anyone can help ?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi, my name Eross, I live in Indonesia, I'm 18 years old. I'm not school now because friends in my school never like me, I never seen my father from I 4 years old, my mother in HK from I 5 years old. I don't know why I'm always need attention, sometimes I have idea for suicide. Please help me !!

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  • Posted

    Hi Eross

    When one of our parents leave and don't make the effort to see us it makes a big impact on how we see ourselves and we think it isour fault ( ITS NOT OUR FAULT).. You obviously feel abandoned and reject by your father.. I am not sure what you mean by your mother being in HK..But if your not getting any support this will affect your self esteem and you can become depressed.. Its very understandable you need attention and some sort of support..

    Please go see your doctor and tell them how you feeland you should get support and advise..

    Keep talking on here to get support as well..

    You are not on your own with people at school being nasty and please don't think that is your fault..My daugther had a terrible time at school as well..

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  • Posted

    Hi Eross,

    which island in Indonesia do you live on? I only ask because I have friends that live on Bali.

    Do you have any brothers or sisters? Life can be difficult for everyone when they're a teenager, but you seem to have had a particularly difficult time.

    I can actually relate quite a bit to your problem. My father left me when I was 14 too. He moved to Australia and left me in Scotland with my mother. My mother then left me with my Grandmother and she left and disappeared to London. Then my Grandmother sent me to a boarding school.

    By the time I reached 18 I was a very angry young man, but the anger was really just a way of masking the horrible feelings I had that I wasn't a good person or that I was somehow unlovable, because three people that I thought loved me had abandoned me. Just as Laura said, I felt it was my fault, and Laura is right, it's never our fault when someone abandons us.

    when we are children we expect the adults in our lives to be perfect and to understand everything in life. Sadly that's never the case, adults are imperfect and make mistakes.

    My heart really goes out to you Eross. Please believe that you are a unique and valuable young man. I'm sure you have gifts and talents that are needed in this world. Now that you have found this forum I hope you will share any desperate or self destructive thoughts you may have. I believe this is a safe, non judgemental place where you will find support and encouragement.

    Starting today I want you to tell yourself that you are unique, talented young man. You have an exciting life ahead of you. You will find someone and fall in love and maybe one day you will be a parent.

    please don't make the mistakes I made Eross. I was so angry with my parents and I felt so unlovable that I set out on a very dangerous lifestyle. The point I'm making is that I never came to terms with my feelings of abandonment.

    ive travelled the world and had a couple of good jobs but all those feelings you describe followed me everywhere I went. My marriage broke down because of it. I have two daughters now, one in Australia that I don't see as often as I'd like and one in Scotland, who is so angry at me for abandoning her for 7 years she won't speak to me or see me.

    Eross, please, keep posting how you are feeling and I really hope that we can help you through this confusing and upsetting time. I hope you can deal with these issues now, so that they don't follow you through your life causing you pain.

    Laura and Lynne are both kind, they have reached out to help me. I'm sure they'll do the same for you. They're both wise and helpful. 

    im thinking of you buddy, and I hope to hear from you again.

    Jack

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