made me so much more confident and happy and hopefully the same will be true for you.

    I hope this ramble helps slightly

    good luck and message me if you need any more advise. 

     

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    • Posted

      It will definitely help, I assure you! And as I said yesterday through inbox, I can't thank you enough for your great and detailed advice..

      Thankfully and luckily my girlfriend, family and friends have been good at supporting me, although just like you said, none of them seem to quite understand quite what it's like! So I felt quite alone with this but you've shown me that other people are going through this too. However I would not wish this upon anyone!

      But anyway, thanks a lot mate, much appreciated!

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  • Posted

    Hi Charlie, The worest thing with mental illnes is getting yourself 'heard'. You have expressed yourself clearly in what you have written, Print it and take it back to a different doctor. I'm presuming you are registered with the Uni. doctor. Have you a friend there who you can talk with, that can go come with you? If they don't have the answers then you need to be reffered to someone who does know. Insit on this. The sooner you can get the right help the quicker this can be controlled. If the stress of the exams is getting to you then talk to your tutors now, Show them what you have written and maybe they will help you. Its hard to admitt that you have mental health problems but the worse thing you can do is keep it to yourself don't care about what others think. You have to put yourself first now. You are young man and have a whole future ahead of you once this it's treated ,it will be there for you.
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    • Posted

      Hi Barbara, thanks very much for your reply! I have a counselling session tomorrow so hopefully that will be a big help! But yes I will definitely take your advice and get as much help as soon as possible!

      All the best

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  • Posted

    Hi Charlie, glad to hear that you have something planned for tomorrow. Make sure that there will be follow up sessions with someone. It's not a big deal if you have to take a year out to get yourself sorted. Your health comes first.You have the whole of your life to get yourself back on track.

    Best Wishes

    Barbara

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