confusion

Hi scarlett67 l am 51 and goin through peri menopause I had 2 months without a period then this month had a really heavy one I also have all these symptoms headache for two days feelings of doom and gloom crying at anything no energy it really is a rough ride hope things get better soon 😔Xxxx

Hi Nanette ~ thanks for reply. I am always breaking down in tears for absolutely no reason at all when I am at home. Really don't know how I manage to get through work at moment ~ incredibly difficult holding it together at times. It's just a help knowing that you're not the only one going through it, but by same token really feel for those that are. 😞

Hi Scarlett, no its not just you...im 19 mths post meno, had a terrible 2 yrs of anxiety, panic attacks, palpitations, ibs, plus other meno symptoms. Developed anxiety disorder after xmas, 5 months of hell on antidepressants, HRT and betablockers for the anxiety etc and have finally turned a corner and feeling pretty much normal, sometimes better than! Wish i couldve done it without pills but i needed serotonin so it was a necessary evil. So worth it tho to get my life back. So there are things out there if youre prepared to take them. I tried lots of herbal things but it still escalated. Some find magnesium and B complex help anxiety and vitamin d. Ive hardly worked since xmas and its given me the push to look for another job that im happier in, thats less stressful, with a nicer boss lol...silver lining... :-)

Hi I know I'm the same work is really hard at the moment feel exhausted some days tired and a real effort to do anything seem to get different symptoms from day to day it really does help to know I'm not alone in this but sad that other people are feeling like this I have a husband and two teenage boys so there isn't much sympathy 😔Be nice to keep in touch 😊Xxxx

Hi Julie ~ many thanks for your reply & really sorry to hear how bad things have been for you. It's good that you're starting to feel normal again 😊. I have an absolutely fantastic herbalist that sorts out my problems with medicine using natural plant & flower extracts. He worked an absolute miracle & I was feeling brilliant until the run up to my last period & it's made me take a hundred steps back as I hadn't had one since Sept. Emergency call to my herbalist & he has adjusted my medicine so hoping it kicks in pretty pronto as,I don't like the dark places I keep finding myself in & the thoughts that go with it. Really hope things continue to improve for you ~ bloody nightmare isn't it?!!! 😬

Absolute nightmare isn't it?!!😬 I get so so tired & even the easiest of tasks becomes like a mountain to climb. Also if anything no matter how small or trivial goes wrong at any point during day or night it's like the end of the world & I just can't cope with it. This is someone that could cope & would deal with absolutely anything ~ where the hell have I gone???? Lol. Yes would be nice to stay in touch & help support each other & others 😊

Yeah so true I'm exactly the same feels good to know I'm not goin through this alone it is hard drives me mad xxxx

It certainly is! That's brilliant that you have a herbalist who knows their stuff! Doctors haven't been too knowledgeable about meno, I've had loafs of unnecessary testing for all manner of nasty illnesses when all along I've suggested its probably meno! Wish I'd seen a herbalist like you! Thanks, I've had about 2 good weeks but still get a little anxiety after a bad nights sleep (sertraline makes it hard to get to sleep). Let us know if things improve on the newly adjusted herbs because at some point I'll be wanting to try coming off anti anxiety meds. All the best, julie

Hi there Julie ~ good to hear from you & great news that you've had couple of good weeks ~ let's hope it continues. My herbalist is excellent & I have been a patient of his since my 20's. He seems to be able to get to the root of a problem & mixes up a medicine that nine times out of ten is successful so I am very lucky. I hit rock bottom big time again last week & then came on so it seems that leading up to a period is really not a good time for me. It has only lasted 2 days so I'm hoping they are going to stop for good now as I have completely had enough of being a prisoner in my own body . Thankfully I am now on the up which feels amazing ~ have actually smiled & laughed quite a few times today which is a rarity ~ I'm sure people must think I've had botox cos of the permanent expressionless face!!!!!! Let's hope we have both turned a huge corner & it will all soon be behind us for good 😊 Take care you.

Hi Azzumi, u may not even get this as ive just tagged it onto the end of another post?! Ive read most of your posts and a couple of the things you experienced strike a chord with me, namely the anxiety and crying. I had happily been on patches for 11 months when i was hit with terrible anxiety and crying. My dr tried me with a couple of different hrt's but they didnt work as i didnt stay on them long enough (thinking they werent working). I was already on anti depressants so the dr decided it was depression and upped my anti depressant. I didnt agree with this but did it anyway as i was desperate for some relief. They did take the edge of the anxious feeling but that was all.

