Can't stand this Health Anxiety anymore...
Posted , 10 users are following.
Im a 20 year old male and I swear its always something new... and somehow I can fully convince myself that I am suffering from the catastrophic illness my mind makes and thinking about the stages of the disease as well as my future being affected...i will give an example of how my thinking process works...
For example, today I felt some type of burning sensation in my throat and throughout random conversations I felt like my voice was being interrupted by a scratchy feeling that burned the back of my throat. Now I could simply disregard it and say to myself that the causes can be from a cold,infection,irritation...OR something that sounds normal like my post nasal drip affecting my throat around this time of season BUT NO...What does my mind think??
My mind tells me I could possibly have laryngecial cancer and I don't know how I will live with myself if they have to remove my larynx and I can never use my voice again...but then I take a step back.. I think maybe it has nothing to do with my larnyx and my throat is just irritated..Then I think...well I have been having issues with my voice now for a couple months, I cant hit the same notes I was hitting only a couple months ago..It doesn't sound the same..Whenever sitting I make a wheezing sound but with my voice sometimes without even realising..that means somethings definately wrong with my larynx and it's probably cancer... Now Im waiting for the weekend to be over so I can make an ENT appointment to get my throat checked...
Please be aware this is just my thinking process..Im not saying I fully convinced myself I have developed this type of illness..Its just what my mind goes through when I feel these tiny symptoms throughout the day..
AND Its not just that.. Just yesterday I scared myself with the thought that I could have melanoma growing on my nose because of a small dot that looked suspicious to me.. My dad having suffered from melanoma ofcourse is another reason in my thinking process being so extreme..
Week after Week..Its either a brain tumour (Which I had an MRI for)...having some type of catasrophic cancer...vision issues making me think im going blind..Nerve issues making me think im losing a limb..etc etc
I am a 20 year old medically cleared male..Nonsmoker,nondrinker,excerising daily and My doctor tells me im healthier then he is. However these day to day symptoms I feel that could be something so minor I can disregard end up affecting me throughout my entire day because of my thinking process that tends to grow everything more then it needs to be.
I know you are probably going to say I need to be on medication. However my health anxiety being to this extreme makes me think that putting a substance in my body is going to have a much more negative affect then positive because im "altering" the chemicals in my brain and don't want to feel the side effects of drugs the doctor will decide to put me on. In all honesty it just scares me. I know you will say I need it but this is something very tough for me to give in on even though my doctors/therapist tell me I need. I just need some advice on how to fix my thinking process so I don't assume the worst and so I can survive this weekend before convincing myself my throat has cancer.... I already know this symptom will probably go away like the rest of them do and it will be something else before the weekend is even over...I just want a peace of mind so I can go back to my life in peace without this overwhelming fear of illness.
0 likes, 11 replies
nicola_01942 mike996
Posted
mike996 nicola_01942
Posted
Wow! its crazy how your situation seems so similar to mine. Its comforting in a sense knowing im not the only one with this type of extreme thinking. Ofcourse however I hope you find a way to overcome this awful health anxiety so you can return to living a normal worry free life. Are the medications doing any good? I would like to know from someone experiencing the same thing I go through and how you feel after finally accepting the medication as I know its something very hard for me to do. I know exactly how you feel.. I get sick to my stomach thinking I have developed some type of terminal illness and will suffer something catastrophic at a young age. I am definately aware of my bad habits and any symptom I feel i tend to "water the weeds" and grow them out to be more then they really need to be thought of. Its a terrible thing to go through and I wish no one has to go through this. A lot of people don't understand and think its ridiculous of me to think a certain way and go to the doctor often but they don't understand the torment on a daily basis that people like us go through. I started CBT but haven't really felt different..We'll just see how it goes. I wish you the best in finding a way to combat this life of living in fear as I know how debilitating this type of lifestyle gets. Wishing you the best!
nicola_01942 mike996
Posted
Totally get you... people dont understand , i have a brilliant family and a brilliant partner and two beautiful children but even my family have had enough now because when i got over one "illness" another one takes its place. Ive only just starte on the meds on Thursday as i was in the doctors and was such a mess thinking ive got cervical cancer ive asked her to refer me to gyne, she said maybe we need to give meds a shot... believe me ive not wanted to take them just like you but sometimes we just have to try and accept an alternative when talking therapy doesnt work . Im on Paxil and at the min the side effects havent been too bad ive just felt sick and had a bit of the poos 🙈 haha. I was petrified of taking them as i didnt want to and was so scared of the side effects but ive had to do it as i need to try and get bk to the outgoing, loud , happy mum and partner i used to be before i was plagued with this terrible anxiety 2 and a half years ago. Im only 29 and this started when i was 27 and its awful... i hear of someone young have a terrible illness and it totally consumes me and think im going to get something and the same is going to happen to me. Your not alone there is so many people like us. I would say stick to the CBT and see if it works for you... but never say never to meds as sometimes we need that extra bit of help when something else doesnt work. I thought id be a weak person to accept meds but that is totally not the case, i know a lot of people that take them and it works for them... just to get your mind on a level as sometimes like my doctor said it can be a chemical imbalance in the brain and it just needs a bit of help to level you out, but never feel alone because your not 😊👍 x
Nab183 mike996
Posted
I am exactly the same, the other day I had my arm in an awkward position which caused pins and needles - I immediately worried that I was having a stroke and completely dismissed the fact that I had my arm in a weird position causing it.
