Been feeling depressed for 3 years, need to do something about it

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I have been feeling depressed on and off for about three years now. I have never been "diagnosed" as I have never actively seeked help. I have been able to tolerate it up until now, even though there have been some very dark times, however recently it has been getting worse and I have noticed how much it is impacting on my life.

I feel exhausted all the time. Small jobs like washing the dishes or laundry feel like monumental tasks. I have started a new job recently however that has only made things worse. My lack of motivation makes me feel guilty which feeds my exhaustion and it all just becomes a viscious cycle!

My social life has been non-existent since I finished University (about two years ago). I moved out of my parents' house into a house share at the beginning of the year with the intent of making friends and meeting new people. Unfortunately this hasn't worked out the way I had hoped and I am just left feeling even more lonely, often going back to my parents' house. I have a few close friends from school still kicking around, however they make me feel angry as they never return my calls or texts and only seem to want to meet up when they have something to gain from it (e.g. a lift or free food/ drink). 

Recently I have been becoming very hateful and isolated (even more so than usual!). I can't see how things are going to get any better unless I do something about it, however I don't know what to do. I went to see a doctor when I first started feeling really bad. They suggested counselling, however by the time they offered me an appointment I had finished my final year exams so I was on a bit of a high and didn't think I needed it! This has made me hesitant to go to a doctor again as I'm worried they would just fob me off and it wouldn't get sorted.

I find this very difficult to talk about, more so to convey my feelings in so many words! I could fill a book with my negative and hateful thoughts. Therefore I would really appreciate it if anyone could offer any advice on how to go about fixing this and getting my life back on track.

Many thanks

 

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  • Posted

    You need to take stock of your life. Firstly you call certain people friends yet you say they do not bother to return calls and only want you when they can gain something. So admit to yourself these people are not genuine - they are not friends - they are acquiantances and users/spongers. You will find that if you continue to go along with this type of "relationship" it will drag you down more.

    They gain and you feel used, so why bother?

    A doctor will not fob you off but they are also not experts on these things. They pass you on to a consultant or they give you anti depressants.

    From what you have said you need to think differently, your depression is caused by your negative thoughts and bad choices and lack of confidence. Things no doctor can change. A good therapist would be able to, you cannot on your own.

    In the meantime remember the good things. Your parents, your youth, your physical health etc. You have some terrific things in your life that you are not really enjoying or acknowledgingk because you allow the negative to over shadow it.

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    • Posted

      You are very welcome Jack. Try to remember all the people who have terrible problems they have no choices over. People who are blind, deaf, unable to walk, in a lot of physical pain, dying of cancer, in prison for a crime they did not commit, homeless and much more. Then think of how you can change the things in your life you are unhappy about. I know it hurts a lot when a so called friend wants to use you, this has happened to me many times, but you have to be strong enough to say no and remember they are not genuine people. Once your confidence grows you wil find it easy to avoid and not be interested in relationships that are one way streets.
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  • Posted

    i have been in the exact same situation for almost 4 years, but living in a family of 5 with financial problems visiting a psychologist is not an option unless it is my school psychologist, who is completely useless. if anyone has any ideas, let me know, i would very much appreciate it
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