I am now on wk 5 of doubling the strength of my patch as advised by the hrt clinic. I am still getting the anxious feeling though not just as bad but the crying is still there which i find extremely difficult to handle, so upsetting, when im like this i do think whats the point in being here anymore (tho i know i wouldnt do anything). Now im really starting to doubt myself thinking is it depression (doesnt feel like any depression ive had before) or is it menopause??

I fully understand if u dont reply i dont mean to put u on the spot was just looking an opinion as u went thru the terrible anxiety and crying to name a few. (I do get low moods but i wouldnt call it depression.

Im so glad that u feel much better than before.

Angela

Hi Angela, the reason I post a lot about my moods and crying is because I think its one of the most misunderstood problems with hormone imbalance. I cried a lot as a teenager and would get very irritable and angry and with Peri menopause it feels the same but so much worse. I guess I've always known its my hormones but until now I haven't known what is happening when I feel so sad and so distressed and almost desperate. Apparently my body doesn't like estrogen, or rather much estrogen. So when it spikes through the month it literally sends me crazy. The bio identicals I'm on are to balance my hormones and hopefully stop the spikes but I'm also taking DIM which will help stop the estrogen build up that I seem to get. I've also done anti depressants and gone to psychologists and counselors over the years and some of it has helped but without having my hormones balanced correctly I will always have issues. I really felt for you when you said about the crying. Its so horrible and so intense sometimes I did have moments too when I felt it was all too hard. My opinion is that its probably your hormones but I think you probably know that already. Its taken time for me to start to feel better and iv still got a way to go yet. Please ask me anything you want. I really do understand.

Hi Azzumi thank u so much for replying very kind of you. I do believe its my hormones also, my concerns are that i am never going to get back to how i used to be without this anxiety, crying, hot flushes and nite sweats still going on. The hrt clinic i have been to dont do any blood testing to see what levels ur hormones are at i really dont know how they can hope to balance out ur hormones by saying wear 2 patches?!! Mine are obvisiously arent balanced as i am still getting so many symptoms. Im seeing my dr nxt week and hoping she will do bloods for me. Unfortunately where i live i cant get bio identicals, i would pay privately for a menopause specialist but havent been able to find one. In the meantime its just getting through every day and hope that i will get a better solution than what i have now.

I hope things continue to improve for you,, x.

Blood work does tell them some things but our hormones will change through the day so getting true readings on exactly how they are fluctuating is near impossible. The blood work I have next will be taken in the afternoon instead of morning which may give him more insight into what's going on with me but a lot of what my doctor does is down to symptoms. The last few days haven't been so good and I'm feeling down again but I've had some personal issues that I can't deal with again. Problem is I'm not sure if I'm reacting so badly because of hormones or I'm just really upset over the problem I have. This is where it gets messy. Are some of these feeling hormonal or not. Right now I'm trying to fake it around my boyfriend to see if the feelings will pass and I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. I agree with what you said about the patches. How can they just tell you to put on patches and that'll fix you. If they aren't right for you could they make things worse. But i guess you have to try something. The blood work should help but now I suppose they have to take into account what the patches are doing also. Wow its complicated. I want to thank you for your post to me. Iv had a few very strange days that I haven't had for a while but you made me feel ok about it. I was feeling guilty for feeling so horrible but I don't feel guilty anymore..THANKYOU!!

Hi Azzumi, it is very complicated indeed. Ive had 1 good day this week-Wednesday i felt totally like myself it was great, felt the way i should with the girls, ive 2 small girls aged 7 and 6 years, the youngest is special needs. Monday and Tuesday i was a crying mess, y'day and today im so so but dont feel like myself?! How can you have 1 day of 'wow this is me' then its gone again. Too much estrogen/progestetone or too little?? Had really bad nite sweats last nite and some flushes today thought they would have been gone by now.

I tried quite a bit of faking around my boyfriend though was pretty hopeless at it i just cant hide how im feeling. I split with him twice then for definite on the 3rd time, i have to say this was in the midst of my wakening with terrible anxious feeling and crying (for no reason). I had no interest at all got to the stage e'thing he did irritated me. Were hormones playing a role, now i would say absolutely! We were only together 8 months, things probably would have been different had i not got hit with this. Whatever problems u r having dont make any rash decisions try and hold out until u are feeling a bit better. I used to say 'fake it till u make it', i think im past that point now!! I hope u have had a better day today.

