Been off citalopram about a month

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So, I came off Citalopram about a month ago. It was a sudden and abrupt stop due to the reminders on my phone not going to remind me what day I had to take them. So, because of that it left me feeling ill from the cold turkley effect but since then I've not been too bad......

Other than I am extremely teary at practyically anything! I cry at songs that I've heard a million times before and that never affected me, I cry at TV ads, I cry at sad storylines in soaps, I cry at things I watch on Facebook that aren't necessarily sad.

I'm also having a lot of insecurites again which I used to face before going on them such as insecure about my appearance, feeling inadaquate compared to attractive girls I see and them making me feel worthless (obviously they are completely oblivious to this because this is just me). Today, I could just sit and sob and I don't really know why. As I'm writing this I'm trying to hold back my tears.

I don't know if this is all because I have come off the tablets? But I was fine on 10mg every other day but surely a small amount like 10mg wouldn't have that much impact on things? I so want to be dependant and fight this but each time I try and come off this I just seem to sink back into that never ending black hole. I don't want to be weak but as I feel right at this minute, giving in and going back on them just seems the easiest option.

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  • Posted

    Hi laura just a couple of thoughts. I think you have 2 options. 1, ride this out. If you remember how long it took to get settled on citalopram you may find it takes that long coming off.  You're reversing, so maybe view it as again something you have to ride out short term and see where you are in another couple of months.  Option 2 is you say you were doing well on 10mg every other day.  That in itself was fantastic.  Maybe    remaining on that dosage a lot longer would be a good idea and then dropping to 10mg every 3rd day and again seeing how that goes etc.  the slower you do thus the better.  Cold turkey was indeed the worst way to come off but remind yourself you are doing fantastically well, and it's no failure to go back on with a view to a long slow tapering off.  For me, Christmas is coming so having a plan now, for a happy Christmas would be my top priority.  Hugs xxx
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    • Posted

      Hi Chris,

      Initially, before the major hiicup with reminders not going off onmy phone I had been doing it gradually for about a year; so I was doing 10mg every other day for a few months, then I went to 10mg every 2 days for a few months, then every 3 days and at the point I ended up cold turkey I was doing one every 4th day. So the fact it was already practically once a month and I appeared to be OK, seems so odd to me that now, (unless it is because of the sudden stop) I am feeling this way again. I will try and ride it out but when I'm full of self loathing and insecurities eating a way at me, and full of despair when I look in a mirror it leaves me wanting to break down there and then with the feeling of hopelessness. It drives me mad though, I know I am being completely irrational yet I can't seem to overcome these feelings very quickly at the minute.

      Thank you for your advice though :-)

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  • Posted

    I came off Citralopram a year ago after 15 happy years on it.  At first I also cried at everything, but this tailed off eventually.  I continued to be kind of well for a year but restarted them 3 months ago because of the stress of family illness that suddenly occurre, bringing my depression hovering back.

    There is nothing wrong with taking this medication for life if you feel you need too, and if a small dose helps maintain that happy feeling, then why not.  Many people do come off this though because of niggling side effects, or just the thought of taking medication for too long.  They won't harm you.  People take life long medications for all sorts of things.

    Going cold turkey off these drugs isn't a good idea as they can make you very ill indeed.

    Have you thought of anything like assertive classes or something similar which could help with insecurities?  There's many things that could help.

    Another thing that helped me (I used to be very shy), was dance classes.  From the first class I loved the joy of dance, started performing and now many years later run my own classes.  I get many students who lack confidence, and they find dance helps them feel good about themselves, they have fun and meet others too.  My students range from ages 20 - 60 plus, men and women, all shapes and sizes.  Great for exercise too.

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Kate,

      When I say I ended up going cold turkey, I had been weening off them for over a year; so I started doing 10mg every other day for a month or so, then went onto 10mg every 2 days etc. at the point when I ended up cold turkey, I was on 10mg every 4th day, it's just that for some reason the reminders on my phone stopped & I completely forgot where I was up too!

      I tried cognitive behavioural therapy & found that completely useless. Classes like that don't really have an impact on me.

      I do however, attend a Pilates class every week.

      That's amazing that you now run your own classes, what s real achievement :-) 

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    • Posted

      Ah I see, so still taking a little Citralopram then before stopping then.

