Posted , 1 user is following.
My husband of 8 years found out two weeks ago he has genital herpies.the day he found out is the day he told me he cheated with a co worker and she gave it to him. Most girls in my shoes wont stay if this was there situation even my own mother told me to have some dignity as a woman but i really love this man or am i just really stupid i know it hurts really bad
1 like, 5 replies
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sarah53590 Guest
Posted
Access the rest of your relationship. Ask and discuss why did he cheat, if it was a one time or an affair and can be reassure you it won't continue. Is it the first time/woman? Be glad he came forward about the herpes and took claim of responsibility. Is he remorseful and apologized? He needs to. People cheat. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you and spend the rest of your lives happily together, if you both want to. Unfortunately the cheat is a roll of the dice and unfortunately caught herpes. Did he use a condom? That protects about 30%, so can still transmit. Has he had full sti screen?Hopefully he has learned a lesson that will scare him from cheating in future and not bring an sti home to the woman he loves.
If you both want to be together, strengthen your relationship. Fix any buried problems and get rid of resentment. Cooperation is necessary. Consider counseling. Or a book/s. Library. One excellent book- the scream free marriage. Scream is a metafor, not literal.
Wish you the best.
Guest sarah53590
Posted
sarah53590 Guest
Posted
The fact this has happened 2 other times isn't reassuring he is remorseful. Is there anything HE HAS DONE (not only said sorry) to SHOW you he respects, loves you? ANYTHING HE HAS SAID BEYOND "I'm sorry I won't do it again" to show you he UNDERSTANDS WHY it's wrong and HOW IT HURTS YOU? "I'm sorry I won't do it again" is vague and generic and he needs to show you he understands how it hurts you. Ask him if he knows how it makes you feel to be cheated on and given a disease. If he doesn't really seem to get the depth of it, tell him. You feel he hurts your dignity and like a fool, for staying with a repeat cheater? Are there kids in your relatinnship? What kind of example does that put forth? Doesn't he want a strong, dignified and confident woman who demands respect raising his kids? Ask him what leads him to cheat and what he feels is missing in your relationship? The core of why this happens needs to be addressed. It's probably not as simple as him just say sorry, you forgive and try to move on. Without reassurance, you will probably feel resentful. Hope this helps.
Guest sarah53590
Posted
Thank you sarah it was a lot of help on ur last comment i explained the way i felt and he has been a lot more helpful with me and the kids but i am also not sure how long it will last but a few days ago i went with him to his doctor and we asked a lot of questions and the doctor asked me if i was hpv2 also and i told him no i dont have it and he asked if he could know how long we've been togwther and my main question is if its normal that ppl look at us differently knowing i dont have it but he does i felt like his doctor was i dont know not exactly critizing me but i dont know a little judgy maybe and i dont know if its my mind playing games or not
sarah53590 Guest
Posted
Could be your own self conscious mind playing tricks, or the doc could think differently some. If he does, he's ignorant... Sometimes even docs are. I think more likely, he found it curious you hadn't contracted it, or took note of your dedication to your relationship. I think the least likely is he thought less of you for it. Happy things are looking up for you!