constant anxitey.. never ending

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hey folks, ive just posted on the mirtazapine group regarding my constant battle with anxiety. I know it's not just the med it's also an issue I need to learn to cope and deal better with. But it just seems phys and emotional symptoms get worse and worse. most days I won't leave my room. I have constant morning anxiety everyday from wake up till the evening. It does settle on a night time most nights and I feel my normal self. But from opening my eyes to late evening it's a constant battle, oh gosh what will today bring, doom and gloom. I just feel so Negative most days. Last week I had two good days where I felt so positive and I even went out with my partner for a walk etc.first time out the house all year. But I'm just so up qnd down I csn plan anything as most days I won't leave my house. I have let my thoughts and fears win and I am convinced I'm dying for some reason. My head belives I am. Not sure what off but I keep thinking am dying from all the phphysical symptoms I'm going though with the anxitey. I do read anxity no more book and it helps me understand things but then I just end up still having anxity attacks every day and crying thinkkng am dying. The adrenaline is through the roof it feels all over and the heart palps and shortens off breath scare me as I feel am not breathing properly and getting my self All worked up and go in to awful anxity shakes and head goes into over drive. My poor body and mind is drained, this has all escalated over the past 6 months. Only thing I've tried to do is reduce my mirtazapine very very slowly as it seems it's making me 10 times worse. This is not me and I have suffered anxitey from a young age and always been able to get through it, but this is another level. Every day is a battle I am completely drained and dont want to try any other meds. I want to learn to tackle my anxious tthinking my self's and get help with cbt. I notice that if I don't eat every couple of hours my anxity spikes so I have bananas to hand. I do feel it's my thought process and I am trying to feel Positive but I can't get it out my head thst there is something wrong with me.Docs checked my blood about a year ago all fine and somehow my blood pressure is ideal haha. But I feel I keep noticing my racing heart and body sensations qnd paying them too much attention. Sorry for ranting but I have tried all sorts of self help and vitamins, I am also working on my diet intake as i am aware certain foods effect anxity. I used to exercise all the time but going up the stares freaks me out as I feel my heart rate change. All of this is not usually what am like.. Just feel am never going to be ok again

I feel drained. I do suffer from ocd I've been told and I have always knew I do but it never bothered me used to jusr brush it off, but now it's lkke ocd negative thoughts and thinking am dying it's pretty crippling to be honest. I feel a prisoner to my own thoughts and am missing out on enjoying life. I'm 32 year old female and I just feel am letting anxity beat me. I feel its so hard to function on these mirtazapine they are causing all sorts of side effects but I'm half way off my withdrawal but scared to drop any further as things just get too much. if anyone has any tips or.advice that would be great as I feel I've bored the ears of people close and I feel it would be nice to talk to people who suffer with similar issues.. Anyway thanks for listening All.. Shez

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  • Posted

    Hi shez, poor you i feel for you , I hAve suffered on and off for years, I am on 30mg mirtzialpine and to be honest I'm sure it's made me worse as I used to be citalopram and never was this bad , I'm starting on serlipene tmrw and hope this starts helping me , I've not been able to work since xmas and it's taking over my life , maybe you too need to try different medication x
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    • Posted

      Thanks Sarah, I know it'd Awful ain't it. Im so Up and ddown.I do see it as jusr thoughts tho and I belive we are in control of out own thoughts qnd happiness. It's hard some days but somedays I'm stong and think positive but the side effects of this mirt knocks me off again. I wake up hung over and groggy qnd feel ill. I don't even drink haha I look after me body. I am convinced it'd the mirt doing oppersite effects but am so scared to ween back down to my next reduction after the last side effects

      The adrenaline rushes wouldnt go away it was awful lasted two weeks then had to go back up to 9_10mg still on thst now but feel awful. Well one doc said try sert the other is saying no and to come off meds and await my cbt and see it as just anxity.. So now I give up qnd trying to gather my strength to try grt off.

