Convinced I'm dying constantly

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I got to the point I didn't have to Google ect but since this whole thing with been postpartum I'm now 100% the biggest hypercondria again but then I keep having this other side of me that says it isn't anxiety go with your gut feeling I really can't shift this I seem to be getting worse and worse I spend all day Googling I have started a anxiety diary basically I write down hiw I feel I express my emotions and also right all my symtoms daily ect I could write about 20 pages and still go on its something I started doing when my anxiety was bad before yet I hadn't had to do it for ages 😣 I listen to YouTube which helps get me to sleeo

I tried meditation ( that made my mind go more onto panic mode don't know why )

I tried cbt before it helps for the whole day of seeing somebody but inbeetween it didn't help

I've diagnosed myself with alot this week including mengitis ect some things only last minutes others stick at the minute I really believe I have a brain tumour sometimes much I've booked a eye test I have anxiety over eye tests as last one I went too I was a child is had a major panic attack don't know why anyways I know brain tumours do happen and I have all the symtoms dizziness tintinus ears feel muffled tight throat difficult to swallow ( really scary been like it all day )

Sharp head pains that have been going on for God knows how long all at the right side of my head weak right arm I feel I am so out of touch with everything now I don't want to talk to people I don't want to ring people ect I put off everything I also keep getting very odd heart beats that are so strong I can feel it through my chest with my hand like big thuds my heart goes out of rhythm and I can feel it in my throat too I hate this but I can't stop Googling I can't stop going on forums I can't stop anything Meds don't work on me they made me worse last year I have no hope I don't know what I can do sorry for the long post I needed to get it all out before I end up ripping my hair out with worry

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    stephx ive had anxiety now for 30 years and had every symptom ive had strokes heart attacks cancers or this in my head had blood tests or normal we must try and break this cycle of worry but its hard im like you i journal daily i the more we focus on a symptom the more anxiety makes it bigger i will never stop it running my life knowledge is power sometimes my anxiety is intolerable but i wouldnt trade it in we have a very IQ as anxiety sufferers we are very clever people
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    • Posted

      Have you seriously had Anxiety for so long? Omg how did you cope?

      I've had it for almost 5months and I'm only barely hanging on. Right now my elbows hurt so bad and I'm constantly worried it's something deadly. The funny thing is all my pains usually go away on their own then new ones come when they feel like it.

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  • Posted

    I like the forum the best personally but this is the only one that seems to be as active.i hate google it has been wring way too many times and the doctors where i live despise it.  Im almost at three decades of this it does come and go. It is really hard to know the difference between anxiety and an actual issue that why its always imoortant to see a gp or doctor every now and then. By now you realize the anxiety and its symotoms they tend to be very off and intense versus an illness. Illness tends to sneak up on you. I agree with Martin without a doubt people with panic attacks have high iqs probably from all the reading up on google haha, but they do in all seriousness.and all of us are deep thinkers. I think after a while the constant rushes and cortisol rushes take toll and exhaust the body creating some symptoms that just longer a bit more then the actual rush. I never have found a cure, not sure one exists yet. I find the tinnitus is maddening once in a while and i get tingling as well (newer symptom though). Ive done a ton of tests and scans, maybe we all just react differently then other people to issues at hand. My husband had some major oral surgery and he does even get all anxious, im more then sure i would so our coping mechanisms are below par..probably from the trauma of the anxiety attacks. People just have no clue what these do or how intense they feel. I dont use medicine either, i cant. It isolates you after a while, hard to make plans and keep them nor do you wan.t the stress of rpeven having plans. Even when the full blown panic attacks are at bay the worrying and anxiety level is still there lurking. Its a rough road
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  • Posted

    I am doing a mood diary at the moment which records your emotional thoughts at am pm and evening and the last column asks you if there was anything going on to contribute to your mood.   Why not start one and see how it goes.

    rich

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