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boyfriend confusing me

Posted , 5 users are following.

sarah67295
sarah67295

hi i been with my boyfriend nearly 3 mths we both have history of depression ,he became distant with me i asked has he lost interest in me ,he said he dont no how he feels anymore but that hes stressed out with alot of problems at the minute with work and other stuff and kept saying its not my fault ...i took this as a break up text and my sister gave him hell with it than i get a text saying he has not broke up with me he has no plans to be finished with me and that everything has got out of control made his day worse and today ive not heard nothing off him..ive been a mess cant eat have not got out bed all day this is making me ill why is he doing this to me what can i do 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • tess33005
    tess33005 sarah67295

    Posted

    Ignore him for a few days. Don't try to contact him at all. He'll soon be back if he realises you're not going to take these mixed messages any longer'

    If he doesn't call you or contact you, then you'll know for sure that he isn't interested in your elatiionship any longer.

    I know it's heartbreaking but you need to be strong and wait till a better man asks you out.

  • sarah67295
    sarah67295

    Posted

    all he says is hes the one with stress and stuff going on and thats its only him that can sort it out he wont even tell me what is wrong ..but he dont realise its making me ill but ill take your advice 
    • tess33005
      tess33005 sarah67295

      Posted

      Oh dear. If he doesn't realise that he's making you ill, then he has no empathy.

      Don't lete him back into your life - he won't change.

    • sarah67295
      sarah67295 tess33005

      Posted

      reason he dont know is cos there has been to contact today i have not text him as think if hes got stuff going on than deal with it but ive done nothing but stress and worry today 
  • allison30388
    allison30388 sarah67295

    Posted

    Have an up front discussion with him on what the issues are on both sides and what you two will do help mitigate that when it happens again. If he doesn't want to try then he doesn't want to try and move on. Just try not to sound accusational if you can help it, it's a sensitive topic for the both of you and pointing fingers is the last thing to do in this situation. If anything, maybe go to couples counseling.
  • lillie46665
    lillie46665 sarah67295

    Posted

    You should understand this if you also have depression

    Lil

    • tess33005
      tess33005 lillie46665

      Posted

      This is true, Lil, but this is a relationship that's only being going for three months, and personally I feel that Sarah should forget about this guy.  He knows she has depression but he does nothing to help her.

      And Allison's suggestion that they go to couples counselling is spot on.  I have a feeling this man will not agree to go, leaving Sarah to be even more upset and distressed. I don't WANT Sarah to feel any worse  than she already does - of course not - but at least she will find out if her boyfriend has strong enough feelings to go with her.

    • lillie46665
      lillie46665 tess33005

      Posted

      I appreciate your opinion with my depression I have pushed away everyone partners family friends. Some people with depression just cannot be helpful to a partner who has depression.

      I know it is hard enough for me to get through the day without having someone else with the same problem to help

      Just my thoughts

      Take Care

      Lil

    • tess33005
      tess33005 lillie46665

      Posted

      Aw!!! Lil, you can PM me if things get bad and you just need a listening ear.

      My own depression lasted three years, but I recovered. I actually recovered 17 years ago, and the depression never came back. Love Tess

  • tess33005
    tess33005 sarah67295

    Posted

    Hi Sarah,

    Some of us have posted some suggestions which we hope will help you. If things get worse, please come back to the forum so that we can support you. Love Tess

  • Leah55
    Leah55 sarah67295

    Posted

    Hi Sweetie,

    ​What you CAN  do is not have your total identity in a man!  I speak from experience!  Please don't give that power to him!  Live for YOU!  Be the wonderful young woman God made you to be and let him work on his issues.  If he's "messing with your mind," don't let him.   Be yourself.  Make goals for yourself, even if it's just day by day.  I myself have to take each day as it comes.  We're here for you.  Leah

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