Can you tell me how to make Friends with so many limitations?

Posted , 10 users are following.

I have become a home body and miss being able to get out of the house and enjoy hanging out with friends, example (girls night out or girl talk.) Since I am no longer that person and have so many limits I never know how I will feel from one minute to the next. I get invited to do things some times but not able to most of the time. I dont expect people to say it's ok every time. My husband is a blessing ,my best friend and loving to me.

I just miss having female friendship. Im not able to be there when they may need me to. Does any body feel the same?

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  • Posted

    Hi Blue16

    I totally feel the same. I have literally no friends. If it wasn't for my daughter and family I would have no one.

    I'm not sure what the answer is but like you I've had potential friends invite me to things but I almost always cancel. People get fed up asking. Some are understanding and others not so understading.

    Depression can be lonely.

    Take care

    L x

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  • Posted

    Wish I could help. I am having the same problem. I really have no friends. Also have no family close by. My one friend is always doing things with her family. I sometimes think she uses that excuse not to go out with me. I do have a husband but he doesn’t like to do anything but watch tv. I am so bored. I get anxious and feel lost around groups of people. I always feel left out even at work. If someone knows how to get around that I would love to know. 
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    • Posted

      Thank you deb87510, I feel the same, lost around people. Dont want to talk to people I dont know because I fumble over my words, forget names or forget what I was talking about.
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  • Posted

    Blue, It's so hard and it really does take time to back back into the swing of things. I sometimes think that there should be some kind of "reintegration therapy" for those of us that have gone through a rough patch with our mental health. Please be reassured that we ALL find it easier to stay in! I'm a lot better now and still find excuses. 

    The only way to test out your social capabilities though, is to actually do it. I find that the fear is always worse than the event. If you can bring yourself to go out, the congratulations you can give yourself afterwards is SO worth it! Overcome those nerves and come home feeling amazing, yes?! A massive help is to confide in someone that you might need to just leave. Know that even people not suffering with depression are also nervous about going out. Once you've vocalised your possible need to go early, you'll find that the pressure is off, honestly. 

    Our amazing female friends are all going through their own stuff, by getting together with them you'll be able to help, and feel more balanced about your own issues, I promise. Just be really honest with yourself - can you manage an hour? If so, that's OK! Start small, but start xxx

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    • Posted

      Thank you katehippy the "reintegration therapy" ?would be  a good idea.  I feel safe when I stay in because I don't have to explain myself or let people know I have to leave. Its hard enough with family.  

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    • Posted

      Angel, just know that everyone is going through their own s**t and if you can give the time, they can give you their story. I know that you'll feel like there's no room for anything else, but honestly, if you can get out and have a "normal" conversation with another person everyday, you CAN conquer this. Family is something totally different ... You can't judge how the majority think by how your family are! My family are very judgemental and think that I'm the only one with a problem... Thank God for your lovely husband xx

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  • Posted

    Are there any clubs or places to go with your husband where you could meet new people together.

    We always do things together, we are one item that do everything together.

    One diversion you may try is dancing, I used to Ballroom Dance, Latin, Modern, Old time and loved it. Look for things you can both do you will meet couples.

    Whatever you decide, go to the Library or whatever they will have lists of Organisations you could join. Give it a try

    Good Luck

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Meetup.com is worth looking at.  There are often social groups in addition to specific activity groups and as you don't know anyone yet, if you do back out, you won't feel as bad as if backing out of an event with a few friends, and there can be quite a number in a meet up session, walking groups for example.  So, you could use them as a sort of training ground.  I signed up for one once and didn't attend the first one for ages... but I wasn't too keen on it anyway so I stopped.  Same with a local social group only I still attend some of their meet ups only occasionally..

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  • Posted

    If you feel you can commit to something, you could try voluntary work.  Some of it is paperwork or computer work and doesn't need you to be dealing with people all the time as in a shop for example, but just occasional communication regarding the work, so this would also be a gentle introduction to meeting people.

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  • Posted

    I don't know which country you are in but if it is the UK there are national what are called meet up groups.   They go out on a regular basis and you could turn up as and when you are able.  Or do you like quizzes?  Maybe friends do a regular quiz night and you could go when you can?  Or if you are religious I am sure your local church will have meetings and do voluntary work or something.  x

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