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For ~4 years I have been incapable of making major decisions. I struggle even with small decisions, but the big ones bring me to my knees. It seems like it should be just a matter of volition, deciding something, but for whatever reason my brain does not seem to allow me to do so and it feels beyond my control. Every time I try to make a decision, my mind quickly overrides whatever decision I make, and I'm back to my hopeless state of paralysis. For years, I have been totally stuck and made no progress in life thanks to being paralyzed with indecision. Literally every waking moment of my life I spend obsessing over the pros and cons of different options in my head, to a degree that borders on obsession, but I am never able to decide anything.
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jan34534 henry72630
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Henry, indecision is a very common symptom of anxiety and stress. I have done that for many years and I know how miserable it is. We second-guess ourselves over everything! I did get some counseling for this and also my daughter has been a big help to me. after decades of doing this, I finally started to overcome it by taking baby steps.
what I learned is that there’s nothing worse than being indecisive. So I begin by making a decision on something small and sticking with it. I followed through on my decision. It didn’t matter at that point if it was the right decision or not. The main thing is that I made a decision and i followed through !
It could start out as a decision as simple as what kind of cereal I should buy. i’m not kidding! i used to stand in the aisle for 20 minutes making that decision thinking in my head about the pros and cons of each type of cereal.
thats An example of a baby step. I’m sure you can think of some in your life that you could start out with.
I can’t tell you what a relief it was to actually follow through on something.
for years I would torture my mind doing this until it just got to the point where I literally couldn’t take it anymore. Then I would graduate to a little bit bigger decisions .
such AS deciding what type of furniture I want to buy. So I researched, went to some stores, when I realized I was taking too long to decide, I had to remind myself of that. I ended up deciding and it felt really good and I like the furniture.
REMEMBER this, none of these decisions are life and death. Even if you don’t like your decision once you’ve made it, it’s OK! If it’s something like furniture, you can return it. We make it a bigger deal in our head than it actually is.
EVEN if you choose the wrong job, it’s OK! You keep that one until you find one you like better.
Life is about making choices every single day. Most of them are not huge decisions but we even have to decide what we’re wearing every day. Also, with the really big decisions say like financial decisions, buying a home etc. you can get professional help with those. But start with the small baby decisions because those will make you realize that you can do this and it feels great!
Honestly, I would rather make 100 decisions that I may need to change than NEVER make one decision and live miserably in my head. .
ALSO remember that no decision is perfect. Nothing in this life is going to be perfect.
SOOO how about starting today? Make a very small decision and just do it! Do this every single day and stick with it.
Outcomes of Every day decisions are not going to affect your life dramatically.
There is a saying ......." if you always do what you’ve done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got " very true!