ANXIETY my ongoing story

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from confident outgoing bodybuilder who never worried about anything to lazy overweight shy borderline agoraphobic suffering from severe anxiety and the road back!(a work in progress)

ill try to keep this short in hope this provides some support to anyone who is new to anxiety and is worried about symptoms remember you are not alone there are many great members on these forums so be sure to have a good look around and dont be afraid to post.

i wasnt diagnosed with anxiety straight away it was only my constant trips to the doctors over insect bites, feeling strange and what might this be doctor?mentality that it was suggested i might have anxiety to which i laughed off as absurd.(looking back now classic anxiety symptoms)

then unfortunately my mother passed away and from nowhere i went from feeling strange to developing full blown health anxiety i became emotional and everytime i felt bad strange or a physical sensation or even watched a cancer/disease advert on tv i had to lay down,this resulted in laying down all the time and not seeking help because i was too embarassed(not a good idea as doing nothing will make you feel worse and just fuel more anxiety)i prodded and poked at every spot this just made me worse and more anxious to the point i spent most of my time laying on the sofa!

anxiety can produce so many symptoms most of which i was getting.

i became withdrawn irritable and didnt want to go out.

while all this was going on i still hadnt approached the doctor for any help(dumbass).

i then started feeling like i had something stuck in my throat and kept shoving my fingers in there to see if i could feel anything(yep classic dumbass)i sat around thinking about what if and worst case scenario to the point i made my doctor refer me for a biopsy(all clear),

then i developed backache and felt like i couldnt breathe properly all day anyone with anxiety knows what im about to say(lol?)and so the cycle repeats i had x-rays blood tests ecg etc ,guess what?yep all clear.anxiety can drastically increase muscle tension and make you feel short of breath all dayfrown(another classic symptom)depending on your level of anxiety,some anxiety sufferers can have some or all symptoms of anxiety in varying levels,link to anxiety and shortness of breath/breathing

if you have anxiety its also possible to have shortness of breath even when youre not feeling anxious.thats beacuse anxiety can alter the way you breathe and cause hyperventilation without any triggers.(yeh it sucks)

enough is enough i bit the bullet and signed up for CBT(therapy)i started taking citalopram and found myself glossing the downstairs toilet at 4 in the morning?!cheesygrinmy doctor switched me to syrtraline and i felt ok the breathlessness went away and i wasnt bothered anymore as much,then i made the biggest mistake of all i felt better so i must be ok now yeh?i decided to come off them........ .im not saying medication works for everyone but for me it definately helped,while im sitting here typing this i still feel restricted around my chest like im unable to take a full breath but i can and even though my tests are all clear because of anxiety i still find it hard to beleave what im told,i dont like violence but i wish i could punch anxiety in the face.im starting citalopram again today beacuse coming off tablets has sent me backwards,alltho i might change this to syrtaline when i check in with the doctor next week,

thats is if i put every detail of my entire anxiety story in here the admins will probably bollock me for server useageloland i still have so much more to share.

remember anxiety sufferers you arent alone, dont be afraid to seek help you will get better it just takes time .

stay away from web m.d dr google etc they wont help and stop checking the internet for for symptoms if you have been diagnosed with anxiety.

 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    I am in the same boat my friend I had a LOT go on last year both physically and emotionally and at this point (and plenty of Dr visits) the only thing I can attribute it to is stress, anxiety and depression. I had no idea that these could cause so many physical symptons like you I laughed at the idea of anxiety being the culprit. I have brain fog, back(lower and upper pain), rashes, thirst, hunger, pulsating tinnitus and I often wake up in the middle of the night geeling like I cant swallow. I donr like going out anymore I just sit on the couch watching Netlix and I go to bed at like 8 even though I never get a full night sleep as I always wake up several times. I have also lost interst in everything I used to enjoy but I still keep pushing myself to ho to the gym but I joticed my cardiovascular endurance has suffered horribly as I am always so tired. My doc put muly on Luvox as I have become OCD and something to help me sleep (helps the itching as well). I just want to feel normal again not just for myself but for my childrens sake as well as I know I have become a no fun grump.
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  • Posted

