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Anxiety/ depression. Giving up.

Posted , 3 users are following.

Anonymo
Anonymo

Hi all, i have suffered from anxiety since i was 14 (GAD) i am 21. I was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago. I was in denial and wouldn't except it after many odd symptoms. But the last couple of months i have to agree there diagnosis was correct. I am in a downward spiral. I see no light. I feel like giving up.

I am going through a divorce from my abusive ex husband. Selling my home. I am lucky enough to have found love again. However, my anxiety stems from my new partner. I cannot accept that he loves me, i wont believe him. I am terrified he will leave me. He tells me over and over that he will never leave , but it wont do. And im ashamed of it. Its a vicious circle. We then argue and then i panic because wev argued and it goes on. I love him so much it hurts.

I cry everyday. Im never happy. I have a constant lump in my throat. Its bringing him down. Which panics me more. I tried to look at it from another point of view and googled ' girlfriend has anxiety' the advice given was to run. Which added fuel to the fire.

I self harm. It makes him mad. But its the only relief. The past week i have been having suicidal thoughts. I serious cant cope anymore.

Please help.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Wings_of_the_Pegasus
    Wings_of_the_Pegasus Anonymo

    Posted

    A divorce at 21 well theirs half the problem only thing you should be doing at 21 is either more studying or looking for a job marriage though is not one of them an why anyone thinks marriage in you teens or whe your 18 is a good idea i'll never know.

    Enough beliling you though now me ive had depression for 21 years ever since i was 10 all though i wasnt officially diagnosed until a few years ago but ive never been one for self harming as i just dont see the point as it dont really do anything except leve scars if you wanto self harm then get a ruler and whack your knuckles or an elastic band on your wrist.

    As for the stuff with the new bf i gotta say that you need to try an trust him but only if he earns it but i have those same fears about anyone who i date but i dont let my fears control me i control them unforunately their aint a magic button you can press an it took me 5 years of just excepting that most gils will cheat on you and most aint worth piing on if their on fire but for every 9 bad apples theirs 1 golden apple but ou still nd to come to terms with what you got an how iaffects you before you can conquer it.

    Take me ive pretty much come to terms that im going to die alone in a bed surrounded by strangers after living a life of hoping for the best expecting the worst that way if anything or anyone good comes along its a bonus but if another bad apple comes along then its no sweat of my back.

  • kennybhoy
    kennybhoy Anonymo

    Posted

    Sounds like you're seriously ill,what medicine are you taking?

    You must see a psychiatrist immediately!, and quit the self harming, that could led to worse things, as for your relationship...,Google was the worst thing you could have done, stear clear of googling, it only messes with you

  • Anonymo
    Anonymo

    Posted

    Thanks for the replies so far, i was on sertraline for a year. I stopped taking it about 6months ago. It made me numb and changed who i was. There has to be a better way than pills. I agree that googling is the worst thing to do... Ever for anything.
    • kennybhoy
      kennybhoy Anonymo

      Posted

      Some people feel ashamed of taking pills, but we have an illness and medication is required, you must go and talk to a doctor, sometimes we think we can manage but can clearly we can not, and in your case I think medication is essensial, just my opinion, I've been on meds for more than 10 years now and it took me a good 5 years to accept that I needed them,I lost several relationships because of denial, medication saved my life

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