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New to the forums but have browsed the site plenty.
I'm 40 & have suffered with anxiety to various extents for several years.
Currently take Sertraline 150mg & Pregabalin 600mg daily.
My Father is terminally ill & has a limited time remaining (treatment has stopped)
I support my Mum with care, often short notice or in the middle of the night. This can range from getting my Father off the floor to helping Paramedics move him.
My Father's condition changes daily. One day ok & aware of all that is going on, the next he's saying he believes this is "the end".
I work full time & put on a mask of happiness while I'm there.
My issue today, now, is that I'm supposed to be away in Europe (I live in the UK) for the weekend for a friends Birthday. I'm terrified.
I have all my usual pre panic attack symptoms. Dry mouth, rapid heart, trembling hands, nausea, shortness of breath, stammering etc.
I can't get to see my GP until this afternoon at the earliest & this is only if there's a cancellation.
I so want to back out of the weekend away. My mind is awash with conflict. Will I be able to enjoy the weekend whilst my Father is on my mind so much? If I went would a panic attack ruin it for me (this has happened on weekends away before)? How would I explain it to my friends? Not rational I know! I've even wished there was something physically wrong with me so I had a good excuse or the GP may say I'm not fit to fly (to be honest I'm really not sure I am!)
Would welcome any thoughts or advice. I just want to shut the world away.
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