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So here I am once again posting. Sorry.
So I'll explain from the beginning. I've always had anxiety but was able to push it aside most of the time. Then this year in March all of a sudden I kept waking with this crazy anxious nervous feeling and it got worse and worse where I couldn't even eat and I was throwing up and couldn't sleep. I thought I was dying, I went to the emergency room twice and they said I was perfectly healthy. I didn't understand. So I went to the clinic where the doctor said I have horrible anxiety and prescribed me 10mg of citalopram to take for 2 weeks and then go up to 20mg. Til I got my family doctor in June. So I can't remember how long exactly but it was beginning of April I started on 10mg. And then two weeks later 20mg. By end of may I felt back to myself, actually I felt better than my old self. I was able to go out and wanted to go out. I didn't have anxious thoughts or fears and I was sleeping well and I felt amazing. Then end of August anxiety came back soooo bad again. I waited weeks thinking it would pass and then finally saw my doc Sept 19 and told her how back it was. She upped me to 30mg and after 6 weeks I was still not doing great at all. So almost two weeks ago she increased me to 40mg. She said she normally goes from 20mg to 40mg and doesn't usually give the 30mg. And since my anxiety is chronic usually need the higher dose to help. Thursday will be two weeks on 40mg. I find sleep has gotten better, my nausea has gotten better where I can finally eat later in the day and evening and evenings I feel usually better and calmer. But I wake super anxious and scared and it's sets my day thinking I'll always feel like this and like it won't go away this time. I have so much fear. I'm afraid I'll faint, I get tired and get Panicky and think it's a fainty feeling and I am so scared of it. I want to just have positivity and know, since some things like sleep and appetite seems to have improved somewhat that the meds are slowly helping and the anxiety will go away slowly and I'll have better times more and more? So sick of being afraid and so sick of feeling this way. I'm on a wait list for therapy. 4-8 weeks. Hoping it's less than 4 weeks. I can't wait to start it to Hopefully get back to myself but in the meantime I am hoping and wishing so bad that the meds help like they really helped back in June and July etc.
Please give me positivity.
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