Anxiety increasing again. Any advice???

Hi Paula,

Thanks for the response.

It is a horrible phobia I agree, i've only found 1 other person so far who also has it so not so common i suspect either.

I'm a little flip side with the med's review if i'm honest, firstly because i've been on the meds for 3 years now and my Dr only saw me once 2 weeks after i started and again when i decided to up my dose so not sure if this is all going according to plan or not??

secondly i'm scared if i go back some jumped up man in a white jacket will try change my meds or change something......I'm very adverse to change lol.

I don't know whats initially caused the rise in anxiety, works not been going great but i'm used to high stress environments, been with the same company for 5 and a half years now so if anything i'd say i'm used to it i think?? but i do know what may have triggered it to get worse over the past 2 nights and it's so stupid as a couple of words, my boyfriend and i were arguing about doing more things recently and he states "You only live once" ..... I know he doesn't know the impact of such unimportant words, or i hope he doesn't......but these few words hit me like a wrecking ball, my heart immediately started pounding and my mind racing, panic mode set in but nothing on the outside to show because of the propranolol.

i know thats why these past 2 nights have been anxiety city in my head but i can't pinpoint why it actually started.

Read a statement by someone a few days ago, can't recall if it was on here or not, just saying that Venlafaxine lost it's effectiveness with her and that made me worried that's what's happening to me, hope not anyway, don't know what i'd do without my medication, haunts me to remember what i was like without it.

care to expand on cardiophobia?? not heard that one before and always looking to expand my knowledge base.....ie brain  

thanks again for the response.

D x

p.s i have family, friends and sometimes the fella's support but i hate to bother them.

Don't like them to know i'm a nervous wreck really, better for all.

 

Ur very welcome Danielle. Yes I know what u mean. I get sick of hearing about my anxiety lol. Cardiophobia is an intense fear of heart disease/attacks and ur constantly on high alert for pains and stuff. Had it for 27 years. It's ruined my life. I'm really sensitive to meds so have given up on them and not found one that works anyway. Saying that I took dutonin 20 yrs ago and that was amazing but they banned it as it caused liver failure. Typical!! Ur meds can stop working as well after years of taking. I used to be a care manager for learning disabilities and the clients often had to get med reviews as they developed a tolerance to the meds and they became ineffective..😏

ha Paula, small world, I AM a Team Leader in a home for learning disabilities and attend some of the client's med's reviews. what are the chances.

i've just read up a little on it, that sounds aweful too, to be constantly worried about the one organ that essentially keeps you alive....i couldn't even start to imagine.

I can relate to the whole disliking the feel of your own heartbeat bit, when i was just starting with my fear i'd perposley reposition if i could feel my heartbeat at all, now it's more tolerable and i try treat it like background noise.

how are you sensitive to med's if i may ask?

It's a shame you've not found any that work for you, but in a way that's why i'm sort of desperately clinging onto mine and have a little anxiety over someone telling me i have to change and have no choice.

They always ban the good drugs...err i mean medication.

they gave me Diazepam when i was basically manic with panic attacks, best thing since bloody sliced bread, highly addictive, i can see why, and Doc said i wasn't allowed any more after 7 day's worth that i subsiquently took in 4 days..........very very bad panic attacks.

I hope 3 years isn't a knock out phase for venlafaxine, seen some people on here coming off them after 10 years but everyones different......maybe i'm just worrying too much.

D x

Ooh yes!! I was in hospital for two weeks in Feb suffering from withdrawal from diazapam! My doc been prescribing it to me on a regular basis for last 8 yrs. Was awful and been told that's what's been making me so much worse. I get terrible side effects from just about any medication I've tried and I don't think there's much left for me to try and tbh don't really want to go there again as just like putting a plaster on. Wouldn't mind if they made me feel normal. The phobia is terrible and I move about as well lol. I now know why ur jobs stressful 😏 I gave it up and went down to support worker but the anxiety kicked in big style so I'm now on long term sick for the first time in my life. So fed up.

wow, can't believe he had you on them for so long, they're supposed to mess with your natural ability to produce seratonin aren't they?? 

bad bad doctor. They really f**k you over sometimes. Intentional or not you should be able to sew over something like that, i've read a lot of comments on this site about people who's lives have been really messed up over things like perminently prescribing Benzo's for long periods, sure it should be medical misconduct or substance abuse or something.

