Posted , 6 users are following.
im a 21 year old male , just compelted thh second year of university the hardest of my life. Let me explain throughout first year my nose was scared in a accident , As the knows is cartalige it was a keloid scar which people know looks horribly and disfigured although after 3-4 dermatology operations i was becoming my old self. From february to october november first year of living in halls of dealing with people i hardly know on a day to day basis getting judged and hearing conversations of what the hells that on his nose. Im so proud i overcame this. Im now in a relationship, football team and love life. a month a go i was at a friends leaving party. I had drank to much and fallen asleep on the sofa where i awoke to my forehead being on fire, i dont know if it was on purpose or some sick joke but i never received an apology and ive never truley woken up from that day. but im in the worst whole of my life again. I cant think straight, do day to day activites, ive thought about getting a knife and cutting the person up who did this to me or shooting him before i take my own life. My face is horribly damaged and the thoughts are worse than ever as i hate doctors who dont take you seriously or cant actually offer you help. Ive visit the same dermatologist to help although its compeltely differnt this situation. My life was in birmingham now im back home and the anxiety is beyond belief returning to birmingham. Im heading away with my girlfriend who im so scared to see in a week and ive told her about it although she said she doesnt care i know she will which is why my last relationship eneded. Every morning i rattle with anger punching things , scared, insecure, helpless. feeling like a burden on my mum who ive put through so much as i try to explain how i feel but she wont understand. Without her i wouldnt of lasted this far and now i really dont see any hope for me. The packet of drugs are right there and to take 30- 40 in 2 mins seems so easier than being with my girlfirend traveling the world when im so frightend to walk to the shop 5 mins away as i get horrible comments. Please advise me on something , theres not much that can be said i understand but right now im at rockbottom , i feel the presuure , ive quit my job , football team and i think uni and my gf are next .. then my life can end or i can the end the person whose done this to me just to have some peace or something
3 likes, 7 replies