Can things ever get better?

Posted , 5 users are following.

I'm young so i know i should be happy and thankful that i have so many years left, but my life is going nowhere. I have lost the abillity to feel happiness. I have no friends( haven't had since i was around 12) I don't know how i talk to people. I have also lost the will to talk to people, but at the same time i still really want some friends.  I'm so desperate, lonely and sad. I have even sunk so low that i'm starting to consider going into prostitution. I'm 18 and i'm going to graduate soon, which means less chance to ever getting to know anyone. 

My family doesn't understand what i'm going through and they get angry that i'm so unsociable.

I just really want a friend. I don't care about relatonship, marriage kids etc. I just want someone to love me and care about me and be there for me.

I feel so unwanted. Is there a chance that things will get better? Is there any genuinely nice people left?

I just feels so sad and i don't know what to do...

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Yes, things will get better. If you want to fast track things improving, you should start therapy with a counselor. This will help you better communicate what is going on to your parents which will have the effect of them being more supportive.

    It will also eventually help you see the root of your problems so you can better cope with them. When you are happier, socializing becomes more natural. When you are unhappy, you want to be alone and protected so socializing is non existent.

    You are not the only one to feel this way, it gets easier as you get older as well. Please go to therapy and start your healing.

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  • Posted

    Hi oxxx, oh bless you young lady, believe me, I know how hard it is to be cripplingly shy....why don't you have a word with your GP, you may find that some antidepressants and some anti anxiety drug's would help a great deal...it is awful to feel isolated when all around you appear to be confident and enjoying life....

    Why don't you try to do some voluntary work....such as tidying up the canal paths, or such like...you meet people under no pressure and you can make many, many friends...also, something like helping the homeless, you could do so much good, and it would help with your confidence....there are always organisations that need help , you do not l have to be the life and soul of the party, but it is easier to meet and make friends in those situations....

    Choirs..or amateur acting are also an option...

    You are worth as much as anyone else, and you deserve happiness....by the way, I married.I have three sons and one daughter, and also a beautiful baby grandson...six months old, and I was once exactly like you......I wish you happiness and send you hugs....Deirdre xxx...

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  • Posted

    Yes things can get better with time and remember what a wise man said... "Happiness is the default state of mind. So when our mind becomes calm and clear, it returns to its default, and that default is happiness". That is it. There is no magic, you are simply returning the mind to its natural state. Happiness is not something that you pursue, it is something you allow. Happiness is just being.

    ​I think you have made the first step in your recovery by joining this forum and opening up to people. Hopefully you can take another step and speak to someone face to face or on a helpline. Is there a counsellor at the place where you are studying? 

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  • Posted

    Hi I am sorry you are feeling like this and I agree with the other responders.

    One thing I will say though that friendship is a 2 way thing.  If you want someone to love and care for you and be there for you then you need to be able to do the same back for them.   Would you?  Can you?   Something to think about.  x

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  • Posted

    Hello Oxxx,

    First of all let me just commend you for how brave you are. It's not easy and would take a lot of courage to open up your heart to complete strangers. Please don't lose hope in finding love. Just as you said you're still young, you shouldn't rush in love.

    Now regarding you're shyness, I know how difficult in can be to socialize personally to other individuals and how frustrating it can be that others can't understand how it is. But don't worry confidence and communication skills can be acquired.

    What I would suggest is, you should go and have counseling. Therapy can have a great impact on how you think. You can gain proper perspective and motivation thru counseling.

    Try working on reducing your loneliness, participate in activities that younfind fun and you can be passionate about. You're gonna met a lot more people so don't worry about not having friends. Eventually you'll find them. Keep your head up high. Keep smiling. If you ever need someone to talk to, we are here for you.

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