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Breaking point

Posted , 8 users are following.

jammydogger
jammydogger

Hi,

I suppose I'm just writing this to get it off my chest because I don't really think anything can help me.

I'm so tired of this life, tired of being unhappy, tired of being stressed out and tired of being tired.

I've stayed at home since Thursday evening and I didn't leave my flat until today because I ran out of food. I'm so low I cant work so all my bills are piling up. I've been in bed since Thursday and I have no energy. Lately I have this reoccurring thought ' you could slit your wrists and no one would know. And by the time anyone figured it out it will be too late.'

I've been spending time thinking of ways to end my life without it being too painful. I've tried to overdose twice before but then I don't know it feels so final and then I end up getting someone to take me to the hospital. I just can't face living another week or month like this. I've been through so many bad things and they keep coming. It just plays in my head on repeat and I think about all the bad things. I have no joy and no hope.

I ask God to take me almost every night before I go to sleep because I don't want to live another day. I cross the street hoping a car would hit me. Medication can't fix my situation so I don't bother taking them. Life is just too hard and I'm tired of fighting.

1 like, 19 replies

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  • jammydogger
    jammydogger

    Posted

    I've been put back on Citalopram so I'll see how that goes. To be fair I don't actually remember what it is like not to feel rubbish. There aren't any local groups close to me but I don't actually want to have to deal with anyone just. I'm going to work because I have to so hey ho!
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