    All sounds very familiar to me im a 35 yo bodybuilder all started about 2 years ago just suddenly feeling a wave come over me lightheaded dizzy sweating i felt like i had to get out of there and go somewhere quiet to die lol, iv had all sorts of feelings and symptoms since then some really tough to handle, felt like i was really on the edge of what i could tolerate, like i was about to loose control, horrible feeling, iv had all sorts of anxiety health' aggrofobia etc, all 1 and the same thing, i was using propranolol but stopped about 2 months ago as i want to try and beat this without meds, trying to get my life bk on track, its hard, very hard, even today while training in the gym it was going well untill i had that familiar feeling come over me towards the end of my session the wave then the lightheaddedness, followed by that sudden urge to get out of there incase i collapsed, i found myself allmost running out of there leaving behind my milkshake and belt to get to my car and drive home to suffer it again, but i stopped just around the corner and said to myself no i have to go bk in there and not let this feeling rule my life so i took a minute tightened my boot straps and walked bk in the gym still a bit shakey and finished my sets and drank my milkshake, glad i did but still feeling a bit off for the rest of the day as the experience does tend to linger, but we must fight on.
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  • Posted

    day 2 of starting citalopram again,shortness of breath is wearing me out mentally,chin up move forward,

    start juicing again tomorrow

    yep i agree patsfan  anxiety can cause so many other physical symptoms it shocked me ,i look at my kids and i feel angry with myself.(bear with a sore head)

    paul123456789

    apparently 1 in 5 people in the uk suffer from some sort of mental illness and i use that term lightly as i dont like it,

    40 million americans suffer from same as above

    how i try to see it when im out is im not alone as if theres 20 people in an area at least 4 of em are the same as us in a way dunno if that helps but thats how i look at it,exposure to the things we avoid will help and for you to go to the gym if you suffer from anxiety is great,well done.

     

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    • Posted

      I can relate to your situation. The breathing in particular gets me the worst. As an asthmatic I am always uneasy if I think I can't breathe. And it became the cause of my anxiety rather than a symptom of it.

      I'm doing rebreathing training and meditation each day via a couple of cds that I downloaded, and our id's helping a lot so far... Good luck with your journey.

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  • Posted

    Thanks its good to know that we not alone far more ppl than we think suffer from this, i prefer to think of it along the lines of anorexia ' ppl can get over that and ppl have gotten over anxiety 2, i used to take a bit of this and that for the gym aswell but stopped it all about 10 months ago in an attempt to pin these symptoms down to something but now ten months later my symptoms persist and iv lost all my gains 2! Maybe il get bk on now at least il be big and mental lol, thanks guys best of luck.
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  • Posted

    yep! can totally relate. it took me many doctors appointments over every little thing and in the end im the one who figured it out when i had a breakdown just before my nana passed away. i had gone previously to the doctor i was a couple of years bavk who gave me medication and then when i went back told me to get over it! it snapped me out of it for a while but with many of my loved ones passing away recently and having two young children to fend for when im like this got too much. went back to the doctors, unfortunately was the same one as before. i mean dont get me wrong hes been doing tests when i had chest pain and that but he just looks at me like im a nut case!

    i have not been able to do much other than sit at home with my kids i can only drive my son to kindy and back and i managed to drive to my sisters the other day! i feel like ive lost myself in a BIG way and i feel like my kids are suffering for it.

    ive been on celepram which is cit 30mg for about 6 weeks now. what a journey im still down a bit but my chest pain has gone i was getting numbness in the face and neck, dizziness and ringing in the ears (dizziness pretty much gone but the ringing in the ears in still there) pain down my arms like i was having a heart attack. breathlessness which im still having. that choking feeling which has subsided but still scares me when i get it. and lately ive got a rash like redness on my arms and forearms and a bit on my legs not itchy just there. and i have been having diarrhea which i think is common but a pain in the a**.

    im hoping everything settles down i mean i feel ok but i feel like crying at the same time at the moment i never thought anxiety could rule your life like this! i just want to be me again and i know i am half way there!

    sorry for the long post sometimes you just need to vent!

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