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So I have this very odd anxiety that if I say something, even if I don't want it to happened, it's going to happen. Like I'm afraid if I say "I'm going to die" that I'm actually going to die. Or of I say," she lied to me" that somehow, even if she didn't lie, it will be that she did lie. I know that I can't make things that are true false by saying they're false and I can't make thinks that are false, true by saying they're true. It's more that I'm afraid something out there, whether it's God or the universe or something else, is gonna make those things happens. What makes me especially anxious is when I ask for something to happen and I misspeak and accidentally ask for something to happen that I actually don't want to happened. It's not exactly a prayer, but sometimes when I want something I'll just kinda send out a little message, not really to anything or anyone in particular. Like if I'm going to take a particularly hard test I'll say something like ,"please make it so I'll get an A". But if I accidentally misspeak and say "please make it so I'll get a B" I become afraid that the world, maybe it's God maybe it's not, will make it so I get a B. I don't know why I'm afraid of this. I was raised in a non-religious household. I suffer from other anxiety problems, but have them under control and have seen professionals. This is the one anxiety that I haven't told anyone about and it's getting out of control.
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