      Thankfully I work self employed from home.I have my own clothing label. It's still hard getting up to do my orders though.. Gosh I hope we both feel better soon haha

      Shez

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  • Posted

    Hi I feel the same way.I have been anxious my whole life.Now the physical symptoms are very severe so I decided to go on medication.I am on citalopram 10.The side effects are awful but I don't know what to do.I am tired going to doctors.All I can do is to wait and hope that the medicine will work
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    • Posted

      Hey Christina, it's a tough life for us at mo. I'm really fed up So I feel your pain. The first tablet I tried was cit and lasted a week and I felt awol on it. Doc gave me beta blockers qnd let it clear out my system. They said I dididn't react well to it and needed sedation type of tabelt for my anxity and ocd. I eventually tried it and it's Been worst year ever. it felt oK at first, but now it's like doing the oppersite, but no one listens to me docs keep saying it's anxity bla.bla bla. Up this take that do this. On my last reduction I really struggled and called docs upset having anixty attack, for once a doc took notice of my issues and said he agreed for me to keep weening off them and try think more positive and do little exercise while awaiting my cbt. I'm so up qnd down though I feel ok min and in control then boom anxouis thought leading to feeling and sensations. That led to anxity attack and crying spells. Gosh I feel such a weakling. Never been like this before its awful ain't it. Im reading pauls blog anxitey no more at the moment it's the only bit hope I have if am honest. I've pushed everyone away qnd feel my life is over and Al never be ok again. Its good to talk to people with similar issues though as I feel less alone. let's try keep our heads up and think it's only temp qnd thankfully nerves heal etc just takes Time and strength :-)

      Shez

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    • Posted

      What side effects you had on cit?I do CBT aswell but in my situation is very hard to think positiv.I feel hopeless and can't believe this is anxiety.At the moment I don't know if the symptoms are caused by anxiety or are the side effects of cit but these  are the worst days of my life
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    • Posted

      Im the same lass.. I can't decide whether my mirtazapine is doing out of making me worse just I do know it's obv not helping ha as i can't feel much lower. But then every time I try to reduce I end up worse. Feel stuck. Well it was all a blur the week on cit but they made me feel all over like ocd thoughts and I felt out of control and head aches severe dry mouth and kept tripping out. I was just an anxious wreck. I didn't want to take these mirtazapine but I felt I had no choice but to try. didn't know the wd of them was so hard for some. I have sertraline but I won't take it. I just want off all meds to try get a Clear mind again then see where I'm at.. I'm convinced I have all sorts wrong with me like ocd over feeling ill it's awful. My moods are all over i cry everyday and I'm not a cry kind of person but past 6 months it's all I've done. I feel better after it but don't want to be crying for no reason. I wish i could have the guts to grt off these pills and see if it's my anxity disorder or the tabelts.
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  • Posted

    Hi Shez. I'm not familiar with the drug you are on but it seems to me that it isn't doing you any good. I know you say you don't want to try any other drugs but it may be the best way through this for you.  When I had anxiety and depression I was tried on 5 different drugs before one was found that worked me and it actually helped me get my life back. You are only 32 so you have a good many years ahead of you but you need to fight this anxiety. Go back to your doctor and tell him how this drug is making you feel and ask him to give you something else to try. He's there to help you.
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    • Posted

      Hey gwen thanks for your reply.. I'm thinking the same llike why am i bothering taking something thats obv not helping my issues. Only reason I take it is to stop the wd feelings as they are unbeatable and I can't hack them. The doctors just don't seem bothered just say it's anxity issue.. One actually listened and said he thinks am better off meds one gave me sertilaine or something when I said these mirtazapine are making me groggy 24/7 and muscle spasms brain zaps the list goes on. My head just feels constantly foggy and I feel on another planet. I would like to be off any meds to see how I am with a clear head then back up plan I have sertraline to try I guess. Getting me self all upset at the moment feeling like it will never end and anxity will always control me and I'm too young to miss out on a life as i want to travel etc not be stuck in the cold uk haha. Shez
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  • Posted

    Hi Shez You've got nothing to lose by asking to change to something else but a lot to lose by staying the way you are. Speak to the Samaritans, they are there to help.
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    • Posted

