Breaking point
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hi,
I suppose I'm just writing this to get it off my chest because I don't really think anything can help me.
I'm so tired of this life, tired of being unhappy, tired of being stressed out and tired of being tired.
I've stayed at home since Thursday evening and I didn't leave my flat until today because I ran out of food. I'm so low I cant work so all my bills are piling up. I've been in bed since Thursday and I have no energy. Lately I have this reoccurring thought ' you could slit your wrists and no one would know. And by the time anyone figured it out it will be too late.'
I've been spending time thinking of ways to end my life without it being too painful. I've tried to overdose twice before but then I don't know it feels so final and then I end up getting someone to take me to the hospital. I just can't face living another week or month like this. I've been through so many bad things and they keep coming. It just plays in my head on repeat and I think about all the bad things. I have no joy and no hope.
I ask God to take me almost every night before I go to sleep because I don't want to live another day. I cross the street hoping a car would hit me. Medication can't fix my situation so I don't bother taking them. Life is just too hard and I'm tired of fighting.
1 like, 19 replies
deirdre._03652 jammydogger
Posted
Do not leave this, it is vitally important that someone is aware of and understands just how unhappy you are..
There are many new medications that can help dramatically, also as a last resort a stay in a clinic to remove all the pressure of you..
I was sectioned four times, it completely turned my life around...and gave me my life back....I have been on antidepressants for about ten years and have found them a massive, massive help..
I know just how hopeless life can seem and out of control, but it can and will change for the better...
Act -NOW, PLEASE xx you will be in my thoughts I promise you..all the best wishes in the world, and Great Big warm hugs to you...Deirdre xx
Please keep in touch..xxx
maggie80535 jammydogger
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ben57892 jammydogger
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Hospital Accident and Emergency Services are a place where Crisis Mental Health can be found.
Is there anyone who can help or go with you?
Best wishes.
craig80602 jammydogger
Posted
anne240 jammydogger
Posted
I have battled for 30 years with depression. I say fight, fight, don't let the depression win. I have lost everything because of depression, but I battle on as best I can.
I have found the strength to fight, even though I am now a little old lady. Not strong, but not wanting life to end, however bad I feel. Yes I have taken an overdose, and I have been in a psychiatric hospital. Been on lots of different anti depressants.
I do know how you feel, honestly.
What treatment are you getting? Have you support?
I know at the moment there is no hope, but it will pass. Try very hard to ride through this bad patch. Keep writing to us here.
Bless you, and I really care about you.
jammydogger
Posted
I've decided just to end it all. I'm in too much pain , I haven't been out of bed today. I haven't even had a wash in two days. There's no hope for me
craig80602 jammydogger
Posted
ben57892 jammydogger
Posted
The bad thoughts you have are a symptom of this illness, I've had them too.
Keep talking my friend, good advice and support here.
deirdre._03652 jammydogger
Posted
Depression is like living in a deep dark hole, horrendous !!!
I went for weeks and at times months !! WITHOUT washing or changing my clothes...WHICH was night wear, not day clothing, that took too much effort....I never, ever thought that I would feel normal or happy again..but I do!!!!! And you can also, please don't give up , like the other poster said. If it is overwhelming..then go straight to your casualty dept, they have a duty of care for you..
Please have you no one that you could trust enough to accompany you ?.you would be greatly missed if you did anything extreme....you are in my thoughts, huge hugs to you, Deirdre xx
katie19337 jammydogger
Posted
i Have a plan to help remind me what to do to get better. I know that small steps will help us get better. My plan Is as follow:
Contact my gp surgery or cpn if I need them
get up every day
have a shower or at least wash my face and brush teeth and hair
eat breakfast, lunch and dinner - even if this is fruit,yogurt,cereal,toast, soup, ready meals.
take medication - keep contact/visit gp until feeling better.
Ask for counselling or CBT
take a short walk each day.
keep a journal to write down how you are feeling. Try to write at least one good or positive thing that has happened to you each day.
i know all these things seem so hard when you are low. Getting in touch about your bills / getting in touch with citizens advice could help take pressure off you. Advocacy service for your area could help you speak to people or speak on your behalf and make sure your voice is heard when you are vulnerable.
Please know that you will get better, please keep in touch, please take good care of yourself x
craig80602 jammydogger
Posted
jammydogger
Posted
I am going attempt to go food shopping and I have to go to bank and I cannot believe how hard it is for just to do that. I'm desperate not to see anyone that knows me. But I'm going do the best I can until I feel a bit better. I don't hold out much hope for feeling better but anything is better than this.
craig80602 jammydogger
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ben57892 jammydogger
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jim97325 jammydogger
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donna_03931 jim97325
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I am also going through a rough patch, super anxious and agitated. I work in substance misuse so come across this all the time which is what made me realise that I'm probably burnt out.
I suppose I'm replying for reassurance. I have been given mirtazipine by my gp following a bad reaction to sertraline. I'm wondering how you found it, any side effects and whether it's helped? I am now questioning whether I can ever support people again.
Sorry to hassle you, just feel that I need some reassurance from someone who has been there!
Thanks
jim97325 donna_03931
Posted
donna_03931 jim97325
Posted
Thanks again 😊