      Citralopram builds up over time and it's action is to hang onto your serotonin before it's released into the brain, making you feel happier.  Stopping the medication means you don't hang on to it as much which reduces your mood.  I imagine taking any small dose of the medication will give you some benefit.

      Glad to hear you do Pilates.  That's so good for you.  I go to yoga too and find it so good for the soul :-)

      Its very hard when you have negative feelings about yourself, and I know when your mood is low it does make you feel that way.  Maybe ease yourself back onto Citralopram slowly, but remember you may get some unpleasant side effects to start with again.  If they suit you, you can take them for life if needed.

      Everyone is attractive in different ways - we all have good and bad points.  You sound a lovely person, and that's a great quality - being beautiful inside, and am certain beautiful on the outside too confused

      ​ 

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    • Posted

      Thank you Kate :-)

      My boyfriend gets so exasperated with me when I'm on a "lets rip me to shreds" type of day! My main obsession is with my stomach because it's perfectly flat so it's a real hang up of mine.

      The other thing I've become aware of that I'm doing more of than I was on my tablets is worrying and stressing over little things and constantly feel like I have a busy head!! I certainly wasn't like that when I was on the citalopram, but I want to be without them so bad that I guess I need to shut up moaning and just try and focus on beating the downsides that I am getting.

      But then the other thing is, we're getting to the point where we'd like to start a family but I don't want to be on them during pregnancy which was the other reason I wanted to come off with (but then I worry I'll end up with post natal depression instead!!!!) ARGH! See, so many worries buzz through my head and I'm not even at that stage just yet! I feel like banging my head against a wall haha!

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    • Posted

      It's very difficult when thoughts race around your head 24/7 - the harder you try to get rid of them, the more they stay.  Thoughts stick more when the mind is tired.

      Flat stomach ....... enjoy it, really.  Everyone wants a flat stomach :-)  I've always been thin but since having children my tummy is rounder .... but hey, still good for my age :-)

      When I had children I was taking Anafranil which isn't an SSRI, but I had discussed everything with my doctor about medication and pregnancy and took them throughout it.  I don't think you can with SSRI's but it's best to discuss all this with your doctor.  Obviously it's best not to take anything ...... but people have to take epilepsy, diabetes medicines.  My children are now 20 and 23.

      Have you thought of relaxation, meditation to help?  My yoga class makes me feel amazing after ....... hard work, but feel relaxed for the rest of the day.

       Not everyone gets post natal depression.  I didn't, even though I was a depressive person.  Midwives keep an eye keep on all new mums for this.  You can of course go back on the medication after pregnancy. 

      Pregnancy is a very special and amazing time .... and having children even more so.  What a great time in your lives!

      K xx

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    • Posted

      Yeah, I think most of the time to myself that I'll be fine during pregnancy and after because anything to do with tiny baby's and baby clothing gets me all doe-eyed and giggly and desperate to have one! So, I think with that I'll be fine ! It set me off again worrying yesterday though when I heard about that young mum in Australia who left her baby in a drain!!!! (She onviously had a lot of issues to do that) and so that got me worrying. But at the end of the day, if I was struggling I do have a very close family who'd be there for me to help me.

      No, never thought of meditation to be honest, maybe I should try it.... would be nice to not have a busy head full of nothing really buzzing around!

      It's good to know that you were OK after having children when you suffer too with depression, gives me some hope and confidence that I will be OK!!

      :-) x

       

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    • Posted

      Yeah, I think most of the time to myself that I'll be fine during pregnancy and after because anything to do with tiny baby's and baby clothing gets me all doe-eyed and giggly and desperate to have one! So, I think with that I'll be fine ! It set me off again worrying yesterday though when I heard about that young mum in Australia who left her baby in a drain!!!! (She onviously had a lot of issues to do that) and so that got me worrying. But at the end of the day, if I was struggling I do have a very close family who'd be there for me to help me.

      No, never thought of meditation to be honest, maybe I should try it.... would be nice to not have a busy head full of nothing really buzzing around!

      It's good to know that you were OK after having children when you suffer too with depression, gives me some hope and confidence that I will be OK!!

      :-) x

       

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  • Posted

    Hi laura45889

    I sympathise completely with your tearful times after coming off Citalopram.

    The few times i have tried to come off them or forget them, i also become tearful at most things, and I also have much increased irritability and short temper. You are not weak if you need to go back on them. They correct imbalances in your brain. Talking therapy would also be good for you to resolve any past difficulties or traumas you may have suffered

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