back from holiday

[quote:a1bad2cf14=\"megapolitico\"]Hi everyone

back from few days away,felt ok but cant face going out on my own at all anymore.Also am taking maximum diazepam instead of reducing it but I cant be worrying about that as the anxiety has been quite manageable.Have psychiatrist appt tommorow when she wants me to start lithium,I guess Im both scared and hopeful about it because I do want to get better,but am scared about works reaction.The olanzapine and mirtazapine must have been doing something,I think I over analyse everything sometimes,Imean no one is happy ALL the time are they?Im sure its done me good to get away,I was laughing the other day and I havent done that for weeks,so thereyou go

Jox[/quote:a1bad2cf14] Joe, wish you luck 4 tomorrow, let us know how it goes..x

Psychiatrist started me on 400mcg lithium starting tonight along with the mirtazapine,olanzapine and diazepam.Sadly a bad really suiucidal day today,13 year old really resentful about us having gone away and has embarked upon a raving swear fest which has made all of us extremely tense unfortunately.I know she is scsred and worried but her outbursts are so extreme i just wish i could get in the car and never come back.I just cant accept that im feeling about as good as the anti depressants are going to make me ,about 60-70% well according to the Dr.whats the point then,I know theres been stuff in the news but I know theyve worked better for me in the past,or maybe that was the manic part of me doing it anyway.I use to just suddenly think something brilliant was going to happen andn then i probably made it happen for myself.Given that none of my life now makes sense Im going to stop trying to understand.

JO x :wink:

Hi Jo, i do hope this lithium works for you , and you see some improvement soon... i seem to have gotten stuck at the point I'm at and don't think I'm improving any more. Going to see psychiatrist in April so am going to mention this. I am the same as you as in nothing seems to make sense anymore, :? Neurologist said that i was suffering with cfc, [m.e.] but doctor reluctant to admit that it is this and does it exist anyways??? Hope you have a good day today x

Jul :wink:

Hi Charlies girl

as totally groggy this morning,got up at7 somehow with kids but went back to bed till 10.30.Was like this with mirtazapine.Have felt v low over last 2 days and suicidal,I wish I could post something cheerful.I know what its like to be stuck in a rut,for me everything takes so long and I can barel face doing anything at all.ME deffinitely exists and depression is common with it,some Drs are still reluctant to accept it though.

Soon I have to start feeling better,I just wait and wait and waste my life waiting.

JOxx