At the end of my rope....

I am in desperate need of help. I'm 37 and have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I've been through so much, but any happiness that I find is so short lived. I've been able to build what looks like a normal life but I am so sad and hopeless. I have no friends to talk to, don't trust my family, and have been through many counselors with no luck. I'm on my 2nd marriage at this point but the relationship is not the love that I want... I got married to him because we have a daughter together and I want my daughter to have a normal family, but we are on the verge of divorce. I dont feel he understands me whatsoever, and makes me feel worse that the one person who should get me doesn't and I feel even more alone and issolated. I just feel immensely sad and hopeless and pointless. I try to live for my toddler daughter but even that's not enough... I have been crying my eyes out all morning in front of her which makes me feel even worse, but I can't seem to stop. I don't know what I'm to hoping to accomplish with this post. Guess I'm hoping for a miracle because all I see tells me everyone in this world would be better off without me. I am against anti depression medication for many reasons... I have to make myself happy on my own but I'm so lost. Really need a friend and someone who understands.

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