Confused - worthless

Hi cookie, I feel just like you,been of work 5 weeks now,at gp today got 2omg if flu and dia,feel so weak,feel like i am lettin my children down,waiting for cpn to arrange app.I hope you will feel better soon,keep taking the meds,and be honest with work,your work is at least looking after you,mine dont bother,I really dont mean to go on,tell your friends too,it's better to talk and let people know,I dont bother with friends/family,I really need to talk,I hope you feel better,try and start looking after yourself,treat yourself to a new hair do(if you feel up to going out.........(sorry for going of topic,but I feel jusy like you)

Hi there.

From what I can gather, feeling worthless and not worthy of bothering is one of the classic symptoms of depression. I know when my doc did the HAD test on me this came up in a number of the questions.

I think this ties in to the point when I realised the flu was working. I was in town with my mum (keeping her busy while dad was in hospital) and, sitting in M&S I suddenly got the urge to change my image. I can \"do\" work clothes and scruffy but I am no good at smart casual. it tends to be a variation on work or scruffy.

So, the fact that I now care how I look has to indicate something. Still need the baggies when i get home though.

As far as not being bothered to do things - before I realised I was depressed I could happily spend a whole day sitting in bed with a book not seeing anyone, no shower, nothing.

Now I need to be doing things and keeping busy.

A friend once gave some advice to a widdowed friend. She said - whatever you do, make sure you have planned something to do every day. Doesn't matter if it is sorting out your sock drawer or similar. The worst thing is to face each morning with the whole day stretching in front with nothing to fill it - a bit like a chasm.

Lelly xx

Hi Cookie

Sound advice from LellyM. Keeping distracted by keeping busy is the best way to stop your mind racing away. I had the same problem to start with, didnt change, wash, lay in bed reading all day. The tiredness I found was lack of sleep, but my GP has sorted me out with zopiclone which has helped alot in the last few days.

As for work, is there someone there you trust more than others. Perhaps tell them what is really wrong & ask them to pass it on to management. I told work the day I started, I still get odd comments about happy pills, but not from those I really get on with. I even got a hug from one of the older typists! Unfortunately alot of people dont treat this as an illness, until they have first hand experience, but we all know it is and that it causes so much suffering.

I had two weeks off, have now been back 8 days, against GPs wishes, but after the first two days when I was working on something rather nasty, I felt a little better, still tired, but distracted - sometimes by you guys!

Its early days still, few more weeks and everyone says the flu will kick in!

Go get that new hairdo, I think I may go out and get a radical cut as suggested, then some of the people at work will realise theres something wrong with me! :lol:

Take care and keep posting we are all here to help each other!

Stu

Hi Cookie28

I understand totally how you feel. I'm sure once flu kicks in you will start to take care of your appearance again and feel worthy of it. For my first month on flu, about a year ago, i couldn't be bothered to get out of bed, felt so ill in the morning, when i put my book down and got up i just about managed to clean my teeth and wash my face. I knew i was bad because i wasn't really bothering with makeup and just tied my hair back. Not like me at all. After about 4 weeks i suddenly wanted to look good, i put makeup on, enjoyed having a shower and even went to buy new clothes. I'd lost a stone so needed a new wardrobe. I'm sure the same will happen to you once flu kicks in.

I was lucky workwise as i don't work, have two little-uns so i'm a full time mum. I just about managed to get up and act as normal as possible for them. Sometimes i don't know how but they definately kept me going. A reason for getting better. My husband did have to take two weeks off work to look after me though. So i was very lucky i didn't have to decide what to tell work. I didn't tell all my friends either, only the ones i knew would understand.

Good luck, i do hope you start to feel more positive and more like \"you\" soon.

Take care

SamB x

Hi Cookie28

I know exactly how you feel. Fortunately at 15 weeks on the flu the interests have started to come back and the pride in appearance too.

But in the early stages i couldn't be bothered to do anything - wash, wash my hair, do ironing,watch telly. This will pass given time.

You should really tell your management at work, they may be very understanding.

Having depression is not being lazy. Depression is a serious physical illness that affects the mind (and body). We don't have control over our thought processes or moods as the neurotransmitters in the brain are not functioning correctly.

I am the total opposite of the 'me' i was. I don't like it but as every cured sufferer i've spoken to, and you'd be amazed how many there are out there, they say it will get better.

I'm not there yet but do believe that it is an illness with no quick recovery and we have to be patient - not easy i know. :?

These people also say 'do everything in small steps'. For example start a task but don't finish it. E.g. hoover one room only, iron one item of clothing.

I hope some of this ramble helps.

Take care. x :wink: