Can depression and anxiety make you not love someone?

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This is a long story I’m just hoping to find some answers from someone who has maybe been dealing with the same thing. So I’ve met this perfect girl we have been together for a year and a half now and we always talked about the future and planned things out. She’s literally my dream girl but a little back story I was taking zoloft when we first got together but decided to quit taking it cold turkey due to sexual side effects. I was okay for awhile but right after Christmas I woke up and started having doubts and asking my self “do I love this girl” and those thoughts truly kill me inside. I fell into a deep depression and just can’t really picture the future anymore like I once did.  I search the internet for answers and Ive been stressing about this for quite some time I’m currently seeing a psychiatrist and am back on an SSRI and I’ve been on it for about 4 weeks now and I’m just wondering if depression and anxiety can make you think you don’t love someone or feel the same way? Will I get back to myself? Some days are better than others with her but I’m still pretty depressed and don’t feel like myself I’ve lost interest sexually and just don’t really have any interest in anything. Please help 

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  • Posted


    I can sympathise with a lot of what you are going through, having recently found my way out of a depression, although I'm still taking prescription drugs.

    I would never go "cold turkey" on these sort of drugs so please don't try that when the time comes that you feel you can do without them. (I thought my GP was being a bit over-cautious when he said it might take six months to come off, but when you feel that life is on the up it doesn't matter that much how quickly you stop).

    I would stop looking on Google for help on depression- you won't find anything but some facts ( that may not be appropriate to you) opinions of others, and what other people have found helped them ( a bit like here!).

    If you do still want to look for help on Google why not look for "positive affirmations" ?  Lots of people think these are "woolly" thinking but if you can just start each day with something like "I'm so looking forward to today" or "I'm so grateful I have found my perfect girl"  and repeat whenever you start getting a "down" thought - as I call them - things will begin to take a more positive look.

    Remember the biggest positive in your life is that you have already found your perfect girl!!  So focus on that wonderful event -and find something, however small, -to be grateful for each day, and go to sleep being grateful for that one thing.

    You have done better than I, and many others, have - and it's taken me 3 tries so far, and I'm currently  single!

    It will take some time, if you can do that every day life will improve.

    One thing - don't think this is an easy fix - it took me a lot of focus just to say my affirmation when I started to feel down  -but stick with the same one for 3 weeks to a month before finding a new daily affirmation.

    I still do one of these each day and keep a gratitude journal to write all the things I found to be grateful for that day

    - after all if you were a professional footballer you wouldn't stop practising between matches and stay good at your craft!


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    • Posted

      Yeah I realize it was a big mistake to quit cold turkey. I’ve been keeping a journal and writing down how I feel at the end of the day so hopefully it kind of starts to look up from here. Thank you for your response and I will definitely stay off google searching for answers because it kind of feeds my anxiety and worries. 
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  • Posted

    Hi I totally agree with not going the cold turkey route!  The thought of it makes me shudder.  The official advice about ad's is that you continue taking them until you have felt better for at least 6 months.  Even then coming off them can bring your depression back.  It's trial and error.  

    I hope the ones you are on now help you.  x

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    • Posted

      Yeah I was on zoloft for years actually.. but my psychiatrist considered I took “genesight testing” which has helped quite a bit. The test shows which antidepressants will work best for your body it kind of eliminates the trial and error period! But yeah I’m slowly getting better as the days go on. Thank you for your advice! 

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