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20 year old male here - I've been stuggling with anxiety and panic attacks for about 5 months now and lately it has taken a really bad turn. For the past month, I've been getting a lot of 'brain fog' which has been making it harder for me to recover. I'd basically feel a little detatched from reality, like I'm in this dream-like state.
A couple of weeks ago, (for the first time) I got prescribed sertraline (zoloft) 50mg. I got awful side effects from this, including heightened anxiety and I had some suicidal thoughts as well. I stopped taking them after 6 days as instructed by my doctor because I was having a really bad reaction to them. I lost a stone and a half in a week! (I became underweight, so it's a bad thing haha)
I stopped taking them a week ago today so it's all out of my system. I'm no longer getting side effects and I feel like I can actually function again. However, I'm kind of back to how I was before the medication. I feel very tired and distant and I feel like I just can't think or anything. It's weird. I think it's called dissociation or something.
Basically I'm having these episodes of intense anxiety again (that I've only experienced while on the meds) where I get these intrusive thoughts about killing myself, even though I never would. I think life is worth living, I'm not depressed but I just get these bouts of emotional distress that make me feel like one day I will resolve to suicide. It's really hard to explain. I'm trying to say I'm not suicidal, I just have an overwhelming fear of becoming suicidal, because lately I feel like I'm stepping in that territory if that makes sense.
Whenever I bring this up to someone they say 'I need to seek urgent help', which worries me more! I will NOT attempt suicide! If I felt like I would, I would call the hospital have them take care of me. I'll even call a lifeline, I just wouldn't attempt suicide. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy lately, I feel like I might be driven to suicide, and that is what is freaking me out. Sorry, but this is so hard to explain! haha
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