Christmas
Posted , 8 users are following.
I have never felt like this before......I am absolutely dreading Christmas. My girls are grown up now, but I have always loved the planning and excitement of Christmas....even as they became adults. Now I wish I could just hide away and pretend it wasn't happening.
I dread the socialising I will have to do, and I cannot bear the thought of trying to write Christmas cards and choose presents. What is happening to me??
It is making me so sad because I feel that I can no longer find pleasure in the simplest of things. I feel that I am getting ready to leave this earth, even though I should have many years in front of me. It's a terrible way to feel because I have so much to live for.
Sorry. I find it hard to post my feelings because I know that I am so much better off than so many on here, I read your posts and I feel so selfish for feeling depressed.
I just wondered if I was alone in dreading the festive season coming.
Patxxx
1 like, 24 replies
michael98615 patricia44773
Posted
lorraine52317 patricia44773
Posted
I feel 100% the same way you do. I've lost half a year with my depression and I'm still not recovered. This year will is the first Christmas I'm truly dreading! You are definitely not selfish you are being honest! Your post makes me feel like I'm not alone in my dread of Christmas this year. I'm with you in respect of being expected to socialise with family. ...when every part of me wants solitude. I am also with you when you say there is no pleasure in the simplest of things and kind of thinking life has stopped at 55.
I guess we are not recovered yet pat but it's so important we keep that flicker of hope. I plan to talk to my family prior to Christmas and explain that this year I'm not well enough to participate in the festive activities. .followed by a sincere apology. After that I'm hoping they will understand and respect my wishes! Like you the thought of shopping or wrapping presents is a no go for me. I will take the easy option and dish out cash!!
I usually try to please everyone but with this illness it's not possible.
So pat. .you are not alone and again your definitely not selfish!! We can say humbug together lol.
Chin up pat...We will get better and who knows next Christmas we may be kicking up our heels!! xx
patricia44773 lorraine52317
Posted
I think I will try to do what you said and explain to my family, but I find it hard to explain to them. That was brilliant advice, thank you.
I am just so grateful for your reply and to know that someone else feels the same, thank you, thank you.
So okay, it's "Humbug" this year and let's look forward to better years, kicking those heels up.
Pat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lorraine52317 patricia44773
Posted
Humbug for us then lol xxx
mvwaugh patricia44773
Posted
hypercat patricia44773
Posted
Why don't you just give money or vouchers this year? You could put a positive spin on it couldn't you? I don't know about the socialising though. x
vickylou patricia44773
Posted
when they were aware that Santa wasn't real was when I started to dread Xmas. It all became far to mercenary, once the presents were opened that was it. Not having any family there was just the five of us. A lot of hard work and money for nothing.
every year I say I'm going to be organised, cards written, presents bought and wrapped, but I never do.
i even dread decorating the Xmas tree and finding all the decorations they made at school and whose turn it was to put the Angel on top. Once Xmas day is over, for me anyway Xmas has gone.
i know a lot of people feel the same, so don't worry. Now soon will be the moaning about whose turn it is to invite mum and dad. If I could and they wanted to come, I'd have all my children, partners and grand children under my roof and try and recapture how Xmas was. I've bought my cards, but can't find them! Christmas hey!
michael98615 patricia44773
Posted
lorraine52317 michael98615
Posted
What would really help if you could confirm how soon lol!
Have a lovely evening and thanks for the smile xxx
wayne76842 michael98615
Posted
vickylou patricia44773
Posted
They love to socialise, not because they actually care about seeing people, but because they can open their house up to 'friends' so they can show off and hopefully go one better than everyone else. What you are doing is being honest and sharing genuine feelings.
there will be many people who will spend Christmas alone and to them it's just another sad and lonely day the same as every other day. There will also be a lot of sad people looking back on happier times and long departed family and friends.
the true meaning of Christmas has long gone, as shown by shops preparing and selling Christmas stuff from the end of augest and September.. December and January have the highest suicide cases,and common sense goes out of the window. Come the end of January the bills start pouring in for payment and they don't have the money to pay for everyday living and are in debt with credit cards maxed and all for what?
There is no obligation to socialise, you can say we're having a quiet Xmas, this year as I've not been well, so will have to decline their invite.
there has been a huge fall in sales of Christmas cards with more and more people opting to send Christmas greetings online with money saved sometimes donated to various charities.
At the end of the day, it's your Christmas too and why should you
vickylou
Posted
liz1234 patricia44773
Posted
fee25 patricia44773
Posted
you deserve so much happiness, try not to stress yourself out about the upcoming holidays, those "times of joy" can be extra stressful for people suffering with depression but remember, it's not about cards or presents - it's about appreciating what we have, see your family for a few hours on christmas day, if it gets too much just go up for a "nap" and take some time for yourself. i'm having a very quiet christmas this year, i have no money to spoil anyone and can't put up with socialising for too long, but that is ok. we just have to tell ourselves, christmas is just like every other day - show your love for your family and more importantly, for yourself.
good luck pat xxx you="" deserve="" so="" much="" happiness,="" try="" not="" to="" stress="" yourself="" out="" about="" the="" upcoming="" holidays,="" those="" "times="" of="" joy"="" can="" be="" extra="" stressful="" for="" people="" suffering="" with="" depression="" but="" remember,="" it's="" not="" about="" cards="" or="" presents="" -="" it's="" about="" appreciating="" what="" we="" have,="" see="" your="" family="" for="" a="" few="" hours="" on="" christmas="" day,="" if="" it="" gets="" too="" much="" just="" go="" up="" for="" a="" "nap"="" and="" take="" some="" time="" for="" yourself.="" i'm="" having="" a="" very="" quiet="" christmas="" this="" year,="" i="" have="" no="" money="" to="" spoil="" anyone="" and="" can't="" put="" up="" with="" socialising="" for="" too="" long,="" but="" that="" is="" ok.="" we="" just="" have="" to="" tell="" ourselves,="" christmas="" is="" just="" like="" every="" other="" day="" -="" show="" your="" love="" for="" your="" family="" and="" more="" importantly,="" for="" yourself. ="" good="" luck="" pat="">3
you deserve so much happiness, try not to stress yourself out about the upcoming holidays, those "times of joy" can be extra stressful for people suffering with depression but remember, it's not about cards or presents - it's about appreciating what we have, see your family for a few hours on christmas day, if it gets too much just go up for a "nap" and take some time for yourself. i'm having a very quiet christmas this year, i have no money to spoil anyone and can't put up with socialising for too long, but that is ok. we just have to tell ourselves, christmas is just like every other day - show your love for your family and more importantly, for yourself.
good luck pat xxx>
patricia44773
Posted
I am going to take everything you have all said on board and I will put into practice all the good advice. I guess my biggest problem will be trying not to come over as a party-pooper or a Mrs. Scrooge!!!
Again...thank you so much for taking the time to help me, I appreciate it so much.
Pat xxxx