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I am an 18 year old who is studying for his A levels. I have smoked cannabis for about five years now and it is more recently, the past 1 - 2 years, becoming a real problem where i havent been a day without it and it is the first thing i think about in the morning. I think this could be a cause of my problems long term but at the same time it relieves it short term. I didnt know what to write so i listed some of the things i feel as they came to me:
I get scared and put off calling people (eg. Doctors To make appointments).
I know i need to see a doctor but cant bring myself to.
I get scared when i talk to people of authority (eg. My teachers and managers).
If i see someone i know in the street i will try and not be seen so i wont have to talk to them.
I dont feel comfortable talking to anyone but close friends (even family) although none of my friends know my problems.
I cannot make decisions.
I sometimes think that it would be easier if i wasnt here to deal with these problems.
I worry about college, money, the future.
I worry about there constantly being something wrong that other people can see (eg. Theres something on my back).
I dont like being in crowded places.
I have episodes where i cant stop thinking about everything bad in my life.
I have a very short temper.
I would rather stay in my room than do anything else.
I cant talk to new people so i dont have many (if any REAL) friends.
I have been through stages where, for two weeks or so, i can feel really bad every day, while i have just been through about a week where i didnt feel bad at all.
I can, often and for long periods of time, feel happy with no stress (mainly when i am occupied/with friends).
I do get times where i cant stop crying, but it is never that bad that i have a panic attack or cant leave the house.
I get worried that there is nothing wrong with me and there is nothing i can do to stop it.
I get headaches often.
My memory is poor.
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