I can sympathise with you about these meds not allowing you to feel 'normal' instead of an emotionless zombie, i tell you i dont know half of what i'm feeling these days or why i feel that way?? just a big rollercoaster that i can't and don't really want to get off.

i can't sympathise with trying umpteen drugs, i've only ever tried Citalopram which messed me up beyond belief and the Venlafaxine. But i do feel for you, must feel pretty hopeless knowing that nothing's helped you so far.

if it makes you feel any better i had to have a month off when i first went on meds due to my panic attacks being so severe, i felt just as you do but a bit more .... well panicky i guess lol.

Don't know how long you've been off for but i know it's no fun.

See it's not so much that i don't like my position at my workplace, i value the instability and learning curvs that go with day to day normal activities and i like the sense of responsibility, i however hate, with a pasion, my staff team and just want to change homes, Right now they are the instability in my life. If i can't changed homes then i guess a new job is in order.

something similar though.....love my job  

 

Yeah I always loved my job but the final stress was I discovered my line manager financially abusing the men to the tune of over a hundred grand. We were due an inspection front cqc and blew the whistle.It was a nightmare and the investigation lasted 8 months and he lied and said I'd made it up as he'd rebuked my advances towards him and I'd been sexually harrassing him. Not. Anyway he got sacked I didn't. BUT on top of all that I was sick of trying to motivate staff and think a lot of people just do it cos it's easy money and don't care enough. Too much abuse going on now and not enough caring people. I've been left work for 18 months 😖 Wouldn't care but the benzos only worked to get me off to sleep but my anxiety always through the roof. I used to be so organised even with my anxiety but for a long time now I just have to muddle through the day and do what I can. Been told from one company I have a 50/50 chance of suing but will try others

oh my goodness, you'de never think it though would you, that someone was capeable of any abuse until you see it for yourself.....just shocking tbh, and a line manager at that.

good for you for blowing the whistle though, some physical abuse has been highlighted at one or two of our homes through wistle blowing, good policy, obviously they were sacked and lawsuits etc etc.

all down to a select few just in it for the money. I wouldn't mind but it's not even great money lol.

as if he tried to turn it all round on you like that though, shameless i say and a coward. glad it all turned right in the end.

I hear you about motivating staff.....seems like half my job is to remind people, who are fully aware of their job role, why they should like their job.......i mean nursery school teacher or what.

18 months, long long time, i'm sorry to hear that, i know it can't be easy.

Well at least the benzo's were doing something for you i guess in one respect.....i was on cloud 9 and still floating upwards, and was sound asleep for the first time in days after taking, with advice, 4 x 2mg tabs. totally amazeing.

but i guess, like we were saying before, it's all about your body's resistance and how long you've been taking them. this was a one time thing for me so got full effectiveness after 1st day.

i heed the same advice, try take each day as it comes, it's when i start thinking about the future that my anxiety decides to rear it's ugly head.

as if all you got was 50/50, bit shocking if i'm honest, not you're fault they're always saying follow your Docs advice and never stopp meds unless advised by you Doc......ergo all his stupid fault. 

 

Yeah Danielle, the money's crap lol. Still a lovely job though. Not really like working. How hard can it be getting people to go to The Metro Centre for shopping, cinema and lunch? lol they'd rather sit on the couch on their phones all day! Anyway hopefully when I get better I'll have to look for something new. Yeah benzodiazepines are definitely not the way forward and I'd keep away from them

Urgh I know, ban phones them and they still find ways and are stupid enough to get caught aswel. I swear it's more a chill out area than work sometimes. Does my head in.

I've never heard of that phobia, but it sure seems like I'm dealing with that right now. I had a very scary episode Friday. I was driving my daughter to school and I started having a bad achiness in my thumb...I started rubbing it and then was getting ready to start taking ibuprofen, but I started to feel strange and the strange feeling which felt like I was either going to faint or die scared me so i I started freaking out. I pulled into a parking lot and I jumped out of the car and asked a man who was coming out of a building to please stay with us for a minute because I didn't know if it was a panic attack or something more serious. My tongue and the roof of my mouth were completely numb. I went to urgent care and the dr who was extremely young didn't seem to know much about anxiety. He told me I didn't have many of the classic symptoms. They did an ekg and that came out normal. He advised me to go to ER to make sure I wasn't having a stroke or heart attack. I was with my aunt who has been a nurse for over 35urs and she seemed to think it was a severe panic attack so we didn't go to the ER. Now I'm terrified that maybe it was a warning for a heart attack coming or a stroke. I'm obsessing over this. I.am going to call the dr tomorrow and go in for a check up, but in the meantime I'm obsessing and looking up symptoms online and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Ahh that def sounds like a panic attack! Quite a severe one. I've been totally paralysed before and have had ones where one side of my face has gone numb. Very typical. Mine was triggered by hearing about someone young dying of a heart attack and because I already had anxiety and had niggly chest pains and other symptoms it just blew up big style. It's horrendous

OMG. That just happened to me. And it scared the crap out of me. But it may have been because I had a strong drink a few minutes prior. 

