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Bit of a bad day

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hed1066
Hed1066

it all started yesterday when one of my work colleagues joking implied I was very unattractive. He's said it a few times, and hurtful as it is, I never say anything. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I just wish he wouldn't tell me his.

anyway, true to form. I get through yesterday, go to bed and all I can hear is me telling me how disgusting I am. I wake up this morning and that's still how I feel. I dither at home and end up being late for work. The result of which is parking in a tricky space. Yep, you guessed it! I prang the car causing £300 worth of damage. My husband then emails me to say he will most probably be made redundant on Monday.

im heading into a spiral of depression and would really appreciate happy words. I'm really trying to stay positive, but you guys understand how hard it is.

thanks lovelies 

x

PS it's ok to tease me about my shocking parking! ;-) 

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • katecogs
    katecogs Hed1066

    Posted

    A male work colleague tells you you're unattractive more than once?  Jeeeez ....... even joking, that's just not on.  I'd probably have said 'yup, and you're not looking so well either mate, and anyhow, beauty is from within and you're obviously lacking that'.  Now I'd probably go back and say in a joking way 'thanks for all the negative ugly comments yesterday, it really deflated me, preyed on my mind and resulted in me crashing my car, and the icing on the cake is my hubby might be made redundant'.  

    Aside from all that, and even if he was joking, words can hurt indeed.  I know it's easy to say just brush it off, but I really don't think someone would actually mean something as direct as that.

    Things often happen together ....... when something goes wrong, you get another kick in the teeth.  Always happens to me too.

    Dont try and fight the spiral of depression, it'll just make you tense.  Just try to let it be there, accept it's a difficult time, and try and roll with it.  Take time out for yourself, walks, exercise, yoga is good, time for you and hubby and friends too.

    Who needs work colleagues like that?

    You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

     

    • Hed1066
      Hed1066 katecogs

      Posted

      Thanks for your kind words, I do really appreciate them. I'm not very attractive (I'm a good person, which is more important) and he does mean it. It's just he's no looker either and I would never hurt his feelings like that. He's also the bosses boyfriend, so you just have to smile when he's horrible.

      You're right though, I should just look after myself this weekend. I suppose I just thought that being on the meds would mean I would never feel sad again. I'll do some meditation tonight, that should help a lot.

      Thanks again, I just needed to hear kind words. x

    • loxie
      loxie Hed1066

      Posted

      Dear Hed, no one can feel good when a number of bad things happen at once.  With regard to the idiot at work, it's the pot calling the kettle black.  He probably knows he's an ugly so and so and also knows because he's dating the boss he can get away with being rude.  Rudeness is usually a sign of insecurity in others, that's their way of boosting their own self esteem and ego.  Do NOT tell yourself you're unattractive, you certainly do not sound an unattractive person and beauty really isn't about stunning looks or being glam, it's what shines from within.  You probably already have low self esteem and anxiety and when morons like this make nasty comments, its so easy to take it to heart.  Dont.  He's the ugly one, inside AND out, not you.  You can't be expected to be happy about the news of your husband's job, just galvanise him and yourself to seeking out another one for him as soon as you can.  You never know, he may find a much better job quite quickly and might even have the benefit of some redundancy pay too.  I feel for you re the car, I've done the self same thing when in a mental mess about something.  Try to use the experience to make you more mindful whenever you're parking the car in future.  Sometimes doing something silly by not concentrating can just be a memory jog for the future to always keep your concentration at times like that, think only that it was a mere parking prang, no one hurt and it could have been that you lost focus while driving on a motorway or something and got hurt, which you didnt - that's good news smile

      Next time Mr Ugly Idiot tries being a smart alec or rude, smile inwardly in the knowledge that you just know he's a twit, that he probably feels demasculated because his girlfriend is in a higher job than him and he also feels insecure about his own unattractiveness which is why he takes it out on others who are more vulnerable.  As soon as you are more positive about yourself, he'll sense it and won't do it - these types are cowards plain and simple.

      Big hug.

    • katecogs
      katecogs Hed1066

      Posted

      I was bullied out of my last job by the bitch from hell.  My boss left and another colleague whom I found difficult, got her position.  From day 1 she laid into me, finding fault with everything I did, and made me feel worthless.  I did my job well, but her continuous words reduced me to a quivering wreck. I complained countless times, but it fell on deaf ears. After going home in tears once more, my husband said 'just leave'. I asked for redundancy which shocked everyone, and made sure everyone knew why I was going.  Since then she has bullied 2 more of my colleagues out of their jobs and 1 became so ill she took her to a tribunal - and sadly lost. This was a Council too - the Councillors ignore this problem. Am still disgusted, but have been at home the last 2 years loving every minute! How I ever found time to work, I don't know.