      Yeah I feel it might be best to try something else as can't get much worse ha

      I've got plenty support around Me and hopefully it will get better the stronger I get. But defo feel these tabelts are not doing me any good. I woukd rather just try sort my self With a clear mind and cbt. Never had anything like this until the past 6 months. Only suffered with abit anxity and bit ocd. Blimey its all out of hand now though. Just have to keep plodding on

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    • Posted

      hi shez how long have you been on the mirtazipine and what dosage , i have been on it for 3 months now was on 30mg and 4 weeks ago i droped to 15 mg i to feel like you and it aint no life , i think the mirtazipine has made me worse but doctors keep telling me to stick at it . i dont know wether its my anxiety level getting worse or its because its withdrawals from the mirtazipine but i know i have to get of this drug , i also take venlaxafine which has horrible side effects , but you are not alone , the doctors give us these tablets and some people get better the lucky ones , but they dont realize how bad it is to stop these drugs when they dont work . i know how you feel you are not alone , there is a end to all of this we just have to be strong and find it ,
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    • Posted

      Hey terry, been on 15mg for just over a year. Started to feel worse end of last year so tried to ween off.my word biggest mistake ever these things. They should come with a warning sticker on the front. Trying to get off has destroyed me like. No one listens though and had to cry to the docs for them to see that they are no use to me. Last doc I spoke to agreed and said I'm doing sensible thing coming of slow. I've been taking 2mg off every 3 weeks as the wd effects are unbelievable! I started reduction mid Dec. I got to half way 3 weeks ago and it was just too much I seem so sensitive to them and they make me so foggy and can't function. Adrenaline rushes are scary esp when u hsve anxity as it is. I went back to one dose up around 9mg and adrenaline issue settled a lot. But I'm still in a right pickle. I only had the odd anixtey attsck and ocd thoughts before I started these a year later I have a list off issues. I feel I'm getting the oppersite effects of what I should be. But then I think or it must be me my anixty must be really bad now. I know they help some people but ain't helped me and I feel am still stuck on them scared to come off due to wd. I ain't got the strength at the moment so am trying to balance it out steady and try reduce 1mg next month.

      Wish I just read a anixty blog or website plus cbt in the first place. . I weaker but wiser now. Guess it can only make us stronger

      Shez

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    • Posted

      Hi shez, I no it's early days but I said I was stopping my murrialpine last night and I did ready to take sertraline, well I never took my tablet last night and I woke up fresh not a lot of anixity and took my sertraline this Mrng I have had the best day ever since November , no anixity but smiling and back to me , I think the murtzialpine are making us worse , go docs and change tabs really xxx
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    • Posted

      Hey guys has a awful morning ended up in a right state calling docs and thinking all sorts. Doc listened to everything and suggested I re install my full 15mg tabelt and settle on thar again. They think taking the tabelt away that's designed to calm me is a bad idea qnd making me worse. I'm not sure what to think so ive took my full tablet. It's took me 3 hard months to get half way off it but I just haven't got the control I need and want but am not sure if it is these mirtazapine or my anxity increasing etc. I've never had anything tbis bad before so it'w all really scary. I am giving it one last try and see how it goes while I await my cbt. I don't want meds either am not good with them I prefer naturally plodding on haha

      Thanks guys

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  • Posted

    Hey I've had anxiety for just over 10yrs although it took 3yrs of ct scans xrays all sorts of test to diagnose it I've had so many different meds I can't even remember but I had some dark days where you feel like you just can't be bothered anymore and why me but I ended up stopping the meds as I feel worse on than off them because I've had so many side effects I automatically think I'm going to get them now so feel worse on them but I've found distractions work for me I don't go anywhere without my headphones as my music is the best one so far but anything that stops you thinking about it seems to work it might not work for everyone but it's worth a try
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    • Posted

      Agree Danny music is life and it cheers us all uP. Distractions defo hekp me and just keeping busy, as I'm an over thinker and it sucks doing nothing as u worry over random stuff haha. It's silly really but we have to jusr plod on as in life we have no option to. Let's all keep pushing forward. Positive vibes are gooood :-)
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