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cant cope depresion has kicked in again

Posted , 5 users are following.

noname1
noname1

so i will start by telling you abit about me im single live alone with no friends and family live away from me im 42 male this post has taking me 2 days to actually post cos i feel embarrest of who i have become used to love life allways busy had something fun to enjoy these days im lucky if i either get out of bed or out of my chair going outside scares the life out of me somedays im not on any medication i know i need to go see my doctor but the thought of having to go outside alone scares the sh@t out of me using the phone to actually ring the doctors surgery to make the appointment scares me cos i no i will have to talk to someone i cant go on feeling the way i do i get terrible anxiety loss of breath and feel sickly feel very panicky the doctors is either  long walk or a bus ride away and being trapped on abus for 25mins scares the life out of me im unemployed trying to look for work i really am but then i lose all concentrationi wander off topic sat here now with my head in my hands wondering if i should post this or delete it again im not suicidal but if i was to die tomorrow then so be it at lat i wont fel like this anymore 

1 like, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • rachel1970
    rachel1970 noname1

    Posted

    YOU need to get to the doctor straight away before you feel worse ,the long walk will be better for you , being outside scares me too but I force myself as I wont be beaten by my bad thoughts.
    • noname1
      noname1 rachel1970

      Posted

      i know the  walk would be a better choice for me and i will ring doctors tomorrow morning thats what i tell myself now anyway i keep saying i wont be beaten too but how many times can i keep saying it 
    • rachel1970
      rachel1970 noname1

      Posted

      Until you beat it, Ive now come off my meds and Im positive even thou my marriage is failing.
    • noname1
      noname1 rachel1970

      Posted

      my marriage fell apart over a year ago hope you work yours out 
  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 noname1

    Posted

    Hello, I hope you can make that phone call tomorrow to see your GP. It sounds like you are still coming to terms with your marriage break up. No need to feel embarrassed about how you feel. We have all been there so we understand. This forum is a supportitive and we can listen and try to help you. You need to help yourself too, so makingt that first move to ring the GP tomorrow.

    Best wishes.

    Elizabeth

    • noname1
      noname1 elizabeth20203

      Posted

      pmsl comming to terms with marriage breakdown haha that made me giggle thanks i needed that im well over that 
    • froggy2
      froggy2 noname1

      Posted

      Hi!

      Hope you are really over it.. my engagement broke up in 2011 and I'm still walking round with a failure badge even though i'm also over it. I'm 47 and I don't feel I will try again though I'm looking, which means that I'm keeping the badge, not replacing it with someone who works better with me.

      Your delaying thing if its the same as what I've got? I'll describe it as I don't want to do XYZ cause I scenarioise that there will be a problem so it makes going out so much more difficult. OR I say today I will go to the doc. and when I don't I wear the failure badge AND its is so much more difficult the next day as the docs is now a dread / negative experience instead of an opportunity to fix stuff.

      I'm unfortunatly someone who instead of saying "Wheres a will theres a way" to "Where theres a will theres a wont."

      Suggest:

      1. coming off the VenFaxine meds really helped me as I had more mental energy to say RIGHT I WILL do this NOW. positively.

      2. from the forum talk, see everything as an opportunity. This is realy hard but somethimes it works, I have 1 good experience every now and again, and that makes it easier to suggest to myself next time that I may have a better time.

      3. Others on this forum like walking and I was unsure, but now agree.. do the the walk sounds best rather than bus. I love the train so I do that whenever I can cause its positive for me, but walking does help to get the body circulating right, gets rid of "bad blood" and I seem to concentrate less on the issue, and more on what i'm going to say, and more on getting to the place, so walking is good.

      Best of luck!

      And keep writing.

    • noname1
      noname1 froggy2

      Posted

      it might just be how i feel right now but didnt understand anything you just put it confused the hell out of me but to be honest i get confused alot lately im tired cant sleep minds working overtime 
  • kristina16197
    kristina16197 noname1

    Posted

    I am so glad that you posted this you are not alone there is lots of support on this site you need to see your doctor ask to be referred to someone that can help you cope at home and get you back on track  the hardest thing is making that first step but its a positive step forward instead of thinking your life is out of control think of it like a step forward to take control just by making the call to the doctor at this stage it's just small steps 

    take care

  • noname1
    noname1

    Posted

    this is just an update today im off to see the doctor its took them over a week for my appointment i got bored of ringin so i made an appointment for today hope they help me i feel like im loosing it the past week ivehardly been out ive wanted to but just couldnt tke the step through the front door im going to push myself to get to that doctors what ever they give me tablet wise will someone let me know if they are anygood i will post again later this afternoon im so anxious right now ive not slept worring about everything not slept for days its relly starting to weigh me down i jst cant see a way forward even though me taking this step to see my doctor i hope they help me im so worried about everything 
    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 noname1

      Posted

      Good luck tell the doctor how your feeling and let people know how you got on, we are here to support you.

      Best wishes.  

      Elizabeth.

  • noname1
    noname1

    Posted

    so i went the doctor yesterday and told her everything i was going through the anxiety the feel of being so down i cant sleep the lonelynes my depression i actually broke down some people say its good to let it all out i dont feel better for this actually feel worse and embarrest i cant help feeling like i do anyway she has given me a 2 week coarse of mirtazapine as ive had them before and helped me sleep but my point is they ddnt help with my depression made me feel alot worse as i told her this she said to just try them again even if they just help me sleep and i no alot of tablets for depression can make you feel worse before u get better but the stage im at i dont want to feel worse than i already do brings me to a panic could do with some advice how to deal with this im also going to see a welbeing officer next week anyone know what one is before i look it up on google be nice to hear your thoughts anyway im actually going out for a walk this afternoon get some fresh air sorry if i went on abit with this i know it cant be much of a read 
    • elizabeth20203
      elizabeth20203 noname1

      Posted

      Hello, I have not taken Mirtazipine so cannot comment on this med. Not sure what a wellbeing officer is, it maybe to do with benefits? Hopefully the meds will help you, thou it make take time. Walking is good for you for you. Take each day as it comes and try to do a little more each day. Keep us all posted to how you are getting on.

      Best wishes.

      Elizabeth. 

  • noname1
    noname1

    Posted

    ive been taking mirtazapine for nearly a week yes they make me drousy and still i cant sleep more than 3hrs total a day and when i do the nightmares omg is this normal very vivid too im a 42 year old guy and wake up in sweats and in tears like a toddler veing drousy 24 hrs aday isnt helping im only on the 15mg and read about some people taking 30mg -45mg anxiaity still hasnt iproved probs worse i go out either early mornings or late at night to avoid crowded places im also on a coarse a couple of days a week which to be honest is scaring the living cr@p out of me being around people isnt something easy thoughts raging through my head and makes me panic so distressed and depressed and anxious and panicky also these tablets are making my joints ache and shakey cant even carry a cup wth out spilling it im going to see a well being officer today what ever that is is anyway enough of my ramblings any advice is truely welcomed 
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