      Can you have a word with your boss about her boyfriends words?  Is there someone else superior to your boss?  Do you have HR, or any other work colleagues to confide in?

      If this person is nasty again, then start keeping a diary of dates and comments.  It's very helpful if you need it for a future date.

      Everyone is attractive.  We're all different with different shaped noses, eyes, hair, heights and body shapes - each one of us unique, and all lovely.  You're a beautiful lady inside and out, and don't let any idiotic male tell you otherwise.  Anyone who speaks in a derogatory manner like that is ugly on the inside.

      You're lovely ..... believe it xxxx

    • Hed1066
      Hed1066 loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie,

      you're completely right. It's just so difficult to remind myself he's insecure when my head keeps telling me he's right sad

      i hope everything works out with my husbands job. It could be a really good thing for us both. We shall see what the week brings...

      as for the car, I assure you, I will be very careful the next time I park! The funny thing is, I'm studying for my advanced driving licence. I can drive really well, it's the parking I have a problem with!!!

      Thanks for for all your support, it really has helped. X

  • redmarigolds
    redmarigolds Hed1066

    Posted

    i agree with katecogs kick him where it hurts, who does he think he is. take time out for yourself, take a deep breath relax, you will get through this thin king of you xxx

     

    • Hed1066
      Hed1066 redmarigolds

      Posted

      I will do, thanks. It's funny how lilttle things floor you.

      Thanks for your kind words (and the visual image of me kicking him in the nuts ;-) )

      x

  • Richardt
    Richardt Hed1066

    Posted

    You have your husband who is attracted to you otherwise he wouldnot have married you, the guy just wanted to make you angry, its very rrare for a men to ssay even to the ugliest women she is ugly this guy wants to hurt you, l guess he has some gradge with you, Blieve me your husband would not have marriedd u ifhe was not attracted to you, the problem with depppression is it exagerates how we feel are you on medication if so how much, goodluck we men are funny creatures do not take what we say at face value.
    • Hed1066
      Hed1066 Richardt

      Posted

      Thanks Richardt, I really appreciate your message. He does say silly things and I try to ignore him but it's a repeated joke. You're right though, I'm not a giggly girl who panders to his ego. He most probably needs to knock me down a notch or two, and he succeeds! Men are indeed strange creatures! 
    • Richardt
      Richardt Hed1066

      Posted

      Hi On Monday call him aside and tell him you do not like it, and tha t its not very nive to say that to anyone, and that if he carries on you will consider it as bullying at work, if you are afriad to confront write a letter and give it to him on monday, bcoz everyone wants to be happy at work bcoz we spent most of lives at work good luck, tell us what he says when u confront him. They is a help line for no to bullies at work if u want it.
  • bobbee16251
    bobbee16251 Hed1066

    Posted

    EVERYONE CAN HAVE A BAD DAY, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T PARK THE CAR IN A TREE OR ON TOP OF A BUILDING.
  • steeko
    steeko Hed1066

    Posted

    Sounds awful what your going through! Don't ever let anyone ever put you down.

    The people that tease and joke around like that are obviously very insecure about themselves! That's one thing I have learnt over time never let anyone get you down. Everyone deserves respect and if you are really upset about it. Report him to your boss, he/she will do something about it to make sure he will never look at you wrong again.

    Everyone goes through rough patches and I will cross my fingers for your husband not to lose his job. If the worst happens and he does, so what... as one door closes another opens. Money is not the answer to happiness just take a step back and you will realise everything doesnt seem as bad as you think. You have the man hopefully of your dreams and I hope you will get through this rough patch together!

    Good luck with everything!

    • Hed1066
      Hed1066 steeko

      Posted

      thanks Steeko. Fingers crossed everything will be OK. 

      The guy at work is a bit of an idiot, I should have put him in his place but didn't want to hurt his feelings. With luck, when it happens again, and it will, I'll have my put down ready

      thanks again

    • Richardt
      Richardt Hed1066

      Posted

      Are youy in this world dear you didnot want to hurt his feelings but he is hurting you and your family bcoz if u come miserable from work the whole house will not be happy, u have to tell in a nice manner.
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