Are we really being fair?

Posted , 10 users are following.

Good Morning Ladies,

I wanted to say something about Husband bashing of I may?. I know we are all going through something pretty horrific and we dont know ourselves anymore, we are confused and scared most of the time. We dont understand what is happening to us on any given day. With that being said, if we dont understand how can we expect our significant other to understand? We can try and explain but if it doesn't make sense to us, it will not make sense to them. They live with a person that used to be their wife and dont know what happened to her. When I hear someone say my husband doesn't get it, I think to myself no, he doesn't because we dont talk to him about how we are feeling. We as women were not made that way I think. For those who are trying to understand, I say Bless you and for those who do not want to understand and tell us that it is all in our head? i think they are as scared and confused as we are and that's how they cope. It doesn't make them bad , they just need to research. There are spouses (like mine) that are going through this with us as a team. I can not imagine my husband not supporting me and being emotionally unavailable to me because he doesn't understand. So ladies, the next time you feel the need to lash out at your spouse because he is not acting the way you think he should, please stop and think about it for a minute. I think if we try and communicate our feelings better and ask him to research what menapause does to us. Maybe then more of our spouses will understand. These are just my thoughts and in no way directed at anyone. I dont know each person's situation and everyone is different, but I do believe that we need to communicate more with them. I hope all of you have a symptom free day, Hugs to all!?🙂

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  • Posted

    Agreed. Although I doubt most partners will take the time or energy to do the research on their own. smile I'm a very pragmatic logical person and have to find out exactly WHY and HOW this is happening to me. I've explained to my husband what I know about the hormone shifts and how they affect me physically,emotionally,and mentally. It has helped quite a bit. 

    I think the frustrating thing for him is the feeling of helplessness. There's nothing he can do to make me feel better and it worries him when he sees me on the days I can barely get out of bed.

    But, yes. The more we know, the more we should educate those whom it effects. It's gonna be long strange trip smile

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  • Posted

    I understand what you are saying and partly agree with you. I couldn't have talked and shared more with my husband to make him.understand. he is not stupid, he is intellectual but I don't think he has time to research and read about it. I do all the research and share with him anyway. So please don't assume that we don't talk or share... Yes, every women and men are different... we don't just lash out on them. There are times we just feel so alone and unsupported and lash out on any body around us...

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  • Posted

    Well coming from Someone who has talked to their husband until blue in the face trying to get him to understand what I'm feeling inside and it does NOT work! we are now more like roommates than ever! ( not my fault) so count your blessings that you have a husband that shares cares and understands you and what your going through, not all of us do!!! And don't take it the wrong way, its just that all men are not alike and don't understand.. And there is no sugar coating this, divorce rate is high at this very unfortunate time in our lives..

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    • Posted

      I am so very sorry that he does not want to understand. I know all men are different and he seems to be very caught up in himself, with no regard for you or how you feel. for that I am truly sorry..
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    • Posted

      He is caught up in himself and his own health issues , I entered perimenopause and he developed heart failure... He does have his own worries and when I was in my darkest days and couldn't leave my house couldn't be alone anxiety thru the roof I would always say please stay here with me just for 20 more min while m y anxiety panic attack could calm down, and he would leave to go on to work, and I would be in tears , he thought I could just go onto the doctor and take a pill hormones maybe I guess and fix it all, well not that simple breast cancer on my mothers side and I had a hysterectomy for pre cancer cells when I was 27 so no doctor will give me hormones, to risky.. And during all this he finds out he has a bad heart and the stress of that makes this all so much worse.. My dad died last October and my 74 year old mother had to move in with us, and put even more stress on the marriage... She has her own health issues that we have to deal with as well, he eventually moved into the spare bedroom upstairs and that is how we now are more like roommates... I try and try to talk to him and tell him to take his meds for his heart which he won't do he tells me worry about myself and once I'm fixed I can work on fixing him... Back to I guess he thinks its a hormone pill that will fix all my issues that I can't have... He use to be my rock but it seems that we've just grown apart at this time in our lives and everyday is a struggle I'm sure for him as well as I know it is for me but that's our life in a nutshell.. I believe I'm truly being more than fair trying to talk our issues out and to explain to him what this menopause really feels like, and I get nowhere, so back to I think all men are not alike and some husbands are supportive and there are some that aren't, or can't be because of there own issues in life , who knows.. With that said if you have that supportive husband then you truly are in a good spot in your life and you should cherish him it is going to make your transition into menopause that much better for you!

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    • Posted

      I really hope things turn around for you. one thing I have learned from all this is that we are stronger then we give ourselves credit for. if I have offended or hurt your feelings in any way, I am truly sorry. that was not my intention with this post.
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    • Posted

      Oh my goodness no way have you offended me at all Susane in anyway ???? today just happens to be not my wedding anniversary but just the anniversary of the day we met 27 years ago today so I'm feeling a bit down today.. And I know these days are rough on us all, and that's why I visit these sites because they cheer me up.. I'm grateful for all you ladies each and everyone out here💓

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