Hi Angela, we sound very similar especially the boyfriend thing and I'm sorry things didn't work out for you but I definitely understand. We've only been together 18 months and I moved 1700 km leaving everyone I know to be with him only to find out a bit more than I expected about his past. This threw me into complete mental turmoil plus going through Peri menopause I just couldnt put anything into perspective. I put myself into counseling as I couldn't tell anyone what I found out which helped me. When my hormones are balanced and I'm feeling good we are great together and I can think straight and I know that his past is his past but when the crazy hormone stuff happens my brain goes into overdrive and I just want to end it. Even if we never get our hormones perfect I guess knowing why we feel bad sometimes does help us cope. The bazaar thing is my boyfriend studied female hormones a few years ago in a course he did and has a greater understanding of what's happening to me than I do which is good except if I even change the expression on my face he asks what's wrong, how do you feel, are you ok. Sometimes I just need to be left alone for a few minutes to get my head together and i'v explained that to him. Sorry I'm going on so much, think I'm having a moment..lol

Thankyou again. Your posts have helped me so much and I'd like to keep in touch with how you are going. Take care of yourself.

Hi Azzumi, u were not going on at all, its good to talk. It was a massive step for you moving so far to be with ur boyfriend then with peri thrown in its bound to make things difficult for you. How have u been feeling the last day or so? I had an ok day y'day, no crying or anxious feeling first thing but then the anxious came back in the a'noon and was off and on the rest of the day. Would you get symptoms that come and go thru the day?, ive also found since i started wearing 2 patches that my chest and neck go really red and warm more on than off thru the day. Im assuming its the hormones working but is it because its too much of one of them? I just wish i understood all of this more with regard to the hormones.

Yes it would be good to keep in touch see how u r doing. Take care, Angela.

Hi Angela, yesterday was good thanks and feeling good today too. I find the feelings do come and go throughout the day and at the moment I seem to have maybe 3 bad days in a row then next day I'm normal again. I can be ok then suddenly start to cry then be incredibly irritated and angry then ok again. The worst part now seems to be the obsessive thinking that I can't control and wanting to cry. But what I find incredible is I can wake up the next day without any bad thoughts or sadness at all and I feel normal. I realize now how it must look to other people especially my boyfriend and why he did ask me once if maybe there wasn't something more wrong with me. If I wake up ok then I find the whole day is ok. If I wake up with racing thoughts or feeling sad then I know I'm doomed at least for a day or 2. At least I can see what's happening to me now and there seems to be a pattern with my moods. I don't know anything about the patches. Are they made for you? Or are they just a standard dose? Do you find you feel good more than bad these days? I'm going to speak to my doctor about having blood work when I feel terrible and also when I feel good because the difference is night & day and surely that would tell him more about what's happening. I am so determined to beat this thing. My boyfriend said the other day that I might never be perfect..lol but I'm sure as hell going to try. 😃

H Azzumi, the patches are standard, u wear the 1st patch for 2 weeks which is the estrogen only element. Then the 2nd patch for 2 weeks which is the estrogen and progesterone which allows u to have a withdrawal bleed. When i only wore 1 patch the bleed was 3/4 days and very light, my last bleed there was heavy at the start and lasted 10 days. I also find my mood is very low when im on the 2nd patch and i get the crying again towards the end. At the moment the anxious and crying is gone first thing in the morning which is great but i can feel anxious again thru the day and have mood swinga too. I have 2 more weeks to go then i get a review telephone call with the hrt clinic. I am considering trying something else as i am very bloated at the moment (u would think i am pregnant!), feel tired, some lighthead feelings, headaches and still getting nite sweats. I especially dont like rhe low mood on the 2nd patch.I just think an hrt treatment should take away more than just the anxious and crying though i do realise they were the two worst symptoms for me.

I would look at the hrt forum too, the scary thing is any posts i have read of women trying to come off hrt within a space of time their symptoms come back and they need hrt again! Are we just putting off the inevitable further down the line??!!!, scary stuff!!, x.

Wow..seems so hit and miss with patches. Its difficult enough with the bios I'm on which are tailored just me and getting them right. Had a very small bleed last week which is what my stupid crying and craziness was about but pretty much all other symptoms have gone but I still have bowel problems with gas and bloating especially of a night and I know its hormones. Our bodies will never produce the hormones properly again so without hrt or bhrt where does that leave us. I can't see how things could improve for women like us without us replacing and balancing this way and i tend to think with myself I would have gone completely crazy if I hadn't been able to start to sort things out. My mother had bipolar disorder with psychosis, diagnosed in her early sixties which was very strange and since i'v gone through all this I seriously wonder if hormones played a part. Be interesting what they do for you when you have your review. Will you have more blood work? Also can take six weeks or longer to know the full effect of any replacement. But I do agree it should take away more symptoms. Hang in there. It is early days and regardless of what form of hrt you use it won't be easy. Keep me posted..😃