Both depressed after a 13 year relationship ends?
Posted , 3 users are following.
I've never been on a forum before and not even sure if it has anything to do with depression, but I could do with some advice. I was in a same sex relationship for close to 13 years. I'm American but moved to England to be with her. Everything was fine until my girlfriend's dad died 5 years ago. She quickly changed and treated me badly. I know it's understandable & I by no means blame her but it tore us apart. She became secretive, started lying, partying and treating me more like her maid than a lover. She now devotes every waking moment to social media even taking her phone to the bathroom with her and talking to everyone but me on these apps while we were on hol, at concerts etc. She says she does it because she's bored but how could she be bored on hol etc? She's obviously addicted and I honestly believe she uses social media as a way of coping to keep her occupied because she never mourned her dad. In fact, the only time she speaks of him is through social media. I've always had low self esteem and jealously issues. The situation made me worse and I became convinced she was cheating because in my mind why else would she spend so much time on these apps especially when she stopped showing me attention. She swears she never cheated but our love life became non existent and we both stopped trying. I started to feel down and not myself so she suggested I go home in US for a 'break' so she could see how much I mean to her but assured me I'd be back. After 1 day, she shocked me by ending it saying she no longer loves me and completely ignored me. I told her I'm in love with her and would do anything to get her back but she acts like she couldn't care less and even told me she no longer wants to speak to me. The person I fell for would've fought for us and never let me go. I can't believe that a person could change that drastically without something being seriously wrong with them so I'm positive she's suffering from depression. While looking up the symptoms, I'm now sure that I have it too. It's been 2 months and I'm getting worse rather than better. I no longer enjoy anything, can't sleep, don't eat much and have had serious thoughts of suicide. I really don't know what to do and appreciate any help given. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.
1 like, 16 replies
deirdre._03652 NeedHelpPlz
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.it is awful to feel like you have a broken heart.......please please see.Your doctor as soon as possible..if you feel suicidal then you must go to straight to your hospital emergency department....you can also call and talk to SAMARITANS any time day or NIGHT
You must get help now for your own sake, health and peace of mind........ talking honestly can help to heal you. So maybe ask if there is a possibility that you could have counselling.
I truly wish you well xx take care of yourself xx warmest regards... DEIRDRE xx
NeedHelpPlz deirdre._03652
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celtics NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz celtics
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evergreen NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz evergreen
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I spoke to her mother yesterday for the 1st time since I left and she agrees with me fully that her daughters changed and she even said I deserve better, but the biggest blow was she subtly hinted that she has a boyfriend...Just when you think things can't get any worse. I've asked so many times if she had someone else and always had my suspicions because why else would you be on your phone 24/7, but she convinced me I was paranoid and jealous.
Our relationship was always one sided, she sent me away with nothing but a suitcase making me believe I was coming back so I didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone, potentially has a guy, destroyed my life forcing me start all over from scratch and what gets me the most is I'd have her back in a heartbeat. I'm so in love with her and utterly distraught that I can't even get mad...
evergreen NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz evergreen
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As for finding someone else, I'm not one bit interested. I've only ever wanted her. I know people say with time I will but I know I won't. She hasn't once asked me how I am and my birthday is in a few days so if she don't acknowledge it in any way then that will be the final straw in showing me she doesn't care in the slightest. It'll push me to the edge but it'll force me to delete all contact. Even though I know I deserve better, the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that she'll come to her senses, see what she's lost and fight for me but I guess I watch too much movies..
Life is extra hard when you're forced to move to another country with no friends, you've lost the love of your life to a dude, got nothing much but a suitcase and horrible feelings of despair but I'll have to grin and bare it
evergreen NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz evergreen
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We were supposed to be on my birthday holiday from today. She knows how I feel and she's had every chance to come here, but of course she hasn't so I'm positive I'll never see her again. This has forced me to re-evaluate myself and realise that my jealousy/trust issues stem from low self esteem. I can fix that. In fact the jealousy issues are completely meaningless to me now.
In my perfect world if she'd come here as the person she once was and prove that she loves me then I'd be with her no matter what. As much as it pains me to say this, I don't want anything to do with whoever she is now. It's funny how she's the 'bad one' and has come out trumps in the situation, not caring and having a great time while I couldn't be more unhappy but you know what? Someday I will and you know what they say about karma.
evergreen NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz evergreen
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I am still deeply in love with the woman she was and I always will be, but at the moment or even forever she's gone and I now understand that there's nothing I can do about that. She has to do it for herself. I can't sleep and I'm far from myself but my personal issues of jealousy etc have gotten better. I've realised life is to short and you never know when the last time you see someone is so why worry over petty things like jealousy. I can't even describe how devastated I am and now angry that she can't see what she's done but life has to go on for me...
jane6 NeedHelpPlz
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NeedHelpPlz jane6
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This has affected every aspect of my life. I can't even get out and meet people like everyone's telling me because she also made that hard by making me believe I was coming back to England so I left my important documents behind like SS #-birth certificate then she 'lost' everything for close to 2 weeks which held me back and now 1 of my documents was wrong so I'm going through the process of changing it which means I still can't get my license. It's a giant mess. Even my family can't believe my luck. Everytime I take a step forward, there's a giant leap back.
deirdre._03652 NeedHelpPlz
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You sound a very good hearted and empathetic, understanding person.... you will find the true love you deserve, I am sure of that....until that happens, be kind to yourself, pamper and treat yourself, even if is only to something simple like a lipstick...eat well, relax and try to sleep well, you......... WILL COME THROUGH THIS xx
I know it will be hard, but try not to carry hatred In your heart, don't talk badly of her, it will make you the better person....you will find a true love that appreciates you for your loyalty, kindness, CARING and truly nice person that you are.... tomorrow is the start of a whole new life.....I truly wish you all that you wish and hope for..Take care, regards to you. DEIRDRE xxx
NeedHelpPlz deirdre._03652
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Very true- tomorrow is the start of a whole new life. I'll try my best to embrace that...