I have now decided to tell myself that if I feel a pain or weird sensation just to totally dismiss it (within reason of course) and if the pain is still there 24 hours later I can then look further in to it.. surprisingly enough it always goes which then helps for the next flood or worry because I can reference back to the time before. - Give it a go, hope this helps.
kim59492 mike996
Posted
I know exactly how you feel. I have health anxiety which has been exasperated since I lost my beloved father in the summer.
I do actually feel pain and symptoms. I itch all over. I'm dizzy every day. My balance is way off. I'm convinced I have cancer everywhere I have pain. I'm waiting on an op on my womb the doctor has said not to worry it's nothing serious. The wait has been agony as I have been mentally making preparations for my funeral. It's laughable if it wasn't so debilitating and tiring me out. I'm about to start an antidepressant again. My dr says I need to be getting to grips with this anxiety now otherwise I'm gonna tip into full blown depression. I don't know what to suggest to you apart from maybe thinking about a short term course of antidepressants to get you through this. It's hard to talk to others because unless you have this irrational behaviour people think you are nuts and need to pull yourself out of it. But when you have such a deep thought process in grained that's easier said than done. Good luck.
ihavenonickname mike996
Posted
Hi Mikeyme,
You have a fabulous ability to write. You made me sad. You made me laugh...not at you, but rather with you.
My question is: why does throat cancer have to end badly...why can't you recover? Use that fabulously hyperactive thought process to write happy endings.
I too have a hyperactive brain. Heck, I can sit in an empty, blank, dark room with nothing to look at and my brain will find something to do over stimulates it My brain needs a problem to solve. For me, education as in learning something new gives my brain a constructive goal.
When your brain runs, pull out your puter and write Then read what you have written and niw rewrite the story with a happy ending. Teach yourself happy.
I understand...kind regards
judith
anxietysite123 mike996
Posted
Mine is a complete phobia of heart attacks. I dont know what happened, but i suddenly woke up one day terrified of my heart rate. Its suddenly fast, which maybe it was always fast, I enever cared to check before.
Now I get daily chest pains, heartburn, fast pulse, etc. Its awful. But like you said, they go a way at some point, then something new comes along.
I know you're nervous to take meds.. I was to. But you have to realize that they do help. You will be way more anxious for a week or two, but then you will start to feel relief. If you don't want meds, that's fine too. Therapy, yoga, meditation are all known to help. But you really do need therapy if you refuse meds. Once you get to the root of your anxiety, you will learn to cope much better.
(oh and whatever you do, do not Google side effects to meds or read the leaflet you get with them if you decide to go on meds.. Trust me, you will suddenly begin to have every single side effect because your mind is aware of what you read.)
charlie_62761 anxietysite123
Posted
I'm with you there. 18, total phobia of heart attacks. Was on Zoloft, went off it, back on it now and the initial surge in anxiety that comes with it is making me go nuts thinking I'm about to drop dead from a heart attack.
nicola_01942 charlie_62761
Posted
Im the same tonight... i just randomly got really short of breath and felt pressure at top of abdomen, i keep yawning now to catch a deep breath. Had this before but sure my heart is gunna pack in 😫 sooo bloody annoying, started on Paxil on Thursday and ive had a couple of side effects off that like nausea and trips to the loo 🙈 haha x
jesus_68966 charlie_62761
Posted
I was on zoloft also i stopped it, made me feel horrible i'm going to work on battling with out any meds as i was fine before the panic attacks
borderriever mike996
Posted
Try a few salt or mouthwash gargles and see if that will clear your problem. It is a real problem if you are always worrid that you may have cancer because you are unable to reach music notes you could peek at, that could be caused by your voice has broken a little later than expected, and a gargle may help. I now personally feel look that are common before something is cancerous, you are still young and it is better to look for the easy way out of a problem in the first instance.
Talk to your GP as I do suppose you will not accept an easy option and will still consider the worse before the straight forward.
Try salt mouth washes over the weekend then mak your appointment on Monday
B.