Any ideas?

Posted , 5 users are following.

hi, does anyone have any advice/ideas on other ways to help myself? Starting to losing all hope now, why fight a fight I can't win? 

I've been on meds for a long time, started on citalopram for a while then changed to sertraline then finally to mirtazapine which im taking now, started on 15mg then upped to 30mg and now on 45mg, I've tried confiding in my doctor, had umpteen visits, I've been seeing a counsellor for the last 6 months, I work, only once a week but it's something, I have 5 children, youngest being twins of 5 yrs. I've tried confiding in friends and family but nobody understands, tried to find/give myself things to look forward to To try to lift my spirits but that hasn't worked either, I don't have any enjoyment in anything anymore, my children Can make me smile but it's Also hard work being on my own with them.

So recently I'd decided to give up! Not take my life (although I have been there)but just stop fighting a pointless fight, felt i Should just except how my life is and in weird kinda way i felt a slight release, that I didnt have to fight anymore! But have now realised I need to at least try again for my babies so I'm asking for any tips/ideas as I'm literally all out, feel I've tried and Am trying everything but to no avail! I Have a horrible feeling of emptiness and literally don't know what to do anymore. 

Sorry for the long rant 

X

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    How have you been finding seeing the counsellor? Does that help you? 

    I think change takes time, just lots of gradual steps. When we feel depressed or anxious we get so focused on how we are thinking or how we perceive our surroundings - the 'dangers' that might be there, we lose sight of our hope and forget the better times. I overthink enjoyment and what things I like. I had an interesting session with my counsellor last week about feelings - I'm so good at giving lots of narrative to things however I don't stop to feel the feelings. It's like with anxiety, when it's heightened we can try to run away from it rather than experience it. 

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    • Posted

      Hi, I like and trust my counsellor but do find it hard to say things, I struggle in sessions, I'm just a nervous/shy person But I keep going because I want it to work, but I don't know if it really is? The same with my meds im not sure they help either as I still feel so down and am struggling a lot but I'm not willing to take the risk of stopping or changing either as I may feel worse, although I'm not sure that's possible.

      Hope that makes sense? X

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    • Posted

      I know it's not a quick fix but I've struggled with this most of my adult life and seems to be, well it is getting worse rather than better, without sounding like I'm wallowing in self pity I just think maybe I should face the fact that sometimes it just doesn't get better, that it's Maybe Just who I am x
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  • Posted

    Hi I think anyone with depression understands where you are coming from. For me it is the constant lethargy which is hard to handle. Although last night I slept a bit better and when I woke up felt more relaxed. I am a very light sleeper now. I have been impressed how our forum friends work with depression and get themselves out and about. That is something I need to work on. It came too easy when I was well. I also think try hard to stay on top of household jobs as they can soon get out of control. Looking at the ironing all day doesn't get it done!! Take good care of yourself today and hope the day is a bit better xx
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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply Annie, I too suffer with sleeping, have only been sleeping up to 2 hours a night for weeks now and it's not getting any better, so I feel for you I know how horrible it is to not sleep well xxx
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  • Posted

    Hi!

    I've been asking myself the same question, trying to fight depression for over 11 years now. I was so determined to get better that I started studying psychology and neuroscience to understand my brain.So, here are some things I know:

    1. Small percentage of depressed people are treatment-resistant, the rest, however, find the treatment that works for them perfectly. So give yourself 2-3 months for trying out the drug and if it doesn't work move on to the next until you will find it.

    2. I did read you feel shy with your therapist- I get that; it takes time to build a relationship. You can ask him/her to first focus on behavioural part of the therapy and try to identify whether there are any certain situations that worsen your depression. From there you can work on thinking patterns and deeper feelings, once you feel comfortable with it.

    3. And here are some tricks (supported by research):

    - smile even if you don't feel like it (the brain "reads" it as if you were happy and produces appropriate hormones to reflect that; in the actual study participants had to hold a pencil in their mouth- it worked)

    -do something for yourself, especially if it is physical exercise- it helps generate new cells in hippocampus, area that is affected by depression. Basically, exercise is both great for stress and depression.

    -mindfulness- this one is pretty amazing if done regularly. I like it not only because there is a lot of research that supports its effectiveness but also because it allows you to feel depressed without being judgemental. There is a lot about it on internet- have you tried it?

    Also, I am wondering, have you had depression for a long time?

    xx

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    • Posted

      Hi, I've been on meds for years but have been taking mirtazapine for roughly 8 months? 

      My counsellor is lovely, he knows me, knows how I am and tries his best with me as I do him, I've become a lot more open with him lately but it's still not really helping, although he's great I just feel now that I it's not enough, like any of it isn't enough, I've tried so much to help myself but nothing seems to work, I got told about smiling, making yourself smile but it doesn't really help me either, my children make me smile but I always feel worse after feeling a slight bit of happiness. 

      I've done the exercise thing, joined the gym, changed my diet, even though I'm a huge fussy eater ive tried to eat more healthily.

      Not sure what you mean by mindfulness so no I haven't researched it online x

      I've suffered from depression for most of my adult life, I'm 32 now xx 

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    • Posted

      Hey,

      I can relate. I'm 28 and depressed since 17 and as well cannot find anything that would help me sufficiently to lead a normal life, just few things that make it easier.

      Mindfulness is a form of meditation where you focus on physical sensations and flow of your feelings without judging them, e.g. when you are sad, you close your eyes and and focus on how it feels and where is it located and don't think of it as something negative, just as an emotion, nothing else. Learning to react like that to negative emotions ("stripping" them down to being neutral) helps me when I'm really down.

      Well, I'm sorry I can't tell you anything helpful sad My plan is to make a list of possible treatments I haven't tried (together with my doctor and therapist) and just check them one by one. Next on list is getting off lithium and treating my subclinical hypothyroidism as it may cause depression. I suspect that I may have treatment-resistant depression and in this case what can help is electroconvulsive therapy or ritalin.

      I hope you will find treatment you need. And then please share it; maybe you will help me in the end wink

      All the best,

      xx

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  • Posted

    I can only assume that I'm a lot younger than you, I'm only 19 so I understand I probably don't have anywhere near as many responsibilities as you do. I've been on antidepressants for a while, and recently when ive felt really down and fed up, ive just got up and dressed and gone for a run. my doctor advised it a long time ago but I thought it was a pointless idea and didn't see how it'd work, but it really did help relieve a lot of stress, just being able to run and run and run. I have been going through a bad patch lately so ive just started to run more and more. don't get me wrong I do still feel down afterwards, but nothing compared to how I was before. I hope this helps xxx 
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