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As time goes by.................................................

Posted , 3 users are following.

deaver
deaver

Hi, Just sitting here watching the world go past by got me thinking; how much of my life has been missed because of my depression?  

I had an ok childhood, my teens were good, depression I think probably started to show in my early twenties, but why, who knows?  My thirties are a blur, depression overload.  Since then, it's been a constant challenge.  Up then down, then up then down, nothing really stable.  Medication changes so much I think I've tried almost everything they can offer.  The only constant is me.  How can you fix yourself??  I try to keep positive (but fail quite alot), I try to be proactive with regards to healthy eating and exercise as my body allows, so why no improvements?

I would meet with anyone to discuss things if it helped, but it doesn't seem to, and there are things locked within that I cannot bear to go through.

I guess I have to face "this is me", "my life" and it's never going to be any different.

Still, I know there are others worse off and that's what keeps me going.

Thanks for listening.

Any comments appreciated, it helps to know others care or have similar experiences. 

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Davesoapbox
    Davesoapbox deaver

    Posted

    I know how you feel, my answer is to give it back. I'm ill, chances are I will always be ill but so are many others. If I help just one person with support to get through their day then my day is worth it. So I write, spread the word and try to be there for people.

    It's all about perception 🙏

  • rachel62244
    rachel62244 deaver

    Posted

    Depression is awful. I had it once after my son and now again after my daughter (I didn't think I'd go there again) my life is happy and I have it all but my mind is ill. Iv struggled for 7months so far and I start to think I'm getting better then it creeps in again. In get anxiety and slightly ocd along with it. I hold on to a day I'm free I hold on to the day I'm me again and my kids get there mummy back. I hope and pray it will go.
  • k95388
    k95388 deaver

    Posted

    I once read a book called "Out of Apples". The premise of the book was this: each of us has a basket full of apples. Every time we do something, we give away an apple (or more, depending on the event). This applies to things we do to ourself, like worrying. We need to be sure we replace our apples, or at least give them a chance to replenish naturally. It might be that the things you have locked inside you are taking up so much energy that you don't have anything left for what's going on right now. Did these things happen around the time you started to feel depressed? Have you talked to a counselor about them? Maybe addressing them would help. At any rate, you are not alone...think about Dori from Finding Nemo....just keep swimming! 
  • Digsby
    Digsby deaver

    Posted

    Hi buddy,

    When we are not ourselves, we think we are broken and need fixing. It may be that people change and you need to discover the new you. As Dave says, it is all about our perception, particularly of ourselves. Mindfulness has helped me to accept things about the past which are painful but which I can't change. It is painful to face them so it is best done in a controlled way (i.e. with a counsellor or healthcare professional). However, suppressing the pain of the past will only prolong the suffering as it will keep resurfacing in the future. acceptance isn't about condoning what has happened to you or saying it's ok. It's more to do with letting go and freeing yourself by facing the thoughts and feelings, acknowledging their affect on you, and riding the wave until you come out the other side. Things might seem overwhelming but they say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I believe that's true. With each day that we continue on life's journey, our experiences - good and bad - equip us for the road ahead. And we are not alone on that road. We are here to support one another. Be strong. Keep calm and carry on :-)

    Good luck, Digsby

    • deaver
      deaver Digsby

      Posted

      Thanks for your positive comments, really appreciate them.
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