Anxiety Disorder-Feels like my life has been stolen

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi All, 

I can really use some encouraging words. Sucess stories, advice, Tips. 

Here is my story

I have always been an anxious person. Never seemed to bother me much. This past year has been a whirlwind for me. Filled with great things and lots of stress. I met an AMAZING MAN . After 3 months of of Dating we moved in together to New York City (Stress Capital of the world). It was great.  We are like 2 peas in a pod! After 6 months he proposed!! My life couldnt get any better! Than the wedding planning started. We had a small wedding in his parents backyard. My mom is an alcoholic and felt "left out" so tried to sabatoge my wedding. She made big scenes at the wedding- embarassed me than walked out half way through (because she was drunk and mad with one of my cousins)OH and the lady who did my dress alterations ruined my dress the day before so I wore a $20 sundress.... After the wedding we decided to move out of NYC. A month later we found a house. Anything that could go wrong went wrong with buying this house. On top of that my best friend who works at an animal shelter said they were going to "put to sleep" this 6 month old puppy because the shelter had no room...My husband and I agreed to take him.. SO STRESSFUL!! So at this point I was married for a month, in the process of buying a house, got a puppy and had not talked to my parents. There was a huge overlap because our closing date got delayed.. So we were living on friends couches for 2 weeks with our new puppy- and 2 cats. Finally on November 12, 2013 we got to move into our house. My husband drove the truck and I drove our car..... THAN IT HAPPENED.... While driving through NYC over the Whitestone Bridge... A PANIC ATTACK.. I had no idea what it was or what was happening to me. I called my husband and he assured me I was ok. I felt like I was dying. I felt like I wasnt real. I felt crazy. Ever since that day I havent been able to "kick it". Ive been to 5 different therapists, countless doctors and they all say "its anxiety". I know that now but how do I make this living HELL go away? I feel unreal, distant, scared, sad, panicy, tired..... 

8 Weeks ago I finally gave in and went on Celexa.... It has gotten rid of some of my physical symptoms- Lump in throat, sinking chest, twitch in eye.. I am still having panic attacks and feel detached from the world in a constant state of fear. I love my husband and my life so much. BUT this is so hard to deal with!! Has anyone else been through stress that leads to anxiety? How did you get through it? I dont want to be like this forever sad

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    hi lyn i suffer from health aniexty for a year and i tryed everytin under the sun meds therepy accunpunture reflexogly all to no avail i had panic attacks everyday headaches aswell i taught i had everthing from tumors to anerysm then i decided to to hypnosis 7 days ago and i have been panic and headache free i feel great fingers crossed it will last ive 3 more sessions of hypnosis left to make it last give it a go uve notin to lose xx
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  • Posted

    Oh, I'm stunned!  You held it together through this whole cluster___! I would have lost it long before you did.  You cannot continue that holding it all in because the being-on-edge, adrenaline producing strains your body.  Something had to give and it was you.  Some great things you have going for you:  you are not going it alone, financially you have insurance to cover this care, you have a heart big enough to rescue a poor puppy and MARRIED someone who shares your passion!  You have friends who care about you and would not only allow you to sleep on their couches, but put up with the cats and puppy, too.  The most clinically important thing you have going for you is that this is not "free floating anxiety" and you do NOT have Anxiety Disorder.  Your body and emotional state could not take anymore and you just "blew a fuse!"  It is known exactly what caused you to react.  Everything you suffered through has been suffered through by others.  But not one after the other.  In my experience, and I have been a psych nurse in both State, Correctional and Private psych hospitals (retired for long while now) you need stress free rest, short term anti-anxiety course of meds, and a therapist you can trust to help you prioritize each negative thing that happened and what you did about it, if anything could have been done differently, and what you can do about it now.  I'm actually cheering for you because you will move past this relatively quickly and have a wonderful life to look forward to.  All my best wishes for your marriage and a very happy life!
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    • Posted

      Hi All, 

      thanks so much for your kind replies. I feel like your words have helped me more than my doctors. I looked into hypntherapy and found one in my town! I will try that this week.. 

      I also left out two important things about my anxiety-

      first is at the end of last November (right after we moved) I was in the hospital with a 103 fever and blisters in my mouth. The doctors said that it was 100% stress related.Secondly I am a teacher and havent been able to get a job since we moved here 8 months ago. I have done some random substitute teaching but have had no sort of routine since we moved and lots of time on my hands. 

      As for meds: I was on 20 mg. of prozac for 1 1/2 months and did nothing. 

      8 Weeks ago I switched to Celexa. It has helped me with my physical symptoms but I am still having random panic attacks and can not kick the feeling of being "unreal" or in a dream like state and I hate that the most. Any advice on meds?

      Thanks again to all that replied!

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  • Posted

    Hi Lyn.  This was just your body's way of saying 'I've had enough. I need a break.'  All that pent up emotion came out in one go.  I had a really stressful job and by the end of it I was having panic attacks and couldn't even go into a supermarket without freaking out - I had to grab something, go to the till really quickly and get out of there.  I ended up changing jobs to something a lot less stressful and it changed my life.  All the stress at work was just building up in the same way that all the things in your life have been.  I would recommend, now that you're in your new house, trying to get your life into a routiene and make sure you make time for things you enjoy.  Only you know what that will be but whether it's running, playing an instrument, knitting or baking cakes, really focusing on something outside yourself means your brain has time to recharge.  For me painting really helped - arty stufff was best but to be honest even redecorating a room would just let me switch off for a while.  You could also try mindful meditation (if you haven't heard of it Google it as there's loads of stuff about it) as this helps bring you into the moment rather than letting your mind go over and over all the things that have happened or might happen.  It will get better, just be kind to yourself and don't expect too much too soon. 
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  • Posted

    Hi All, 

    thanks so much for your kind replies. I feel like your words have helped me more than my doctors. I looked into hypntherapy and found one in my town! I will try that this week.. 

    I also left out two important things about my anxiety-

    first is at the end of last November (right after we moved) I was in the hospital with a 103 fever and blisters in my mouth. The doctors said that it was 100% stress related.Secondly I am a teacher and havent been able to get a job since we moved here 8 months ago. I have done some random substitute teaching but have had no sort of routine since we moved and lots of time on my hands. 

    As for meds: I was on 20 mg. of prozac for 1 1/2 months and did nothing. 

    8 Weeks ago I switched to Celexa. It has helped me with my physical symptoms but I am still having random panic attacks and can not kick the feeling of being "unreal" or in a dream like state and I hate that the most. Any advice on meds?

    Thanks again to all that replied!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Same kinda story did you find help

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    • Posted

      Hi Micheal. 

      I haven't been on this site in over 3 years. I randomly got an email alert that you messaged on this board. After a miserable 2 years, yes I found help... LEXAPRO... I am still on it and I feel like the best version of myself... Everyone told me my anxiety will fade and I will find something that works and I never believed them. But I can assure you that you will be ok!!! I promise. I started at 5 mg. of lexapro and - it gets worse before it gets better. The lexapro made me feel more anxious but I stuck with it. After about 6 weeks I was sooo  much better. 

      I had no side effects on lexapro except for a little weight gain but I dont care. I feel so good. 

      You will find help and you will be ok!!! 

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