Bouts of Depression

Thanks for your reply shiraz.

I have had previous spells of anxiety and i would say moments of depression years ago.

Recently i have had about 6 months of health anxiety. I didn't take meds and tried using natural suplements to learn and work through it. I did well but earlier in this new year i was then getting hit with these intense 45minute bouts of 'everything's wrong' feeling. So i started taking citalopram. 10mg for just under 2 weeks and now 20mg for the last week and a half.

As i lay here now in bed i'm not too bad but i don't feel truelly comfortable. My brain and body keeps thinking and feeling it's to do with my back/ muscles/brain or even diet related. I have eaten more bread last 3 days. I seem to have tension trigger spots all over. Then it passes and i feel a bit better.

Can't seem to get past it. I've read books about not fighting it and redirecting my thoughts. It seems for me it's just a time passing thing tho. Regardless of thoughts. Just want to feel 'normal'.

Do you have acidity and feeling chills all the time.

Do you smoke?

Keep in touch.

I slept okay last night but in general no i haven't been. The citalopram can cause that tho aswell. I was prescribed it by my doctor after a lengthy conversation and during a feeling of i couldn't handle it anymore. I don't smoke but used to for 10 years 14-24. No acidity or chills.

I guess my life in general kind of bothers me. My job has its big annoyances and stresses from people unnecessarily most of the time and constant changes being made. My home life is mixed. I don't feel i can really talk to my gf anymore as it stresses her out too much probably due to a while back when i was convinced it was a different thing each day. I question the relationship a lot and have done for years. But it's been good for us both aswell and a lot is my brain that can't seem to be content. Been together 7.5 years. Spent a lot of time together. Friends list has reduced over the years due to me rather staying in watching tv or something.

The bipolar thing is interesting. I have gone nights with 1 or 2 hours sleep and still gone through the day with more energy than i usually would have. Also when i get talking about something (like typing this) i seem to go into a kind of mode. It doesn't feel bad or good it's kind of 'on a roll' feeling.

Bless you, hope when yr home & can book an appt try find ouy whats causing these symptoms your health anxiety will improve x my niece is convinced she has a manner of things after finding her grandad really poorly @ his home 5 yrs ago & her last two relationships have suffered its a shame as shes a great girl but her partners couldnt cope .. she has a pulse oximeter bp machine diabetes glucose tester all to no avail. But she now is actually becoming ill with the stress causing gut problems anxiety & more xx

Really sorry to hear that. Tell her to hold on i'm sure she'll get there. Like i tell myself a lot.

Yeah i had similar thoughts about sugar levels and such. Mainly because after i eat i tend to feel relaxed and settled for a few hours. Altho sometimes that 45min feeling comes on regardless.

So annoying as i just want to know what it all is. Feels like i have a lot of the pieces of the puzzle but can't put them all together.

You cannot carry on like this. You have to know what you are suffering from. The body pain are from this condition. The body and the mind are connected.

Do you have any gut problems?

You will survive. Just book your appointment even if you don want to take the antidepressants which work with side effects. It is up to you?????

U know wat its hard work. I have had 3 yrs dental pain and treatment constant pain & antibiotics & that msny xrays in hosp & dentists they now think its my jaw... tmj or nerve pain. So have my tooth extractions? Painful root canal surgeries been fruitless!! Still only half way thru that jigsaw. Gallbladder removal too & only just getting a reduced amt of migraines after 23 yrs on a new drug regimen. Wow i feel for u too. It takes time and sure u will get the answers in the end but yes v.frustrating...

Good days and bad ones i can live with. We all just want some mental stability right?

Today has been okay mood wise. You have helped with that earlier on. Thank you.

Will keep u posted on how it goes.

Aww bless u i hope so. Xx ye definately kp me posted xx yeah its been awful painwise. The specialists pretty much didnt know wat to try next. Xx im on more tablets daily than a local pharmacy... even tho im not epileptic i was put on a regimen on drugs to try & having side effects tht i cn cope with but in 23 years the best result so far! Im on daily anti epileptics beta blockers huge doses of aspirin and triptans as reqd as a preventative treatment. How all these may/may not affect my tabs for my mental health is unclear but i couldnt live in excruciating pain either. Im also immune to most painkillers due to yrs of trying pain relief to stronger ones that while waiting for my gallbladder to be removed i was put on oral morphine for 6 weeks! So thankfully im in less pain now. If i cld rid myself of anxiety id be happy xxx

Ahh. wow. That's a lot going on there. Glad you're finally getting some relief. I found meditation has helped me with my anxiety and i didn't think it would before starting. Incase you haven't tried that is.

I haven't no. I did try acupuncture a few yrs ago but stopped going due to depression & not wanting to go out. Maybe ill try it. Xx thanks x hows the weekend away going?

The weekend went okay in the end. I also had a very good day yesturday. However i'm currently sitting at work and think i'm having a completely random anxiety attack. Feel it come from the stomach and then almost feel frozen to the spot with weakness. A bit short of breath too. then comes the headache/frazzled after feeling.

Haven't had one in a while so i guess i shouldn't complain. Just had enough of this going on and on.

Oh no. Xx i know wat ya mean. Its never ending x hope u finish wrk soon & this passes xx

It's weird because i'll be feeling okay. But say when i lay down my head feels different. Weird random things get stuck on repeat in my mind. That don't even make sense. Then i get up and i feel better.

It's been 4 and a half weeks on the citalopram now and although i've noticed improvement in some areas. I still have this feeling there is something wrong that needs to be found. My throat, chest and base of spine alternate between which it is. My mood is really mixed but mainly detached with 'lovely' fleeting moments of depression. All be it that has reduced...it still feels like it's there and i don't know why.

Sorry for delay hun was away at the weekend xx it could be health anxiety and the physical symptoms can feel so real but be quite scary xx but why not got to the drs just get an all over check up tell then how ur feeling & what. Then go from there xxx ?

Yeah. Will arrange an appointment for next week. I've generally had a better week this week. Just some symptoms aren't going. Still feel very real. Especially my throat and sinuses when i lay down. My thoughts and thinking then go very weird (Weirder than my normal weird self).

Well it's weird i have found myself at work reverting to how i was when i was younger. Just wanting to have a laugh, winding people up a bit and always looking for a joke or to do an impression ect. I have always been a bit like this but it feels more prominent now. You know, its better than the depression feeling and or the anxious feeling. I work in carework for a day service and have been there for nearly 6 years.

This is more of an observation rather than 'oh no what's wrong'. I guess i feel bored often and that entertains me.

Is this a medication thing? i guess i feel quite excited at the time but it also feels quite weird.

Like nothing really matters anyway these are just soundbites that get forgotten quickly and everything moves on.

I've been getting that feeling quite a lot too. When i see films of actors from a few years ago...or 'oh here a latest one from so and so...' It's like time passes so what's the point of everything that everyones doing. I'm not suicidal or anything. Just find it all quite difficult to make sense of.

Ohh i see. I often feel a bit like that as in like happy overly so like u said @ work n u think have i gone on too much n stuff like that. In my case i think its half the longterm meds n the rest my personality coming thru. Those times i feel well & wen im not laughin n jokin its apparent my depression is starting so i really cant make full sense of it to be honest! X