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Im a 20 year old male and I swear its always something new... and somehow I can fully convince myself that I am suffering from the catastrophic illness my mind makes and thinking about the stages of the disease as well as my future being affected...i will give an example of how my thinking process works...
For example, today I felt some type of burning sensation in my throat and throughout random conversations I felt like my voice was being interrupted by a scratchy feeling that burned the back of my throat. Now I could simply disregard it and say to myself that the causes can be from a cold,infection,irritation...OR something that sounds normal like my post nasal drip affecting my throat around this time of season BUT NO...What does my mind think??
My mind tells me I could possibly have laryngecial cancer and I don't know how I will live with myself if they have to remove my larynx and I can never use my voice again...but then I take a step back.. I think maybe it has nothing to do with my larnyx and my throat is just irritated..Then I think...well I have been having issues with my voice now for a couple months, I cant hit the same notes I was hitting only a couple months ago..It doesn't sound the same..Whenever sitting I make a wheezing sound but with my voice sometimes without even realising..that means somethings definately wrong with my larynx and it's probably cancer... Now Im waiting for the weekend to be over so I can make an ENT appointment to get my throat checked...
Please be aware this is just my thinking process..Im not saying I fully convinced myself I have developed this type of illness..Its just what my mind goes through when I feel these tiny symptoms throughout the day..
AND Its not just that.. Just yesterday I scared myself with the thought that I could have melanoma growing on my nose because of a small dot that looked suspicious to me.. My dad having suffered from melanoma ofcourse is another reason in my thinking process being so extreme..
Week after Week..Its either a brain tumour (Which I had an MRI for)...having some type of catasrophic cancer...vision issues making me think im going blind..Nerve issues making me think im losing a limb..etc etc
I am a 20 year old medically cleared male..Nonsmoker,nondrinker,excerising daily and My doctor tells me im healthier then he is. However these day to day symptoms I feel that could be something so minor I can disregard end up affecting me throughout my entire day because of my thinking process that tends to grow everything more then it needs to be.
I know you are probably going to say I need to be on medication. However my health anxiety being to this extreme makes me think that putting a substance in my body is going to have a much more negative affect then positive because im "altering" the chemicals in my brain and don't want to feel the side effects of drugs the doctor will decide to put me on. In all honesty it just scares me. I know you will say I need it but this is something very tough for me to give in on even though my doctors/therapist tell me I need. I just need some advice on how to fix my thinking process so I don't assume the worst and so I can survive this weekend before convincing myself my throat has cancer.... I already know this symptom will probably go away like the rest of them do and it will be something else before the weekend is even over...I just want a peace of mind so I can go back to my life in peace without this overwhelming fear of illness.
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