I didn't have a strong drink, so I don't know. But it scares me and makes me think my heart is going to explode.

I get that and it can take my breath away for a second. When I get really scared I drink but know I shouldn't. Just can't bear the feeling of sheer terror

No my heart doesn't skip a bit it just thuds really hard in my chest to the point where I can't ignore it, really frustrating when you're trying to calm yourself down and there's this big reminder you can't do anything about.

It's all anxiety though Danielle and it frustrates the hell out of me when I keep getting told to manage it and reduce it with breathing, relaxation and distractions. It doesn't quite work when u have a heart phobia as u think something imminent is gonna happen. It's a living nightmare 😭😭

Even though I don't have a heart phobia I do know that a thudding heart can make my death phobia go into overdrive so can empathise with you on that point.

I just can't imagine if it affects my death phobia like that then it must drive you insane and I truly feel for you.

I think a thudding heart works me up so much because that was also a precursor to a panic attack before I started taking beta blockers so in a way my body is trying to jump ahead of itself but it can't.

I wouldn't wish a panic attack on my worst enemy, especially one you can't do anything about, like hell on earth.

I was referred by my doctor for CBT and I went to the first session which was only an introductionary to the group sessions we would attend, after that they had to change premises and ,like any true Thanatophobic, I don't particularly deal with change well and so over fear because I didn't know where the next location was I didn't go, I know it was really stupid and I should have just bit the bullet and given it a go to try find it but i just couldn't. Do you think my doctor would refer me again if I asked?? Or is it like a one time thing?. I'm scared he will think I'm just wasting his time or I'm not worth it but I really do want to help myself to ,in some way, deal with this better than I am.

It does drive me insane Danielle. I've been in hospital 3 times with it and have attempted suicide twice and feel I'm trapped. All the while knowing how irrational I'm being but it's like I'm possessed by these stupid to thoughts that have stolen my life from me. Cbt didn't work at all for me and I did 12 sessions and she actually agreed it wasn't worth finishing the other four. Having said that, it's either my phobia is too overbearing and needs something more intense or she was crap or maybe a bit of both. I do know people cbt has worked for. It's different strokes for different types fokes I think

I have that kind of heartbeat

Oh gosh as if it's come to that Paula you poor thing 😧

I have absolutely no quality of life anymore without my phobia playing every part it can to stop me enjoying life which is kind of ironic seeing as my phobia is about my life being over.

It's absolute torture, in your own head 😢

I have thought about ending my own life, to just get my fear over and done with. But I never have the heart to go through with it.....because of my phobia......if that's not stupid I don't know what is. Can't end it and can't live my life 😩

I have the same feeling that's what they would say to me in the end, that CBT just wouldn't work for me. So what's after that??? What do they offer you when CBT doesn't work??

I've read both about people it's worked for and people it hasn't so I'm very very dubious about it all.

It's pure torture.

Hi Dannie..I started nlp Mon but have another few sessions yet. It specifically aimed at my phobia. Cbt didn't work for it as it wasn't just about preventing a panic attack and it's just so hard to even breathe. I had horrible pains yesterday and on a downward spiral now. Gonna have a glass of wine and go to bed. I'll end up an alcoholic and end it when I'm drunk. I'm really coming to the end of the line. Physically and mentally burnt out. Supposedly starting CAT therapy in May as well whatever good that'll do x

It is Kayla. I've cried all day with feeling frightened and thinking all sorts is happening to my heart. Can't do much longer 😭😭

What's nlp and CAT????

Please don't feel like that Paula. However bad it gets its never worthe ending it.

Just remember if you ever need anyone to talk to just Private message me and we will get through it.

Im always here for you

Hang in there. My anxiety was really, really bad, at first... I didn't think I would make it, but gradually, I've learned to be patient with it. You can't fight it off; that'll only make it worse. You just have to "try" to relax. I hope you get to feeling better. 

Thank u Kayla. I don't think I can anymore. It's been a long long battle. I've won many but feel I'm losing the war 😭😭

Please hang in there Paula sweetie. honestly it will get better eventually.

Everyone has up and really down days.

please keep getting support from here and call on me whenever you need.

You're most welcome. (: