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Anxiety over who I am

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AlyssiaAmethyst
AlyssiaAmethyst

So I've been getting very intense anxiety over the past 2 weeks and it's one thing after another.

I had a dream last night that I was a male. And I woke up quite confused with who I am and who I want to be.

Bare in mind I have never ever questioned who I am. I've always been very intune with my thoughts, feelings and identity. I embrace the thought of loving yourself. But recently my anxiety is making me wonder why my mind is fighting against me.

I've never been gender or sexually confused. I'm not sure whether waking up straight after the dream just made me confused the way you would still be angry at someone if they did something to you in a dream and you hold that emotion for awhile.

I woke up questioning myself. Looking at photos of myself. Am I happy being this feminine girl? I suppose that's all I was asking. I didn't have any thoughts about actually changing gender or thoughts about what I would look like as a male. I'm sure that's just anxiety again right? And silly uncontrollable thoughts again?

Not that I'm scared that I maybe gender confused. It was more of a shock of who I am when I woke up.

Has anyone else had a moment like this?

Also I've always been quite intune with my masculine side as well. I grew up quite a tom boy. I never liked the thought of a helpless little pretty female. I wanted to be a strong person.

Maybe because of all this sensitivity, emotions and anxiety it's gotten me away from my masculine side?

My Mother reckons I have been doubting myself a lot recently... Could the dream possibly just have made me more anxious about who I am?

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • cia42277
    cia42277 AlyssiaAmethyst

    Posted

    Dearest Alyssia, Isn't it quite enough that our waking thoughts can mess us up something terrible....now are we going to fret and worry about dreams. We all have dreams...and nightmares. Part of my counseling practice was the interpretation of dreams as related to clients current problem. I can tell you the dream was never about the obvious, never.

    Just throw this our with the rest of the trash our minds can put out. There are real everyday things to be solved and taken care of. Don't get sidetracked by dreams, sweetheart.

    • AlyssiaAmethyst
      AlyssiaAmethyst cia42277

      Posted

      I suppose you're right... Thank you. I feel as my day has gone on I haven't thought or worried about the dream. I've actually got other worries on my mind. A dream is just a dream, it shouldn't cause me worry.

      Thank you.

  • lynnann48124
    lynnann48124 AlyssiaAmethyst

    Posted

    Yes and No if you have had this on your mind. then your going to dream it.But I am a big fan Of I love Jazz. she was very fornuate to have money.Family.with money an TV show.when I was 13 I use to pretend play I was a boy.Its all growing up.Dont beat ur self up over a dream.and If u feel your a boy.Good Luck Hope ur making big money .Hugz n Love
    • AlyssiaAmethyst
      AlyssiaAmethyst lynnann48124

      Posted

      With the anxiety I'm suffering with, I'm the type of person that needs to be convinced that my anxious thoughts are in no way real to what I'm worrying about. I suppose sometimes I have to convince myself.

      I've had dreams similar before and never batted an eye, I think I just woke up worried because of my anxiety recently. I've felt fine and carried on my day as usual. I'm not gender confused, I'm confused with who I am because my anxiety is making me a person I'm not. I never day dream about being the opposite sex and I've never thought of it in an everyday situation.

      As much as I love dressing boy-ish sometimes, I'm happy being me and female.

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