Anyone dealt with PMDD? Have suicidal thoughts when I'm on my period

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So I should start from the begining: Late last year I began experiencing a lot of weight gain, even though I was excersing reguarly and eating healthy, I then started to feel tired all the time and my periods were irregular such as sometimes lasting 7 days and being extremely heavy to sometimes only lasting a day being very light, also my periods were all over the place.

I went to the doctors thinking maybe it was a thyroid problem as my nan suffers with it. The doctors did blood samples and swabs but the only thing picked up was thrush. They than sent me to the hospital for and internal and external scans which showed there was no cysts etc, the next course of action was to see the gyno, she did some tests and it came down to having imbalanced hormones, she was more concerned with my bowels than my menstrual problems.

The doctors only course of action was to put me on the pill which I didnt want, I had been on the pill since I was 14 due to heavy periods than up until I was 19 when I stopped due to extreme mood swings. I eventually gave in and went back on the pill within the first couple of weeks the mood swings came straight back and I felt like the same irrational person I was 2 years ago, I was snappy, emotional, anxious, depressed I couldnt handle it. So I went back to the doctors and they switched me to a Lo-estrongen pill and told me to come back for a check up in a month to see how I got on.

I went back a month later and reported since starting the pill I had started coming down with headaches, the doctor advised me they were tension headaches and nothing to worry from so I went off. Still through the last 6 months on the pill they continued and got worse, I went from having no headaches to having 3 to 4 every week. I went to the opticians in case it was my eye sight worseining (My eye sight is dreadful) all was fine. Than one day I had a serious migraine which lasted 2 days and maybe feel sick at this point I went back to the doctors and saw my original doctor who told me to come off them straight away. I did and since then my headaches have cleared up, that was 3 months ago.

Since coming off the pill the old problems have come back, irregular periods, such a heavy flow that I'm leaking through all the time, sever muscle aches, tiredness etc but what's really concerning me now is that the last two months every time I get my period I become extremely depressed. Today all i've done is cry and have suicidal thoughts which is obserd because I have nothing to be sad about.

I literally become this different person when I have my period, I become anxious, extremely depressed, literally feel useless and alone and that life would be just better if I end it. And it comes out of nowhere, like nothing triggers it. I looked it up on google (I know worst thing to do) to see if it was related to imbalanced hormones and loads of articles came up about PMDD and I'm just wondering if anyone knew anything about it?

I literally cant go on like this anymore, it seems to get worse every month and im worried about maybe next time i'll do something stupid. I'm fine all throughout the month and than my period comes and its like bam im this new person who thinks things like I have no one, or that no one loves me or that I'm never going to amount to nothing and that whats the point of carrying on and that's not me, I'm not that person. 

If you asked any of my friends they would tell you I'm the sort of person that goes out and gets what I want in life, that I plan my life out and I'm happy with it, I set goals and bucket lists and I work towards them all the time and I know that something is wrong with me - its not normal to feel this way when you have your period, its not normal to suddenly feel like comiting suicide because your hormones are so imbalanced during your period that you suddenly and unreasonably feel that way.

I have a life planned out for myself, to finish uni, go travelling, teach english to unprivillaged children and do something good and I just feel like if I dont get this sorted that plan will just wash away. Literally all I can think about is having a hysterectomy? at the age of 21 to stop feeling this way.

Can anyone help? 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Annalise.

    Sorry no one has reponded with any help.  I haven't much to offer but a bit of experience.

    Firstly hysterectomy would not help as you would go into menopause and suffer all sorts of hormonal problems.

    When I was younger and suffered with pmt Vit B6 taken a few days before period helped with anxiety, tearfulness and pre menstrual tensions. This was prescribed by my doctor. Pyridoxine is the medical name for Vit B6.

    Try a good multi vitamin supplement and I take passionflower at the moment which helps with a number of hormonal and mental stresses.

    Unstable hormones can cause us to have many unwanted thoughts, myself included. I can only think that having been taking the bcp for a number of years your hormones need chance to settle down for a few months. I know this doesn't help in the short term but look after yourself nutritionally, and keep talking and tell yourself that your suicide thoughts aren't the real you.

    You have a wonderful life plan ahead of you, so exciting.

    Stay strong, much love xx

  • Posted

    ps. What does PMDD stand for?
    • Posted

      Hiya. It's premenstrual disphoric disorder..a genetic malfunction causing a sensitivity to the fluctuations during the luteal phase. It affects 3 to 8% of women of menstruating age. It's commonly misdiagnosed as bipolar x

  • Posted

    Hey Annalise,

      Are you still alive? I has suicidal thought on birth control pill. I thought that if i triple my dosage my period would finally stop.  My period lasted 6 weeks. My relationship was being damaged. I was so bi-polar . Anyways I finally popped Black Cohosh , and my period started slowing down and then it just stopped.  I bought at cvs for like $10.  I just started with the same problem a couple weeks ago. I just popped two and hoping this works again. 


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