Anxiety is running my relationships, HELP!

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Basically I'm an 18 year old lesbian who's still in the closet and has been suffering with anxiety since I was 4. In September a girl from my class last year and I started speaking online and we became close very quickly. As I have anxiety I find it very difficult to spend time with her and one of my symptoms is being afraid to eat in front of people. Because of this I avoid meeting up with her a lot and always tell her I'm busy. Since February we have become girlfriend and girlfriend despite only seeing her only 3 times outside college and me being in the closet. I'm scared that me always been "busy" aka me being so anxious to see her will ruin our relationship even though I'm very much in love with her. I want to get rid of my fear of eating in front of people but I don't know how and I want to be confident in spending time with her before she leaves for university. I can't discuss this with my parents or sister as they don't know I'm gay and I don't know where to get help.

Any advice?

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  • Posted

    Hi Anne, I'm sorry you're suffering anxiety, it can effect every area of your life. I've suffered with it since childhood and always tried to hide it cause it's hard to describe and most people don't understand. Perhaps being up front with your new friend would be the best route. If she understands what you're dealing with then maybe it will even bring you both closer. Just a suggestion, it's a tough condition to live with. Take care.

    Brian

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  • Posted

    how would your parents feel about you being gay?
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  • Posted

    I used to feel weird eating in front of people, esp if I'm eating n they're staring at me. If both of us are eating then I feel better.

    I'm also a lesbian and I'm 28 n closeted. So far I've had 6heartbreaks, my relationships never last. I struggle with depression n now anxiety+health anxiety.

    If you think you're folks won't mind you being gay then tell them. For me it's not so easy, I so desperately wanna come out. But currently I'm totally dependent on the people I think will turn on me if they knew.

    I plan to come out soon as I'm stable enough to be ok alone if I get kicked out n ridiculed. My bff thinks one reason I'm so depressed is because I'm closeted and living a lie takes a lot of effort.

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