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Aren't I dead yet

Posted , 8 users are following.

Lynsky
Lynsky

I'm just venting and this is the first time I've posted anything to a site like this. I can't even deal with FB because of the drama it creates.

I have had chronic pain for over 10 years now. A dozen neck surgeries not to mention the other surgeries. I'm 47, been divorced twice with no kids. I always wanted and had a fabulous career with a great reputation in the field which all went to crap when I became 100% disabled. My mom died last year and my dad, my biggest fan, died in Sept. I am on multiple meds for pain, depression, ocd ptsd, etc. What is it I'm living for? I feel like I'm just done and can't keep living like this. Blah blah blah sorry to be such a downer.

3 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane Lynsky

    Posted

    Hello Lynsky. You really do sound depressed and for some really good reasons. So sorry about the loss of both your parents. Are the meds helping keep your physical pain in check? Have you had any counseling and if so did it help? We will be here for you as long as you need us! We care. Diane. 
    • Lynsky
      Lynsky Adldiane

      Posted

      Thank you Diane.

      I'm in pain all the time and have 2 more neck surgeries scheduled in Feb. I've tried counseling and currently see a physchiatrist for what's left of my mental health. Thank you again for your reply.

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 Lynsky

    Posted

    You are not a downer! I am so very sorry about all of the negativity that has invaded your precious and needed and wanted life. We need you here on earth with us. You are loved and cared about. I am very concerned regarding your feelings on giving up on your much needed life in this world. Please get more help with professionals. I am a bi polar extreme depressive with uncontrollable panic attacks, crying jags and an eating disorder. I am in constant pain due to arthritis in my neck, hips and back I too am on social security disability also when I start to feel like you are feeling right now I call the doctor or a hot line if I have to I will go to the hospital or an urgent care facility to get immediate help. The depression is messing with your mind due to all of the trauma that you have endured. Please fight it. Get help now. There are many reasons to live. I know that you have reasons to live. You can always come to this website to vent cry talk say what is on your mind and tell us how you feel this website is excellent I have been to many and this one works please get help ASAP we want to hear back from you don’t worry we have your back we will support you any way that we can

    Much loved 

    • Lynsky
      Lynsky carmela45627

      Posted

      Thank you Carmela45627.

      Life just plain stinks. My car has issues and I just put over $1000 into it and it's still messed up. How much crap can someone take. I was diagnosed as bipolar last year and after horrible results with lithium am now on other meds. Pills drs appts, surgeries, and death have been my life for the past two + years and I'm tired... Tired of all of it. I really appreciate your caring words though, thank you.

    • carmela45627
      carmela45627 Lynsky

      Posted

      Lyn

      You can find joy in this world. You can be happy. I am bi polar too I know how you feel the lows are horrible. The highs are terrible too. Please get professional help and give the meds time to kick in. Please be patient. Please?

    • Lynsky
      Lynsky carmela45627

      Posted

      Carmela45627

      Thank you for your nice words. There is such a lack of mental health options in my state plus once you pay for your medical insurance, rx coverage, etc... How do you even afford treatment... I feel like I could just lose it. I've always tried to...anyway it's hard to put thoughts into words some times. Thank you again for your kind thoughts. I've lost so many "friends" from having to cancel plans at the last minute or whatever so it's pretty strange to hear such nice words from someone you don't even know.

    • carmela45627
      carmela45627 Lynsky

      Posted

      Lyn

      Anytime we all have the same thing in common and unless you have you wouldn’t understand. It is so hard to deal with and the last thing that you need is somebody judging you or accusing you. It is a very dangerous disease for the patient. You are very welcome and don’t be afraid to keep coming back even if you repeat yourself this is a safe place for you

  • borderriever
    borderriever Lynsky

    Posted

    Lynsky

    I am like you I am Chronically disabled and have been on all the courses, also Pain Clinic I have PsA and I am now sixty seven. I have been bad since around 1985  I was retired out in 1988

    How can I help

    BOB

    • Lynsky
      Lynsky borderriever

      Posted

      Thanks for the reply BOB. I'm not sure there is anything anyone can do, sorry I'm not more helpful just don't know how to find joy in anything anymore.

  • Lynsky
    Lynsky

    Posted

    Please know that I appreciate the comments and also want to say I'm sorry for complaining. I know everyone on here has their own stuff going on and maybe one day I can be helpful to you. Unfortunately, I can't even figure out how to get myself together so I don't think I would be of any help to anyone else at this point.

  • DarkDancingZoe
    DarkDancingZoe Lynsky

    Posted

     I was actually born with two syndromes they can give me chronic pain. It’s hard. But you’re not alone in the chronic pain stuff.  I’ve had a lot of surgeries, but they were I surgeries. I had 38 to be exact, and yes, surgeries can be  frustrating . 

     Sorry for the typos, speech to text is not being nice. 

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 Lynsky

    Posted

    Wait Lyn you can come here anytime and speak and say anything that you want we will listen and help to guide you in the right direction. Talk talk talk we will listen. We don’t want you to leave us in any way. Please call your doctor go to the hospital please get help now. Please don’t leave us. Keep coming back.

    We need you! We want you! We care about you!

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