Anxiety Taking Over My Life

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I've never posted on any of these forums i've only read through them and made analysis off of what other people post. I've decided to finally talk about how i feel.

When i was 21 one day i felt like I couldn't breathe. Like my chest was congested and I didn't understand why. I would smoke Marijuana and drink like a normal person would so i attributed it to that. Then i noticed my mind would go foggy. I couldn't remember things the way I always did and I have an excellent memory. I wasn't as into things as I normally was so of course I thought it was something extremely negative. I'm a hypochondriac of sorts so any little thing makes me think imminent death. 

It went away on its own and I didn't think much of it. Then when I was 25 it happened randomly one day and I my chest felt heavy again. It stayed for about a month or two then went away. The worst happened when I was 26. I'm not an avid drug user. I smoke marijuana when i get home from work and don't do serious drugs. Drink on the weekends etc. I had gone on a weekend trip and did a lot of running around bc I always feel that to enjoy life, I have to do everything. I came back and had the worst anxiety yet. I would cry every day thinking I was dying from Cancer. I felt debilitated. My stomach would act up and I had gastric Issues. I went to a gastroenterologist who said my spleen was mildly enlarged but i did not know why nor did he. 

The dr sent me to an oncologist and my mind started racing. I web MD everything and was reading the most horrible things. My blood pressure went up. I freaked out. Could barely sleep. When i went to the oncologist i started balling in front of her bc I didn't understand why me. She did extensive blood work and said I was fine that my cholesterol was high but that was it. She told me to relax and enjoy life. Then it went away and didnt come back until last year.

I went on a vacation to Seattle and had the worst anxiety/tension and the most horrific headaches. The foggyness was there i realize time goes by so extremely fast. I dont understand it but then i think that i'm not really focusing. My diet was not the best..I don't exercise. I'm sure everything attributed. I also work in retail and its a stressful environment. I went to a doctor again last year who did blood work..checked my thyroid which is in excellent condition. I stopped smoking MJ for 3 months and felt better but went back when i was feeling good.

Throughout the year i'll randomly feel dizzy at times. Lightheaded so to speak. I have bad Acid Reflux so i think it also is contributed to anxiety.  Not into things the way i once was. My brain is always going going going. I really just want it to stop. Im currently doing acupuncture with an asian doctor and getting massages as well as starting yoga and swimming. I can't live thinking I'm dying from a disease on a daily basis. I'm too young and happy (normally) to be going thru this. I wonder if others have my same issues.

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  • Posted

    Sounds like you are doing a lot of positive things to overcome how you are feeling. Have you ever been assessed for ADHD? It's probably not this, but the way you are describing your active mind it could be a combination of anxiety and a hyperactive kind of thing. I'd certainly consider stopping the marajuana usage as well. This seems to be something that triggers your negative feelings, and it's just really not worth it. Hope this helps xxx
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    • Posted

      Thank you amanda. Im a hyper person but never been looked at for adhd. I wouldn't doubt it. I agree i need to stop marijuana forever bc its like a safehaven i go back to that doesnt make things better. Im trying everything i can to not take pills and get rid of this naturally. I think it all came crashing at once and my body said i've had it. Slow me down and make me happy. Have a great day. 
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  • Posted

    you are worryiing too much about dying and its causes.  I know this is a hard habit to break but try to do enjoyable things and make the most of those events.  Don't cut your life to ribbons by worrying about imaginary illnesses.

    Richard

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    • Posted

      Im not a worrisome person Richarf until the anxiety comes. Im a really happy energetic fun outgoing random person until i feel debilitated by what starts happening. Its alot of stuff all at once and my body/brain does not know how to handle it. It always goes away but i never ever want it to come back. I just want to be normal.
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  • Posted

    I know this may sound a bit abrupt, but i really think you really need to try to come (and stay) off of the marijuana, I don't think it is doing you any good. I tried marijuana and it's variations many, many years ago, and the paranoia kick you can get (depends on the person) can be bad, and I mean really bad. Give it up and see how things go. You owe it to yourself, enough to find out.

     

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